ArpitGarg's Weblog

A close friend of mine always said, “Beware your friends more than your enemies”. His reasoning was, you already know that your enemy will try and harm you, but your friend is the one whom you tend to trust and thus are more vulnerable. You least expect a friend to attack. Thus to be safe you have to be more vigil with people who you trust.

I came across some similar situation. People who call themselves your friend; proclaim it with a drum in hand, are the ones you should throw out of your lives. So I learn’t the hard way. I understand you have to have few people (or at least one), whom you can trust. To find such people amongst your friend group, you have to test them. I am not saying become the old lady from “old lady and the wolf story”, but do test them. Only then you will know if they are for real.

If you help your friend with cash or kind, they will pretend to be loyal to you. But how do you if they are for real? A rule of thumb is if you help your friend with money, you put your friendship at stake. Do it only in life and death situations if you have to, not as a norm. Else you are equally guilty of his/her impending betrayal.

If you have helped your friend with money, decide on a date of repayment with interest. Most of the times, the “friend” can get money from somewhere else, all he/she is looking for is to save on interest. Involve the interest component. This will preempt a lot of betrayals.

Even if you don’t need money, do ask a friend whom you have helped in past to lend you some. This will show the true colors if any. Never be gullible enough to fall prey to the crocodile tears of such people. Else they will hurt where you are most vulnerable, at times when you need their support.

I would suggest never involve money in friendship. Money is such a thing, which ends lives, this is just a friendship. There are a lot of people who will glue themselves to you just for taking advantage. It’s you who have to be careful. Remember, it’s never fun to find out you were being taken for a ride.