ArpitGarg's Weblog

An opinion of the world around me

Archive for September 2008

Munna ki Shaadi

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Everyone has some childhood memory which tend to bring smiles. For me it would be “childhood rhymes”. One which I sang the most, enjoyed the most is the, “Munna ki Shaadi”. Try singing it fast, would enjoy better. Also if you can couple it with claps, pleasure would be supreme.

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September 24, 2008 at 2:31 pm

Bigg Boss: The Truman Show

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For those who have watched Jim Carrey’s, “The Truman Show”, the Bigg Boss house too symbolizes the real world. Let’s see how.

Bigg Boss: He is the God, the almighty, the supreme. Members consider the decision of Bigg Boss their fate. They pray to their God to give them more food (budget) the coming week. They ask his forgiveness for any fault of theirs. They cry in the confession room. They get angry with him at times and as his children want him to be loving and caring.

Housemates: In this world we play various roles. Similarly the house mates take over different roles. Rahul becomes the toilet cleaner. Ketaki becomes the cook. Elina becomes the maid. Raja becomes the king. These roles are not allotted but are assumed.

Tasks: We all work to earn money, to get food. In the house too members perform a particular task to earn food for the coming week. If they fail, they don’t get paid that well and have to live with limited resources. This creates friction. ‘Coz scarcity of resources is the root cause of discontent and disruption. The work may not be what they wish to do. Still need to do it for living anyway.

Nominations: In real world we have friends and foes. We wish well for some and not so well for others. The nomination brings out the dark side. They want a person not be a part of their life anymore. They want the person they don’t like to leave the world. Simply they wish him to die. They pray to the God (Bigg Boss) to take their enemies away. They conspire to get rid of them.

Eliminations: The soul leaves the house. Bigg Boss decides to take a member away. A member goes out and only his memories remain. He is dead. The recurring elimination symbolizes that nothing is imperishable. Everyone has to die. Nature has to take its own course. The life continues.

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September 23, 2008 at 2:09 pm

सायोनारा: अलविदा सैंट पीटर्स

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My farewell speech 12 Std, St. Peters College Agra, 2003.

कुछ बीती बातों का छोड़ रहा हूँ फव्वारा,
सायोनारा|
दिल कि डायरी का है यह सार सारा,
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इस कविता में अपनी पहचान ख़ुद से है करारा यह बेचारा,
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सुबह घंटी बजने के ५ मिनट बाद नियमपूर्वक क्लास में है आरा,
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बिना पास के साइकिल स्टैंड वाले को दस रुपये का किया इशारा,
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बिन पॉलिश के जूतों और लंबे बालों को लिए क्लास में है घुसा जारा,
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डायरी न लाने पर एक दोस्त के कवर व बाकी से पन्ने लेकर असेम्बली में जाने की जुगाड़ है बिठारा,
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एडवर्ड सर की नजरों से बचने के लिए गंदे जूते पैंट से है घिसे जारा,
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छोटे कद का होकर भी असेम्बली की लाइन में सबसे पीछे है लगा जारा,
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प्रयेर के टाइम पे गर्लफ्रैंड के किस्से है सुनारा,
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नेशनल ऐनथम के दौरान अटेंशन में नहीं खड़ा हुआ जारा,
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‘गुड मोर्निंग टीचर’ को के.एल. सहगल के गीत की तरह है सुनारा,
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पहले ही पिरिएड में टिफिन का लिया चटकारा,
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चुपके से दूसरे कि बोतल से पानी है पिया जारा,
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लीव ऐप्लीकेशन न लाने पर जल्दी से मम्मी-पापा का साइन है किया जारा,
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बिना सिलेबस कि किताबों के भी नोविल्स के बोझ से बैग है फटा जारा,
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बोरिंग लेक्चर के बीच नींद में डूबा जारा और पकड़े जाने पर घिसा पिटा राग सुनारा,
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मॉरल साइंस के पिरिएड में फादर के संग ठहाके है लगारा,
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इंगलिश के पिरिएड में में मैथ का काम है किया जारा,
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मैथ का पिरिएड आने पर सिस्टर ऑफिस भागा जारा,
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एग्जाम से पहले बैठकर महनत से फर्रे है बनारा,
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टीचर के सिर को एरोप्लेन की लैंडिंग प्लेस है बनारा,
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चुन-चुन कर दूसरों पे रबड़ में फंसाकर बुलेट है बर्सारा,
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पंखे, ट्यूबलाईट और, बल्ब को चॉक का निशाना है बनारा,
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तबियत ख़राब होने का बहाना बनाकर घर को भगा जारा,
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फ़ुटबाल मैच में सामने वाले को धक्का देकर गिरारा और ख़ुद गिरने पर बाहर मिलने का न्योता देकर आरा,
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जूनियर साइड में नल की लाइन पर जाकर छोटे बच्चों को है हड़कारा,
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इंटरवल की घंटी बजने पर खिड़की से है कूदा जारा,
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कैंटीन में ५ रुपये में दो पैटी लेकर अपनी बुद्धि को है इतरारा,
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औरों की बर्थडे की ट्रीट खाकर अपनी बर्थडे के दिन स्कूल में न दिया नज़ारा,
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एब्सेंट होने पर रोज नया बहाना बनरा,
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कैंटीन की भीड़ में अपनी शक्ति का पूरा जोर दिखारा,
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दूसरे के बर्गर के चिथड़े कर फूले नहीं समारा,
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दो दोस्तों के बीच डब्लू.डब्लू.एफ करवाकर मंद-मंद मुस्करारा,
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क्लास से बंक मारकर पूरे स्कूल में गश्त है लगारा,
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पीछे बैठकर दोस्तों से गप्पें है लडारा,
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एग्जाम में आगे वाले को आन्सर बताने के लिए पटारा और न बताने पर उसे भूखे शेर कि तरह है घूरे जारा,
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केमिस्ट्री लैब में नाइट्रिक एसिड से घर की टकसाल के सारे सिक्के है चमकारा,
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विभिन्न रसायनों को मिला सतरंगी चित्र है बनारा,
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५ टी.टी  और दो बीकर तोड़ने की गाथा गर्व से पूरी क्लास को है सुनारा,
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फिजिक्स लैब में मरकरी कि गोलियाँ है बनरा,
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वहाँ के इन्सटरूमंट्स तोड़कर, उनके पहले से टूटे होने कि ख़बर सच्चाई से टीचर को है सुनारा,
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प्रोजक्ट टाइप करने के बहाने पूरा दिन कमप्यूटर लैब में ऐ.सी. के मजे है उड़ारा,
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मक्खन लगाकर सब टीचर्स का बनना चाह रहा दुलारा और दूसरों के मक्खन लगाने को सहन नहीं कर पारा,
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स्पोर्ट्स डे की शाम कॉरिडोर में बम्ब है छुड़ारा,
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और भड़ाम की आवाज आने पर सीना फूलकर दुगना हुआ जारा,
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एग्जाम टाइम में सब टीचर्स के पैर छूकर जारा,
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सेकंड क्लास की सीड़ियों से  “ग्रेट वाल पार आफ चाइना” के उस पार है झाँका जारा,
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स्कूल के अन्दर आने के रास्ते में बड़ा गेट आते ही स्पीड धीमी कर मुंडी है घुमारा,
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कम्बाइंड स्कूल सैलिब्रैशन के लिए १५ अगस्त का इंतज़ार है किया जारा,
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इन सब को याद कर बड़ी मुश्किल से हूँ में अश्रुधारा को रोक पारा,
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सैंट पीटर्स के गलियारों में दिल मेरा हारा,
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यहाँ है सब टीचर्स का स्नेह और फादर मैथ्यू का प्यार बहुत सारा,
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यहाँ है मानवता का फव्वारा,
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यह है मार्गदर्शक हमारा,
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येह है प्यार का गुलिस्तां हमारा,
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आज इन सब चीजों को कर रहा हूँ में सायोनारा
सायोनारा, सायोनारा, सायोनारा…
…अलविदा सैंट पीटर्स…

Can you dare? Long Hair

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Finally I decided to go through with it. I don’t know about others but I don’t do it that often. However once in a while I do ignore my inner inhibitions and heed to the demand of this material world. We often hear “inner self is supreme”, “What you are within matters most”. If that’s so, why does every other guy in the town need to point “it” out to me? I usually don’t accede to the constant queries like, “Why are you not getting it done?” or suggestions such as, “I think you should get it done already”. For those who are wondering, I am talking about my poor hairs. I don’t understand why does the society go all out to bring them under the guillotine? I mean, “Why Why Why???”

Any sign of hairs outgrowing my ears and they would all gather into a pack of hounds that has find its new prey. It would start with the usual, “Poor chap seems busy, so much of office work, doesn’t get time for even a haircut” Brick by brick it would lead to, “Want to keep long hair, hmm…going fashionable?” Even before you can react to that, you are being called by names ranging from Zulfi to Hairdo to Girly. I remember one of my favorites. It was when Tera Naam released and my hairs were around five months old. One of my colleague started calling me Aashiq or something similar; and soon every other guy followed suit.

When the near and dear ditch you, why to lament of the strangers. It might be bitter but the truth is that the strongest resistance comes from the family. Leave aside parents who were supposed to react so, even the Bua’s, Mami’s and Mausi’s make your life miserable. At first you try to laugh it off, later you try to dish out witty excuses. After some time you start dreading the family functions, where a bunch of deadly faces, salivating to the full, is waiting to devour you. One may reason that our society is a closed knit family…blah blah blah. I agree but why my poor hairs!!!

Recently when I was at home, fresh from college, all hell broke loose. It took some time for my parents to recognize me at station (or so they said). I don’t remember even a single relative who had not pricked me. High point came when I finally decided to go under the hammer. I was standing at paan bhandar near my ancestral house. The shopkeeper asked, “You seem like Shiv Bhaiyya’s son”. I nodded, “Yes, why?” His reply struck me really hard. “Nothing, I saw you last week. Wondered, what is Shiv Bhaiyya’s son doing roaming in a ponytail?” Earlier they were after me to get a cut. Now they have a new weapon ready, “Now that you have heeded to the advice, you look like a man”.

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September 23, 2008 at 10:12 am

Lehman will be back

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The speculations were going on since about a month. There were talks of possible stake sellout to complete buyout. People were quite optimistic though. It has been two months since I joined Lehman Brothers (India office) and four months since I received my B.Tech degree. I won’t say that the situation here is the first for me alone; it is the first for almost all of us here. When we saw Bear Stearns go down, it was like, “Oh! It’s not good. But we will sail through”. When it has come down to us, I know now how it feels like. It’s not that I am too much worried about a job or anything. A bit alright, but not much. After all, I am a recent college pass-out and that too from Computer Science. I hope to get a new job sooner or later. But still there is a sinking feeling deep down. After all guys, I might not come back to the job tomorrow.

I have seen anxious faces over the last few weeks amidst rumors of people being laid off in London and New York almost every other day. Nevertheless the professionalism here has been supreme. My managers, my seniors were trying to hold the forte, working 24×7 undeterred by the speculations. Even this past weekend, a lot of my colleagues worked 24×7 trying to sail past the inevitable. When the news of the failed talks started trickling in, anxious faces turned into “wtf!” to “what next?” Pagers and phones kept buzzing all through the day. The friends, family and old mates kept enquiring the Holy Grail. “What went wrong?” “Come’ on yaar!!! Even Richard Fuld would be wondering about that”. Having come to him, I must say that people here hold him in very high regard. Till the recent news, people were dead sure that Richard Fuld would pull it off. And even today, we all are sure; he had done what all he could do. We still believe that Lehman will be back sooner or later. Richard Fuld is not the one to go down so easily. The faith people have in him here is just next to what I had seen during my college days, when the whole college used to have such blind faith in our director GB Sir, IITG. The feeling of such solidarity must be felt to believe in.

I want to admit today that I have been a bit laid off although my life. Or at least last few years at college. I have let life take its own course putting in just the effort which was required of me. I and my friends who have joined Lehman recently are taking it as a blessing in disguise. We have faced such as scenario so early in our career. It would help us remain prepared for the future. Working with Lehman has been a nice ride. I have learnt a lot here. The employee base here is among the best what you can get.

I have just talked to my colleague in London who was calling it off for the day probably heading for the nearest pub. Well, we deserve at least a mug of Beer. After all it has been a hell of a day.

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September 15, 2008 at 11:07 am

Six things that annoy me most in Bigg Boss

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  1. The irritating laugh of Rahul Mahajan. It sounds as if he is trying to pull off a gargling Santa.
  2. Payal’s camera consciousness. Her constant reminders that one should not make a fool of oneself on National Television. God it’s almost a cliché, just 3 weeks down the line.
  3. How Elina’s accent kinda changes, you (k)now when she switches from Hindi to English.
  4. Sambhanvna trying to act decent sometimes, when we all including her know that’s not the case.
  5. Another one of Payal’s clichés, “I am not some Bai” and “I am not from such low background”.
  6. Shilpa trying too hard to act to be a host but failing miserably each Friday.

Written by arpitgarg

September 10, 2008 at 12:06 pm

Tring…Tring…are you an idiot?

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I received this call last week.

Caller: Hello, is this Hardhik Garg? not clear whether it was Hardhik or Karthik.
Me: May, I know who this is?
Caller: Hi, I am Shyamsundar. I am a pass out of IIT Guwahati. You are also from Guwahati naa Hardhik. I got your name and number from Satish Mittal. You might know him. He was from your batch.
Me: Arre, my name is Arpit. Yes, I know Satish.
Caller: Sorry Arpit. Actually I just talked to Satish over the phone. He was busy with a presentation. So couldn’t hear him clearly. By the way I am from ‘99 ECE batch.
Me: ’99 passout batch?
Caller: No ’99 joining batch. I passed out in ’03.
Me: Oh!
Caller: Yes, you and Satish would have joined a year later.
Me: Yes, exactly.
Caller: You might know Bora Sir, Gogoi Sir.
Me: Yes, I knew Bora Sir. Not remember about Gogoi Sir.
Caller: Well, I am in Mumbai right now. I came here with regard to my visa for Australia. I was travelling in local train when my wallet got lost.
Me: Oh God!
Caller: Yes and with it went all my cash, credit card, debit card.
Me: So you are out of cash right now. Guessing that’s why he had called.
Caller: Yes. That pretty much the case. I called Satish for help. He was busy in office. I know how it is. I myself was at Microsoft for over a year. So didn’t disturb him much. He gave me your number and asked me to contact you for help.
Me: Oh Ok
Caller: So where exactly are you in Mumbai?
Me: I am at my office in Powai area.
Caller: Oh! Near IITB. I have been there once during college.
Me: Ok. So where are you? How do you need help?
Caller: Sorry yaar. I guess I am not disturbing you.
Me: No problem at all.
Caller: I have just one debit card left with me. Fortunately, it was in the bag and not the wallet. It’s an old HDFC account. I haven’t used it recently, so it doesn’t have any balance right now.
Me: Yes listening.
Caller: Can you please deposit some money into this account. Would it be a problem?
Me: No. not at all. What’s your full name? Shaymsundar…
Caller: It’s S. Shaymsundar. I am from south.
Me: Oh. Ok. Yes go on.
Caller: My account number is XXXX. I will return your money as soon as I reach home.
Me: Oh. Ok. I haven’t received such calls before. Was not sure whether it was a crank call. How to be sure? Just then it struck to me. So which hostel were you in?
Caller: Oh! I didn’t live in hostel. My dad was … he told some Govt job, that I forgot in Guwahati. I used to live with my family in the city.
Me: Ok. You might know Ravi then. He was from your batch only. (Just made some name up to check).
Caller: No I don’t remember any Ravi. Which stream was he in?
Me: I don’t know exactly. Thought you might know. Well so bhaiyya (trying not to sound too questioning), who was the director at your time.
Caller: Oh! He was someone called Mohanty. You might not know him. (Caught you!!!)
Me: Yes, yes. So what is the sum you need?
Caller: Let’s see. I have to take a flight from here to Banglore. I would need 2-2.5K.
sounding hesitant and feeling sorry to disturb me I hope I am not troubling you any bit?
Me: Arre naa.
Caller: Is there any HDFC branch near you? You may check online for that.
Me: I think there is one branch nearby.
Caller: Oh. Thank God! So how long would it take?
Me: It should take me around 20 min to reach there.
Caller: So are you leaving right now?
Me: Don’t worry. I will leave immediately.
Caller: Thanks yaar. I would repay it on reaching Bangalore. I would like to meet you and Satish both when I return from Sydney. You guys are really helpful.
Me: Oh! No problem at all. After all you are our senior. This is the least we could do.
Caller: So. I’ll call you in half an hour.
Me: Yes, sure.

I called Satish. He whispered over the phone. He was in a presentation. I asked him does he know any Shyamsundar and had he given him my number. According to him, this guy called him some 15-20 minutes ago. Was not sure where he got his cell number. From orkut, perhaps. Forwarded the call to me, as he himself is busy. “Plz verify before doing anything”, were his words.

Well. I did leave immediately not for the Bank but for lunch. I went over the chinks in the story with my friends, to weigh the odds.

Chink 1: He was not able to tell the name of the hostel and made up some excuse. Plausible though, I must say.

Chink 2: There was no director by the name of Mohanty. GB Sir were there in our time and if he had passed in 2003, as he said he did, he should have known his name.

Chink 3: I would have understood if he needed some cash. But he needed money transferred into his account. Given internet (core) banking these days, he could as well have called his friends and family. They would have deposited money anywhere in India into his account.

Chink 4: Similar argument goes for the flight ticket to Bangalore. Any of his known one could have booked the ticket online. He just needed the PNR. Instead he went all pains to ask someone he didn’t knew even remotely.

Chink 5: The best part of it. The call was from a local landline number. I tried to call back but it was engaged. Probably a STD booth. So the guy didn’t have a cell number.

He called back and I told him that there is no HDFC bank in my vicinity. Better he call his friends and family to get a ticked booked online. Sorry that I could not help him. Looking forward to meeting him when he is back from Sydney.

Well, I still have his account number. (Based on real events)

Written by arpitgarg

September 9, 2008 at 1:23 pm

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