ArpitGarg's Weblog

During my early childhood, in the absence of mobile phones, there were very few means to communicate real-time. I remember we waited, all dressed up for my father to come from office and take us market/movie or whatever that was promised. It often happened so; he came back late caught up in some work with no communication.

Now my father is what you can call a Community Character. He will go the extra mile to help people who come to him with problems. He would take charge of marriage arrangements to help out families that he knows of. When we were waiting for him he might get busy helping out some old aunt, uncle or someone who asked his help.

We used to get angry with him then, but today we can understand he was just helping his fellow men. People used to ask him for money, for medicines, child’s school fees and what not. He used to help out and mostly never got his money back.

It’s just that he didn’t know how to say NO. We can look at it both ways. Good or Bad. As I grew up and started discussing things more openly with my father, I realized that over the years he too came to understand the need to say NO. More so, when the people whom he helped, never helped back.

Life has changed a lot in last 10-15 years and time has become a scarcity now. Living in metros, fast paced life and hectic work in private firms has left very less time for an individual. It’s ever more necessary to prioritize and filter out things. People would love to let you do their work. Take for example office, do help out others but always complete your own work first. If you have to stay late helping others, it’s your family with whom you are spending less time.

When you say No, do it in a polite manner. Explain the other person that you would like to help out once you complete your own work, time permitting. It would help you in the long term. No point if your own work/family suffers. It’s very frustrating to say the least.