Posts Tagged ‘akshay’
Of Batman and Bollywood
With anxiety about the latest Batman flick running Everest high, Christian Bale is the name on everyone’s lips. This masked and caped vigilante has brought a sense of respect to comic books, missing till now. There have been many a actors who have donned the cowl over the years ranging from the heroic Val Kilmer to the forgettable George Clooney.
This led me to wonder how would the character have panned out had our own Bollywood stars played The Batman. Let see one by one.
| 1. Salman Khan | |
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The accented Khan would have suited best as when he speaks in accent he is hardly intelligible, much like Batman whisper. How awesome would it have sound.
Catwoman: “Tumne Gotham ke liye bahut kuch kiya. Ab bas karo”.
Batman: “Nahin, ek baar jo maine commitment kar di, toh main apne aap k bhi nahin sunta”.
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| 2. Shahrukh Khan | |
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He is no alien to wearing tight body suits and saving the town. Unlike Batman, his sign would be posing sideways with arms stretched out.
Whenever he would do that, Inspector Gordon would run into his arms with music in the background.His melodrama and his enemies would die weeping. Casting Robin for him would be a no brainer! |
| 3. Akshay Kumar | |
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A flirt Batman. A Kishen Kanhiyya. More like Bruce Wayne, partying with models on his yacht. His endless gags one after the another and his enemies would go insane laughing.
Dialogue: “Mein apne desh ka pehla launda hoon jo chimkadad ban ke ud riya hoon.”
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| 4. Ajay Devgn | |
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The Singham Batman would break the fingers when pointed at.
Aata majhi satakli, aali le aali Joker, teri baari aali. The superhero with tilted head would be famous for car chases, blowing and flying cars as he chases his enemies in Bat Car.
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| 5. Saif Ali Khan | |
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The cool urbane Batman with a sheepish smile.
“Ek baar mein samajh gaye ki main Batman hoon ya mein waapas ghoom ke aaoon”.
He has his readymade Batgirl in Kareena. He would roam around flirting with umpteen girls while his enemies would get eliminated. “Bade aaraam se”.
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| 6. Aamir Khan | |
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The perfectionist Batman. He would sleep hanging upside down at the ceiling, lest the character gets diluted. He would surgically get bat wings and paint his face black.
Instead of fighting crimes, would fly away and live with bats in their caves. His logic, Bat’s don’t fight crimes, they just hang upside down and terrorize people. |
| 7. Abhishek Bachchan | |
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This would be the first Batman of its kind. Liberation! Instead of the Cape, he would be donning a gown. Instead of all black, it would be all red and pink.
He would charm his enemies and live with him happily ever after. |
Akshay, Aamir, Awards: A Dilemma
Last night a breaking news simultaneously bombarded across all the News Channels. “Akshay refused to accept the Star Screen award for the best actor in popular category”. It was said that he was miffed at it not being given to Aamir. Here’s the catch. Aamir don’t attend such award ceremonies as a policy. Would announcing Aamir the winner take the sheen away from the ceremony, given his absence? To some extend, yes. Now what can Star Screen do? I recollect similar dilemma during the time of Gadar and Lagaan. Their resounding success was of so sheer velocity that no award ceremony dare give it to some other movie or some other star. Since Sunny and Aamir both boycott these populist awards, what happened? The award functions looked pale and just a formality. This brings us to the current discussion, Was Star Screen right in not giving award to the deserving, Aamir? Well, answer might not be as simple.
One solution might be to stop nominating them. Make it a policy statement. In the past a lot many award functions have done so, including Oscars. This might in turn end up lending them, a much needed credibility.
So why haven’t they done it already? Most of the award functions are organized by private media houses who need the stars for promotional purposes. Consider a scenario, “Aamir Khan not been considered for Star Screen awards”. Given the size of egos in Bollywood, Aamir (or his well wishers), might take it as an insult. This would open the floodgates, open war b/w camps (already there are no less). No media house wants to end up at the point of no return. So they try and maintain cordial relations. Not attending the award lends the star, a high moral ground. Not being openly considered might be taken as an outright insult. The truth today is that stars such as Aamir are more powerful than any particular media house. Hence they are nominated year after year, should they ever change their mind.
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