Love vs Arrange Marriage: What they dare not tell you
I read a few of the posts as to how in India Arrange Marriage is increasingly becoming taboo (against earlier when love marriage was taboo). They cited examples as to how in metros general observation is, “His must have been arranged marriage else he would not have landed such a pretty girl”. Most other posts also give similar examples which show men into negative. As if arranged marriage is something that helps undeserving men “GET” Cinderella’s.
I mean really? Actually all this started with that non-writer who milked IIT’s in his first novel and revel in praise by mediocre people to his mediocre writing. In one of his novel on a similar topic, he had the leading lady explaining to a “non-deserving” guy, as to how lucky he was that he is getting a Cinderella, just coz of arranged marriage. Else he would have got a lame girl on his own (read love marriage).
Now let me give you some not so fancy truth. Love marriage has helped none but the girls, who are able to land up with guys, whom the girls would never have got from arranged marriage. No one dare to cite this fact. Girls end up with a Prince Charming from love marriage. Her father would just have mustered a lame guy in comparison. Come one girls be brave enough to accept this. You don’t have faith in your father and his finances anymore.
Love marriage is a vehicle for girls to get hold of a better guy most of the times. Guys rarely gain anything materialistic from it. So girls when next time you say, “This guy got Cinderella just coz of arranged marriage. He didn’t have spine to get her by himself”. Remember, “You got the Prince Charming just coz of love marriage. Your father didn’t have spine to get him for you”.
The moment
I remember that moment to this day. Like it has etched itself in my memory with some permanent ink.
The moment I felt more alive than I ever have. The moment I felt no need for an answer to my existence. The moment I felt my soul. The moment I found myself with the singularity. The moment surroundings became dimensionless and I found my direction.
The moment the struggle seized to exist. The moment all efforts seemed futile. The moment I was nowhere and I was everywhere. The moment I was the God and I was the worshipper. The moment the sun shined the brightest. The moment the night was the darkest.
The moment I was supreme. The moment I was helpless. The moment I was filled with emotions. The moment I was zombie. The moment I was content. The moment I desired. The moment I knew everyone. The moment all were strangers.
The moment I enjoyed the pleasures of heaven. The moment I burnt in hell. The moment I held my head high. The moment I hung my head in shame. The moment I was way ahead. The moment I was the last. The moment of agreement. The moment of discontent. The moment I wanted to die. The moment I wanted to live.
The moment of bereavement. The moment of happiness. The moment of enlightenment. The moment of bewilderment. The moment of sanity. The moment of insane. The moment of extreme love. The moment of worst hatred. The moment I wished never ended. The moment I begged seized to exist.
It was the moment I died.
Money and Friendship
A close friend of mine always said, “Beware your friends more than your enemies”. His reasoning was, you already know that your enemy will try and harm you, but your friend is the one whom you tend to trust and thus are more vulnerable. You least expect a friend to attack. Thus to be safe you have to be more vigil with people who you trust.
I came across some similar situation. People who call themselves your friend; proclaim it with a drum in hand, are the ones you should throw out of your lives. So I learn’t the hard way. I understand you have to have few people (or at least one), whom you can trust. To find such people amongst your friend group, you have to test them. I am not saying become the old lady from “old lady and the wolf story”, but do test them. Only then you will know if they are for real.
If you help your friend with cash or kind, they will pretend to be loyal to you. But how do you if they are for real? A rule of thumb is if you help your friend with money, you put your friendship at stake. Do it only in life and death situations if you have to, not as a norm. Else you are equally guilty of his/her impending betrayal.
If you have helped your friend with money, decide on a date of repayment with interest. Most of the times, the “friend” can get money from somewhere else, all he/she is looking for is to save on interest. Involve the interest component. This will preempt a lot of betrayals.
Even if you don’t need money, do ask a friend whom you have helped in past to lend you some. This will show the true colors if any. Never be gullible enough to fall prey to the crocodile tears of such people. Else they will hurt where you are most vulnerable, at times when you need their support.
I would suggest never involve money in friendship. Money is such a thing, which ends lives, this is just a friendship. There are a lot of people who will glue themselves to you just for taking advantage. It’s you who have to be careful. Remember, it’s never fun to find out you were being taken for a ride.
Sick pleasure of our struggle
How the tide turns! I have read this phrase here and there, but never really understood the import of this, save for now. Suddenly all that was rosy turns to thorns. All of a sudden rain into downpour. Gentle breeze becomes tornado; a soothing wave becomes tsunami.
We humans struggle with ourselves all our lives. We fight the inner demons, wanting to be victorious. More often than not we lose. What are these inner demons? Maybe they are imbedded by the creator on purpose. To keep us in check. Or maybe just a for the purpose of some sick game he is playing. Pitting us against our inner self.
I feel we are not alone. Our single body houses us and a demon. It keeps us busy with a struggle so futile. This demon comes into its colors during crisis. A struggle we are destined to lose. A carrot of a hope, with a stick following.
Just when you are happy, the doom beckons. It comes in different avatars. It actions via different beings. It can make you harm yourself; make a loved one harm you. Without a prior warning, it jumps onto you. Catching you unawares.
Such is the tide of time. We feel we have a winning chance. But when have the puppets won. We are but at masters whims and fancies. Like a wicked child playing with toys. We do what makes the child tick. Hence our actions makes no sense most of the times.
We should give into the all-power. There is no point to struggle. It’s not our battle to win. Don’t give him the sick pleasure of your struggle.
देखा तुझे तो जाना ये
दिल में नहीं था कोई गम,
खुशियाँ भी थीं मुझे भरपूर,
फिर भी अधूरा था जीवन,
देखा तुझे तो जाना ये।
अपनी मस्ती में ही जीता,
मन करा तो जरा-२ पीता,
यह सब तो बस मिथ्या थी,
देखा तुझे तो जाना ये।
सारा संसार ये था मेरा,
उत्तर दक्षिण, पूरब पश्चिम,
अधूरा था कितना बिन तेरे,
देखा तुझे तो जाना ये।
जीत बहुत सी मिलीं मुझे,
बहुत इनां मैंने जीते,
ख़ुशी जीत की होती क्या,
देखा तुझे तो जाना ये।
गुस्सा हमेशा रहा खड़ा,
हर किसी से जा-२ के मैं लड़ा,
बिन लड़े हारने में भी मज़ा,
देखा तुझे तो जाना ये।
अपनी बुद्धि पे बड़ा ताब,
अपनी प्रशंसा आपों आप,
बनके पगला फिरना कैसा,
देखा तुझे तो जाना ये।
था सब कुछ, पर कुछ कम,
न कहने वाला कोई सनम,
आँखों की नमीं क्या होती,
देखा तुझे तो जाना ये।
Today is the day it all started
Today is the day it all started,
Today is the day it all ends,
From the echo of the silence,
To the laughter of the friends.
Two ends of time meet today,
Circled along for bit too long,
Whatever required will be done,
There is nothing right or wrong.
We all have been so resistant,
To embrace the ways ahead,
It’s just insecurities speaking,
As to proof, there is no shred.
A plunge has to be taken indeed,
Living in silo is thing of the past,
Sooner or later; it’s just a matter,
Gregarious you will? or an outcast.
This is called walking to future,
New customs, people; life change,
Going against is not desired,
If you do, it is highly strange.
It’s high time
You won’t be the pillar that I need,
You won’t be the strength I need,
You won’t be there calming nerves,
It’s high time I start to live with that.
When nervous, learn to soothe myself,
When angry, learn to stem the tide,
When sad, learn to cheer up myself,
It’s high time I start to live with that.
You don’t know but I feel miserable,
You don’t know but I feel all alone,
You don’t know, I am confident no more,
It’s high time I start to live with that.
I long for cushion from scorching sun,
I long to be saved from incessant rain,
Have to fight alone from the dark of night,
It’s high time I start to live with that.
I have always cared for you my love,
I have always tried to preempt your need,
Needs maybe I will never be able to meet,
It’s high time I start to live with that.
It’s not that you mean me some bad,
It’s not that you want to make me sad,
You have your own struggle, own fight,
It’s high time I start to live with that.
I always wanted to do the right thing,
How I ended up on the wrong side,
Maybe my sins catching up with me,
It’s high time I start to live with that.
Open Letter to Mr. MoneyHungry Goswami
If you are a dog, admit it and fetch a bone. Don’t pretend to be a tiger. You stand exposed. Today nation wants to know when would you admit, you sensationalize for ratings, for hunger of money. Nation wants to know when would you admit that you advertise yourself a crusader just to earn money. Nation wants to know if this low self-esteem that makes you do it or there is something wrong biologically?
Admit that you pick and choose news that suits your English speaking target audience so that you get TRP’s and money. You have no interest of nation at heart.
Admit it that if you feel there won’t be TRP’s you drop the news, no matter how important it is to the nation.
Admit it you are worst kind of hypocrite that can be as you cherry pick new under guise of media freedom.
Admit it you are just a self boasting thug and not a crusader as you project yourself. “We have broken all scams. We have broken all scams. We have highest TRP’s. We have highest TRP’s”. Why so much boasting?
Few examples Why I say so?
1. Where is round the clock coverage of 100 people dying by poisonous alcohol? Why not relentless reporting on it? Because you feel your English speaking target audience won’t care much of 100 poor people dying. Lalit Modi episode will give you more eyeballs. Isn’t that it?
2. Why no relentless reporting on VVIP racism when it comes to media. That media people are today’s worst VVIP’s is no secret. Be it toll plaza, be it quid pro quo.
3. Why no relentless reporting against Times of India when it abused Deepika Paukone. Why no “Nation wants to know and Times of India Shame” when TOI puts cheap headlines shaming women on its website?
4. Why no relentless reporting against Rajiv Shukla on IPL corruption issue? Coz he was a journalist, is that so?
5. Why only targeting the Govt? Why not people in opposition even on important issues? Since targeting Govt gives you ready audience of anti-incumbent people. The TRP’s. Huh! Is this true reporting. What else explains your silence on Pawar, Chibamram, Tharoor on IPL scandal? Though I agree BJP has lost it.
Mr. MoneyHungry Goswami, do things not for money and I will call you a crusader. Else admit you do things for eyeballs and TRP’s and don’t care about objective and balanced reporting. You have turned Investigative Journalism into Sensationalism Journalism. By blatant biasness due to lust for TRP’s, you have opened media to brickbats and have put independence of media into jeopardy, you foolish, TRP hungry, money lusting of a man!
Shallow Indians? Yoga Day Begging for International Approval
So Yoga day which reverberated with Made In India, was rejoiced by Indians for setting 2 Guinness World Records. Am I the only one to notice the irony?
See the image on the left, Ministry of Ayush being handed over the Guinness certificates by a foreigner. This celebrated image reeks of approval that we are seeking from foreigners. Continue Reading
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