ArpitGarg's Weblog

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Posts Tagged ‘2012

2012: The year that wasn’t

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Topmost could have been headlines of year 2012.

1. India demolishes Eng 3-0 in the home Test Match Series. Tendulkar hit his first triple ton. Gambhir is vindicated of “see you at home” remark. BCCI decides to scrap away Tests from ICC Future Tours Program. BCCI chief Srinivasan said and I quote “All Tests played in Chennai will be Home Tests and those played elsewhere in the country will be Away Tests”.

2. World not able to witness 21st Dec 2012. Just as predicted by the great “Ronald Emmerich” in his movie 2012, owing to Earth Crust Displacement and massive Earthquakes, 90% of human civilization is wiped off. This news is telecasted from US Space Station. John Cusack is among the survivors.

3. London Olympics 2012, turned out to be a disaster, overshadowing Delhi Common Wealth Games. Kalmadi was grinning from ear to ear with, “I told ya sa” expression. Anacondas and Godzilla’s were cited around athletes’ village. Organizers are blaming it on different perceptions of security standards across the world.

4. US Presidential elections were marred by an act of shooting when a heated argument between Obama and Romney got out of hand. Both took out their M16’s and started shooting at each other and the audience. The audience were already dead of boredom so no harm done.

5. 2012 was landmark year in India as far as women safety was concerned. Women Safety Bill 2012 was passed in the parliament, which led to Women only Police stations and death penalty for rapists. Country saw ZERO rape cases and only handful of eve-teasing incidents this year.

6. AK series phone have made Nokia the market leader in Smart Phones. Foldable screens and Phones which could shoot better than AK47 have done the trick. “We don’t need to buy a gun for Mass Shootings, We buy Nokia instead”, said a consumer. Apple will be filing for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy during March next year. Samsung is in talk with Yahoo for a possible sellout.

7. United Nations Security Council intervens in the Julian Assange’s case. US/UK could face UN sanctions owing to gross human right violations. Wikileaks brings to light more facts that no one was aware of. “Sun rises in the East”, “Earth is round” and “Blueberry cheese cake is awesome”.

Among other news.
Chuck Norris was not able to kill two birds with one stone. Rajnikant was cited asleep. Superman wore underwear under his pants. Batman finally played cricket. Vivek Oberoi became superstar. Chacha Choudhary got beaten by new Ipad in chess. Manmohan Singh saw movie of his choice.

Written by arpitgarg

December 31, 2012 at 1:20 pm

An Open Letter to Akhilesh Yadav

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Dear Sir,

Let me congratulate you and your party for winning the UP elections fair and square. Fair as in you made no promises of reservation, you replaced tainted nominees, you promised growth. Square is for all to see in the number of seats you garnered.

You have been a fresh face in UP politics in some time and people have taken a liking to you. With no disrespect to your father, this referendum is yours and yours alone. Whether you decide to be Chief Minister or not, is a trivial matter. There are some serious issues at hand which requires your consideration than the anointment.

Development of UP has been stagnant for as long as I remember. We were promised flyover at by-pass Agra. It has been decade since and traffic looks like war-front these days. I would request you to look into the development of roads on priority. Better transportation converts into good business and growth.

Next would be to create jobs in the Tier-2/3. Apart from Noida, I can’t name any other city where jobs have been created at such pace. Create atmosphere conducive to IT and other industries. Lure them in like Gujarat and Bihar.

This might prick a bit Sir, The Gundaraj. Your party has been infamous for propagating the same. Your party had been accused of converting universities into breeding ground for strong men. I hope you would do different this time. Make mafia shiver in your rein. Please allow competition and bring an end to one-upmanship of notorious characters like Ponty Chadda.

Bring pride back to UP. No one should be able to address our state as breeder of migrant labor, hub of corruption and den of poverty. People should be forced to respect UP with the level of development you bring in.

I know it’s a long and hard journey. But we are with you Sir. Your detractors would want you to fall, aam-junta too fear of being disappointed once again. Prove us all wrong and make Uttar Pradesh, an Uttam Pradesh.

Arpit

Written by arpitgarg

March 6, 2012 at 7:50 pm

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