Posts Tagged ‘BCCI’
Why Shastri’s tirade against Ganguly is laughable
Shastri is miffed with Ganguly for not making him the coach of Indian cricket team. This is the first I have heard Shastri going after BCCI regime. Oh! Wait, that was because he was the go to guy for Srinivasan. He enjoyed all the perks that came with being on the side of First man of Cricket. He was there in all and any BCCI committees. He was there as coach/manager; he was there for giving clean chit to Srinivasan and his son in law.
Shastri has ashamedly supported Srinivasan, standing shoulder to shoulder with him. What people like Shastri did was to give credibility to people like Srini. Ok, Shastri was doing his job and he couldn’t do anything different, but the coziness he showed with corrupt BCCI regime was repulsive. Last time when Shastri was appointed coach/manager, he didn’t bring up the due process issue. Why? Coz there was no due process at all. Srini was just rewarding his gang.
But now he accuses Ganguly of not following due process, of being disrespectful for not being there when Shastri was being interviewed. Mr. Shastri, being at the other end, isn’t fancy, is it? Well for me if Dada showed any disrespect, then he has my 100% support and support of other cricket fans like me. You have no moral standi to ask for due process, when you along with Srini followed none.
It’s not just Dada, no cricket fan likes you. You, a member of Srini gang. I am sad Gavaskar also went the Srini way and lost a lot of respect from fans. Even Dhoni’s halo fell when he chose to cozy up to Srini and went for the now infamous breakfast. Doing your job is fine; we could have understood your predicament. But the cozy club you chose to be part of for financial gains, has now come back to haunt you.
You have exploited the process for long. It’s time for some cleanup. I and other cricket fans will take poison from Ganguly then take Sanjeevani from you. Hope you get the gist of it.
Why this years IPL has been the most open ever
We are at the fag end of IPL and still the top four are not decided. Even the table toppers can still get eliminated with just two games left to play. Have all the teams suddenly started competing or have all become equally bad?
Well the answer is not as straight forward. It lies in the end of Srinivasan era. Srini, a master at quid pro quo. He knew how to keep people happy and keep them shut up. Ever since he grew in stature in BCCI and bagged the IPL team, courtesy Pawar power, he kept Chennai Team head and shoulder above the rest. How? Well there have been auctions after auctions after the first one. Remember the 4 player retainer rule; it was there as Srini had a good team. Had his team ended bottom of table first 3 IPL, do you imagine the retainer rule ever being there.
Then during subsequent auctions, players that Chennai wanted were put in later rounds of auction, as by then others have lost their purse. Everybody knew that, some raised their voices, none listened. There were these small things that added to Chennai Superpower and never let it diminish.
Who would take Srini on? Even Subroto Sahara was helpless and had to exit IPL.
An open IPL bodes well for the tournament. I wish it remain that way in future. But given the ills of BCCI I suspect some other Srini to emerge from the gravel.
Bhogle is no saint: Stop shedding Tears for him
“O My God, How can they remove Harsha Bhogle? How dare they? He is such a good commentator” and yada yada. We have been hearing and reading similar tones since last few days. It is as if Sachin has been axed. Okay, not so much. There is no blood bath.
I am not for shedding tears for Bhogle. I am not deriding Bhogle here. My intention is point out few things, which are being ignored during this argument.
First and foremost Bhogle is no saint. He was on retainer by BCCI to say what they wanted him to say. That he had Gavaskar for company didn’t make it any good. One can argue that he did that to earn his living. But soon as you make this argument, whole Bhogle charisma falls apart. He is nothing but a guy who was ready to sell the sanctity of game for money. He is no impartial commentator working for the good for the game. He is just a guy who speaks in his good verbal skills, what he is paid to say. That takes away the halo.
Now to the part that he is the best. That is very subjective. He might be to some; he might not be to others. No doubt he had good skills but so do a lot of others. Also this is a contractual job and not a permanent one. There was no surety of the job, and hence the premium he used to charge.
Harsha Bhogle is not naïve. He is a smart MBA from IIM, who branded and marketed himself, with the top brain he has got. Again, most of us would have done the same, given the skills. And that’s my point. He is just a normal guy. He was ever too ready to bide by BCCI diktat and in turn did no good to the game that made him rich. Most of the people who were on BCCI retainer did the same.
And this fells another argument. Bhogle was a part of the cozy club for thus long, where the policy is to scratch each other back. He survived this long by keeping to the rules of the club. Speak no truth if it harms others in the club. Have you heard anything from him on all the wrongs by the BCCI? He was the best man during Srinivasan era; he was best man before and after that. He made friends with everyone to get contracts after contracts, with no truth to the game.
Harsha Bhogle tweeted some years back,
the salary is the wrong reason to go to iim-a because you go there, or to any fine institution, to make a career not earn a salary.
— Harsha Bhogle (@bhogleharsha) 15 October 2011
How ironic. He started to make a career of commentary and compromised for the salary himself. What has been done to Harsha is the same thing that BCCI did to others over the years. All those years when Harsha Bhogle stood silently fattening his bank balance. All those years when Harsha Bhogle was in bed with the cozy club. Now he has been booted out. Cycle of nature.
And he is very smart. He is not saying any ill against BCCI even now. Not spilling the dirty secrets of the club. He is playing a victim, appealing to people emotionally, whilst keeping the door open for return to BCCI. He is a shrewd MBA who knows how to sell himself and fatten his bank balance.
No need to shed tears for him. He has already made millions of BCCI by doing their bidding and by not being true to the game of cricket. BCCI is a bunch of thugs and he was one of them.
BCCI and SA: Friendship Gone Wrong
Media reports concerning the divide between India and South Africa cricket boards have left me to wonder a thing of two about friendship. Ever since Gandhi happened, the two countries have remained close. Be it politics or cricket. What happened? How did things go sour?
Friendship is based on mutual trust and affection. I expect my friend to stand by me through thick and thin. I don’t expect my friend to judge me and side with the world to throw bricks at me. I expect my friend to be by my side, protecting me from those bricks. If my friend betrays me, the vengefulness is extreme.
I am not justifying either BCCI or SA cricket board. I am trying to find a reason what went wrong and how? It’s a known fact that Mr. Lorgat is not very much liked by BCCI. Just as SA board has every right to appoint him as its head, BCCI has every right not to like him. Once SA board sided with BCCI’s enemy, there was no going back. Would I like if my friend sides with the one who I share mistrust with? Wouldn’t I feel hurt?
As to the reasons for the mistrust between Mr. Lorgat and BCCI, I am no insider. But what has followed is the retribution. “Now you pay my friend for choosing my enemy over me”, seems to be the tone. Personally, I am not the one to hit back. I would simply severe all relations with this so called friend and move on with my life. But with cricket boards it’s not that simple. They have to deal with each other. So the best way is to confirm to the mandatory commitments and no go overboard.
BCCI is smart enough to know that. By shortening the time period of the tour, it is inching towards the minimum requirement of FTP (Future Tours Program) of the ICC, which I read is 2 Tests and 3 ODIs. Anything above that is for a friend. SA cricket board has to bear it for now. It too can reciprocate the same mandatory commitment when time comes.
Sad part is that a friendship of 20 years is in trouble and that my friend is not good.
Take Moral Responsibility and Resign
Wikipedia explains Moral Responsibility as, the status of morally deserving praise, blame, reward, or punishment for an act or omission, in accordance with one’s moral obligations.
He/she should take moral responsibility and resign. Of late I have been reading this statement a lot. This is very common in politics where probity is something which politicians have to abide by due to the public nature of their job. It is much less in private organizations.
This responsibility lies in one’s own moral obligations which differ from person to person. What might be moral obligation for Gandhi, might not be for Godse. I have been reading media reports on how/why head of a particular sports body is asked to resign taking so called moral responsibility. And the concerned person is not ready to.
There is a basic flaw which I find in the moral responsibility argument. When we know a person has done something wrong, it clearly makes him immoral. So in effect we are asking an immoral person to take moral responsibility. Which he clearly will not, as it means relinquishing the power.
On the other hand if a person has done nothing wrong, is honest and moral, the allegations will hurt him/her and in turn he/she will resign. Thus what “moral responsibility and resigning” conundrum does is, it makes moral people relinquish power while immoral people continue enjoying it.
What I feel is society and its pole bearers should get together and throw away the immoral people rather than asking for their resignation. In the particular case of this sports body, the moral people of the organization should get rid of the immoral. But the sad truth is, we are part of a society that celebrates immorality since it beds with power and money. And who would not want it?
Look around, which side would you rather be on? Honestly I would side with power, be it tainted. This is the chilling reality.
2012: The year that wasn’t
Topmost could have been headlines of year 2012.
1. India demolishes Eng 3-0 in the home Test Match Series. Tendulkar hit his first triple ton. Gambhir is vindicated of “see you at home” remark. BCCI decides to scrap away Tests from ICC Future Tours Program. BCCI chief Srinivasan said and I quote “All Tests played in Chennai will be Home Tests and those played elsewhere in the country will be Away Tests”.
2. World not able to witness 21st Dec 2012. Just as predicted by the great “Ronald Emmerich” in his movie 2012, owing to Earth Crust Displacement and massive Earthquakes, 90% of human civilization is wiped off. This news is telecasted from US Space Station. John Cusack is among the survivors.
3. London Olympics 2012, turned out to be a disaster, overshadowing Delhi Common Wealth Games. Kalmadi was grinning from ear to ear with, “I told ya sa” expression. Anacondas and Godzilla’s were cited around athletes’ village. Organizers are blaming it on different perceptions of security standards across the world.
4. US Presidential elections were marred by an act of shooting when a heated argument between Obama and Romney got out of hand. Both took out their M16’s and started shooting at each other and the audience. The audience were already dead of boredom so no harm done.
5. 2012 was landmark year in India as far as women safety was concerned. Women Safety Bill 2012 was passed in the parliament, which led to Women only Police stations and death penalty for rapists. Country saw ZERO rape cases and only handful of eve-teasing incidents this year.
6. AK series phone have made Nokia the market leader in Smart Phones. Foldable screens and Phones which could shoot better than AK47 have done the trick. “We don’t need to buy a gun for Mass Shootings, We buy Nokia instead”, said a consumer. Apple will be filing for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy during March next year. Samsung is in talk with Yahoo for a possible sellout.
7. United Nations Security Council intervens in the Julian Assange’s case. US/UK could face UN sanctions owing to gross human right violations. Wikileaks brings to light more facts that no one was aware of. “Sun rises in the East”, “Earth is round” and “Blueberry cheese cake is awesome”.
Among other news.
Chuck Norris was not able to kill two birds with one stone. Rajnikant was cited asleep. Superman wore underwear under his pants. Batman finally played cricket. Vivek Oberoi became superstar. Chacha Choudhary got beaten by new Ipad in chess. Manmohan Singh saw movie of his choice.
Walking Genius
There are times in life when we end up making fool of ourselves. One such incident happened to me lately. Made an a** of myself. I realized I am not alone. People like me walk among us. I would like to pay my respects to some such pals of mine.
PSO Padam Singh
Personal Security Officer of UP CM Mayawati, Padam Singh, bent down and wiped her dusty shoes. “I just noticed the dust on her shoes. I follow Clean India Green India campaign and wiped of the dust. What wrong have I done?”
Muammar Gaddafi
“They love me. All my people are with me. They love me all. They would die to protect me”, Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi gloated, laughing off international pressure to step down. When questioned as to how can he laugh it of, while he is slaughtering his own people, Gaddafi said, “I am just a happy person. I laugh all the time. More so since I started watching FRIENDS. Long live America!”.
S M Krishna
External Affairs Minister SM Krishna accidentally read out the Portuguese Foreign Minister’s speech at the UN.
“There was nothing wrong in it, I was just trying to learn some Portuguese”, clarified Krishna. A headline read, “Dear Krishna, all is forgiven. Don’t catch the wrong flight.”
Ratnakar Shetty
When asked whether it was unfair that only 4000 tickets would be sold to public for a game as important as the World Cup final, Shetty said the members of the clubs are also part of the “public” and so he disagrees that public is not getting any tickets.
Speechless! Well species like these are found in trio’s, lest they hurt themselves.
Haroon Lorgat
Some miscreants stoned WI team bus after Bangladesh’s shameful defeat. ICC CEO Haroon Lorgat played down the incident, calling it ‘minor’, pointing out that few individuals had thrown pebbles at the bus. This left WI team manager furious.
Bangladesh’s Cricket Board left the world further puzzled when it added that people mistook WI team bus to be Bangladesh team bus. They walk among us!
Hillary Clinton/Obama
US President Barack Obama pressurized Pakistan to treat Raymond Davis, who allegedly shot dead two men in Lahore, as a diplomat and release him. US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reportedly “forced” Pakistan to confirm the diplomatic immunity for Davis while threatening to withdraw the $1.5 billion aid.
“Life of a US citizen with per capita $48000 is way more than that of two Pakistanis with per capita $1000. It’s pure statistics”, asserted Hilary while greeting Davis back home.
Manoj Tiwari BB
Fuming over his eviction from the ‘Bigg Boss’ house, Bhojpuri star Manoj Tiwari hit back at Salman Khan and his brother Arbaaz Khan for ‘scripting’ his eviction from the controversial reality show as a part of larger ‘conspiracy’ against Bhojpuri actors
Manoj Tiwari Fan Club president Manish Kumar, along with a bunch of followers protested against Tiwari’s eviction, claiming that ‘Bigg Boss’ ‘insulted’ the 26-crore Bhojpuri community.
Your’s Truly
Incident With-hold
Dhoni Under ICC Scanner
Dhoni seems to be in the middle of yet another controversy. After the “Glove Web” fiasco and “Two and a half (2.5) Jam” hiccup, Dhoni has irated ICC once again. According to our sources, Dhoni is under investigation from ICC for the potential theft of cricketing material.
An ICC internal memo, a copy of which is present with us states, “Mr. Mahendra Singh Dhoni, captain Indian cricket team is hereby charged under Section 25.2 for stealing stumps from the field. Stumps are ICC property; hence he is in breach of ICC code of conduct.”
Sources inside ICC has told us, “Dhoni targets the middle stump which has camera and microphone attached to it. This has resulted in huge losses to our broadcasters”.
It might be recalled, Dhoni was censured by ICC for causing loss of cricket balls by hitting huge sixes out of the ground. Dhoni has curbed his aggression since, to stay away from any controversy.
ICC says Dhoni is not only involved in this gross theft but also encourages the same by his team mates. It’s has become a bloody team game.
Insiders have told us, “One who steals stumps in a match is guaranteed in playing XI, in the next.”
“Why else do you think Munaf and Yuvraj are still in the team?”
“Why else do you think Bhajji is so close to Dhoni?”
Theft of every stump is celebrated heavily. “Let’s concentrate one stump at a time. Records will be made themselves. Soon we will have 1000 stumps in our armory”, Dhoni is supposed to have boasted once.
Dhoni was enraged. “It’s not just me; every cricketer keeps stumps as a memento”. “If you win today, you lay claim to the stumps. This is my mantra to motivate the team. Media and ICC can say anything; I have support of my team.
Opposition players are aware of this. In fact some very much appreciate him. “The knack that Dhoni has for grabbing stumps is uncanny. No surprise that he is a wicketkeeper”.
BCCI has been enraged with these reports. In their press brief they contested, “Our crickets are extremely rich owing to IPL. Why would they steal if they can afford to bribe grounds men. ICC should stop being pain in the back.”
Post the media reports that it was Steve Bucknor who first reported Indian team for stealing, proof of Bucknor himself being involved with the racket has emerged. “He was unhappy with the profit sharing and hence he bitched about Indian players”, said a report.
Legendary Indian opener, Sunil Gavaskar has come out strongly in support of Indian players. He presented his own dossier on international cricketers who have been involved in such thefts from a long time. “Why is ICC silent on these people? Just because Dhoni is an Asian, it does not give ICC the right to level such serious charges”.
It seems highly unlikely that ICC will act against Indian captain and annoy the cash cow BCCI. ICC has infact designed theft proof stumps (pic below). Given its dual purpose, ICC has also tied up with clean-the-nation program run by Sharad Pawar.
IPL: Who said what, The truth
PC: Our Government is too afraid to give go ahead to IPL. Internal security, well it’s a thing of the past. Terrorist attack during IPL can cost us elections. I have been playing this cat and mouse to irritate the organizers. But these guys are too good for that and have been coming up with one schedule after another. Like I care.
Jaitley: Had we been at the Centre, we too would have done the same. But why let this opportunity to nail Congress go away.
Shashank Manohar: We have long been the pawn between the Centre and the State. We know that Govt won’t give the permission. We don’t want to waste any more time. We have a task in hand to make money. Let us concentrate on that.
Lalit Modi: I haven’t slept for over a month now. My hair look scary. My eyes look scary. My only wish was to be the strongest man in Cricket. That I am. Now to sustain that I want IPL to happen. I just wish it happens in India coz here the costs are low and I can make more money.
Security Forces: We don’t have modern equipments. We don’t have necessary man power. We don’t have guns. We don’t have ammunition. We haven’t received any credible intelligence report for long. We know we would be blamed if anything happens. Yet we are ready to give it our best. Last time when we went to save Taj, we were surprised the Durbaan didn’t stop us at the gate. I remember once going there with my family. The Durbaan didn’t let us in, sensing that we don’t have enough money. When would we be paid well, to be able to dine at Taj not die at Taj.
CPI-CPM: Blame govt, blame BJP, blame media, blame USA, blame pakistan, blame blame blame…blam blam blam…bla bla bla.
Rahul Gandhi: IPL should happen in India. It is a matter of national prestige.
Sonia Gandhi: Hush…hush. When will this child grow up. I am just fed up of him.
Manmohan Singh: I am coming straight from the operation theatre. I haven’t asked Soniyaji what to speak. Soniaji, Soniaji. Where is Soniaji?
Narendra Modi: Make me PM if you want IPL in India. If there would be no Indian Premier League (IPL), I promise you we won’t let Pakistan Premier League (PPL) to take place ever. I have decided to launch my own IPL team, Rama: The Saviours.
Pakistan: Welcome to the family. After such a long time, we stand united.
Common Man: Wow what a month. News channels kept me entertained.
IPL: Behind the Doors
Due to the rising security concern, Indian government decided not to hold IPL in India. BCCI decided to take IPL abroad. The franchise owners became apprehensive of this move and decided to pull out. According to them IPL outside India was not a profitable venture. Franchise owners Shahrukh, Preity, Mallya, Nita, Shilpa met Lalit Modi to get back the money they had already invested in IPL.
SRK: Let me speak first since I am number 1. I feel cheated, now that IPL is not taking place in India. You have fooled us all, Modi. Give me back my goddam money. And it should all be in 1 rupee coins, coz I am number 1.
Shilpa: Yes and I should be the one to get it first. I have no work. I am ageing and everybody wants me to shut up and bounce. I am fed up of all this. Even my boyfriend has this accent that everyone teases me about.
Preity: Oh! you greedy lady. I should get back the money first. Even I have no work. At least you have a boyfriend who bought the team for you. I am not even sure if I have a boyfriend anymore. I tried hitting on Yuvi but his father won’t let me anywhere near him.
Mallya: What about me, I lost in F1, I bought Gandhi belongings. I am broke. I even lost my pride having been thrashed in IPL1. I should get the money first. My yacht needs repair. Situation is so bad that I can’t even afford a drink.
Nita: Hey what about us? You know we purchased this new dining table for our new 10000 crore home and would you believe, 2 diamonds went missing. The dealer said that dining table had exactly 78 embedded diamonds when he dispatched it. Mukesh counted twice and found only 76. We should get the money first. We are in a bad shape.
Modi: Welcome you all, I haven’t slept for 20 days, haven’t eaten for 12 days, haven’t bathed for 10 days. I have become a football between State and Centre, Centre and State. I have made enough time tables to qualify as the principal of any college. Deal with Sony broke off. Govt withdrew permission to hold matches. Wife needs new jewellery. Kids want to holiday abroad. I have enough problems of my own. And you Guys come here asking for money. Paisa Paisa Paisa. Kya bas paisa hi sab kuch hai? Insaaniyat kuch nahin, pyaar kuch nahin, zameer kuch nahin… (he went on rambling for next 15 minutes)
SRK: I think he has gone mad.
Shilpa: What about my money? You shouldn’t have been so greedy Preity. It’s all because of you that he has gone mad.
Preity: So now it’s me? Why don’t you just shut up and bounce. What about Nita? Her diamonds have to go missing now only?
Nita: Mukesh is always the one with progressive thinking. We always look forward in life. What is past is past. I don’t want to talk about Anil and the spat. Its not to be discussed in public. Mukesh is always…
Mallya: She forgot again when to say what. I have asked Muskesh a lot of times not to send his wife where money is involved. Or at least ask her not to mix the lines. She think she is on TV.
SRK: Hush…hush, looks like Modi is coming back to senses. So when are we getting back our money, Mr Modi? I never wanted my captain. My captain never wanted my wicketkeeper. My wicketkeeper got injured. I myself am injured. Give me back my money.
Modi: Paisa Paisa Paisa. Kya bas paisa hi sab kuch hai, insaaniyat kuch nahin, pyaar kuch nahin, zameer kuch nahin… (he went on rambling for another 15 minutes)
Everybody: Seems like he is making a fool of us. He won’t give our money easily.
SRK: Let me show him my six pack. Isko iska rab yaad aa jaayega.
Shilpa: I will not shut up any more. Don’t let me call Raj to make you bounce Modi.
Preity: I have not forgotten the slap on my player SreeSanth. Don’t make me revenge it on you.
Mallya (took a drink): F1 asked me to leave Force India, India asked me to leave IPL, now you are asking me to leave the money. Hic! I object. Give me my money. Hic! I object.
Nita: If you don’t give me back my money, Anil will become richer than us. If he gets richer toh do baatein ho sakti hain. And since I don’t remember any of the two, give me back my money so that Anil doesn’t get richer than us.
Modi: I am fed up of you guys. I love the money. I will not give it back. I think I’ll run away to South Africa.
Everybody: Let’s follow him till we get our money back.
And they all left for South Africa.
Disclaimer: This is an art of fiction. Nothing written here should be taken seriously. It has no relation to anyone living or dead.
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