ArpitGarg's Weblog

Lie is defined by the Oxford dictionary as “to say something that you know is not true”. Going by this simple definition, it should not be very difficult to adhere to the childhood sermons of “not to lie”, should it? Your first guess might be a No, of course. But that’s not how the material world works. In fact let me be crude enough to say that we lie all our lives.

I was taught during the childhood that if you lie, you will go to hell. This in itself seems to be a lie. Have you ever been to a retail shop? “Are bhaisaab khareed kee rate de raha hoon. Do paise ka profit nahin hai isme. Isse kam doonga toh ghaate mein jaayega” (I am giving you at the purchase cost. Anything less and I will have to bear the loss). Do you really believe that the shopkeeper is telling the truth? “Khareed ki rate” (at purchase cost) Huh! He is lying all right. Given this assumption and the process of induction, hell should be one hell of a crowded place.

“A lie which does not hurt anyone, is not considered a lie” Now who the hell said that. Why did he say it? Why do we believe it? Mere rumors.

My problem is that I feel uneasy when lying. It doesn’t matter how innocent the lie is. There is this inner feeling that no one would believe me. It crept up from childhood when my parents used to take my elder sister’s word over me, always. That I used to lie most of the times, is a different matter altogether. But still they never believed my lie. Once my sister and I were playing and I broke the table lamp. When parents got home, we blamed one another. I was the one who was grounded. Tell me one thing; how the hell they knew who did really break the lamp. It was as if they disowned me. That was the feeling then. Now I know that they being parents know how to look beyond the words and through the eyes of their child. They know when the child is lying. Then again, it might be a pure guess work. Who knows?

Once you decide that you will never lie, it is bound to create social problems. Coz believe me, we live in The Matrix. People are so seasoned to hear lies all the time that the sound of truth is poison to their ears. Try telling your wife how fat she is. Just try. When parents ask their teenage child, Do you drink? Deep down they know that like all teenagers you would be trying stuff too. But it feels nice to hear. “No Pa”. They are not asking you to admit the truth. They just want you to lie. I try to avoid such questions with potential social disaster. I try and change the topic.

The most charismatic of all is the concept of witness stand in the court. They ask the witness to be sworn by Geeta to speak the truth and only the truth. All of us including Geeta herself know very well that this concept no longer holds a sacred place in our lives. Still we consider whatever a person is saying under oath, to be truth. This, when we don’t permit polygraph as evidence. Say the tests are correct 70% of the times. It would still be better than 0%. Try to understand the complexity here. By admitting whatever a person says under oath to be true and knowing that whatever he is saying is a lie, we are doing nothing but lying to ourselves.

The biggest form of a lie I believe is the one which we tell ourselves. “I will pay off the debt next month” You assure yourself by lying within. When you know there wouldn’t be any next month. It’s either today or no-day. “I can have one more drink. What’s the harm”? Deep down you know what the harm would be, but decide to convince yourself of a different truth.

Lying to others may affect your social standing and outlook of other towards you. But lying within distorts your own psyche. Sort of creates conflicting personalities. You can easily change your friends and the place you live in and do away with external sigma. However it’s not the same within. Lie to others as much as you want but try and sort out the inner truths.