ArpitGarg's Weblog

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Posts Tagged ‘bribe

Dhoni Under ICC Scanner

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Dhoni seems to be in the middle of yet another controversy. After the “Glove Web” fiasco and “Two and a half (2.5) Jam” hiccup, Dhoni has irated ICC once again. According to our sources, Dhoni is under investigation from ICC for the potential theft of cricketing material.

Controversy

An ICC internal memo, a copy of which is present with us states, “Mr. Mahendra Singh Dhoni, captain Indian cricket team is hereby charged under Section 25.2 for stealing stumps from the field. Stumps are ICC property; hence he is in breach of ICC code of conduct.”

Wicket

Sources inside ICC has told us, “Dhoni targets the middle stump which has camera and microphone attached to it. This has resulted in huge losses to our broadcasters”.

It might be recalled, Dhoni was censured by ICC for causing loss of cricket balls by hitting huge sixes out of the ground. Dhoni has curbed his aggression since, to stay away from any controversy.

ballGone

ICC says Dhoni is not only involved in this gross theft but also encourages the same by his team mates. It’s has become a bloody team game.

Team

Insiders have told us, “One who steals stumps in a match is guaranteed in playing XI, in the next.”

“Why else do you think Munaf and Yuvraj are still in the team?”

munafyuvi

“Why else do you think Bhajji is so close to Dhoni?”

bhajji

Theft of every stump is celebrated heavily. “Let’s concentrate one stump at a time. Records will be made themselves. Soon we will have 1000 stumps in our armory”, Dhoni is supposed to have boasted once.

celebrate

Dhoni was enraged. “It’s not just me; every cricketer keeps stumps as a memento”. “If you win today, you lay claim to the stumps. This is my mantra to motivate the team. Media and ICC can say anything; I have support of my team.

support

Opposition players are aware of this. In fact some very much appreciate him. “The knack that Dhoni has for grabbing stumps is uncanny. No surprise that he is a wicketkeeper”.

opposition

BCCI has been enraged with these reports. In their press brief they contested, “Our crickets are extremely rich owing to IPL. Why would they steal if they can afford to bribe grounds men. ICC should stop being pain in the back.”

pain

Post the media reports that it was Steve Bucknor who first reported Indian team for stealing, proof of Bucknor himself being involved with the racket has emerged. “He was unhappy with the profit sharing and hence he bitched about Indian players”, said a report.

bucknor

Legendary Indian opener, Sunil Gavaskar has come out strongly in support of Indian players. He presented his own dossier on international cricketers who have been involved in such thefts from a long time. “Why is ICC silent on these people? Just because Dhoni is an Asian, it does not give ICC the right to level such serious charges”.

white

It seems highly unlikely that ICC will act against Indian captain and annoy the cash cow BCCI. ICC has infact designed theft proof stumps (pic below). Given its dual purpose, ICC has also tied up with clean-the-nation program run by Sharad Pawar.

pawar

Gang Bangers

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I could not find any other title suitable to this post however coarse it may sound.

Supreme Court of India struck down the appointment of CVC PJ Thomas recently. Not just the judgment but the case in itself turned out to be a landmark one. It dealt with how to measure the integrity of a person; How the Govt. machinery can be misused to appoint personal beneficiaries to the autonomous constitutional authorities. In fact of late several murky deals from the power corridors of Delhi stood exposed bringing to light the best keep secrets of the India that is corrupt.

“28.3% MP’s have serious charges against them”, Thomas contested in court. Why was only he being unfairly targeted? I must say, I found his plea quite sound. Similar was the defense of Mr. Suresh Kalmadi. “Why don’t you question Delhi CM and Central Sports Minister? They were party to all decisions”.

Why am I alone being charged Sir, it was after all a Gang Bang.

What Thomas and Kalmadi did was a classic case of blackmailing. While Thomas pressurized legislative to support him or stand exposed, Kalmadi took his chances with Delhi CM and Central Sports Minister.

Without going into the good bad and ugly of Adarsh, CWG and 2G scam the thing that stuck me most was the collaborated loot of public money. Had this collaboration been shown in organizing CWG, it would have done some good to brand India. It’s like everyone is ganging up to plunder this country.

Having had rendezvous with functioning of bureaucracy up close, I must admit it would have been hard for Kalmadi to organize CWG without placating other authorities; difficult for Raja to remain Minister without collaborating in loot; and impossible for Chavan to survive without participating in the plunder.

In fact we are no longer averse to bribe and corruption. It’s a way of life. People teach their kids how to bribe without getting caught. “Sir, aap jaisa bolenge waisa ho jaayega”, beta aisa bolna, aadmi apne aap samajh jaayega.

It’s not just the big names which are ganging up; we too are part of the mob that is looting and plundering our nation. We are the Gang Bangers.

Indian National Congress Hand: The Origin

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Listening to the interim budget on television, my mind diverted from Pranab Mukherjee to Congress to its election symbol, the Hand. 15 minutes or so of googling and a coke later, I was still not able to find any definite story behind the Indian national congress election symbol. This led me to use my brain and come out with truth. Here it is. As transparent as it could be.

Hand covering the tri colours stood then for the coming unassuming reign of INC, in that sense Indira after the split of Congress.

Where have you seen this hand so prominently? What else could you relate with this? Guessed right. Budhha.

So is the INC hand, Buddha’s hand. Was Congress after the split based on the principles of Buddha. Was Buddha in any way the originator of the idea of Congress. Did Indira anticipated that like Buddha left the palace, Congress would have to leave Delhi, ousted by Janta Party in near future.

See the composure of the hand. It seems relaxed. It seems preaching. It seems, yes, in Aashirwaad (blessing) mode.

Is a father blessing his son. Or is it motherly compassion.

Or is it the divine blessing via Congress to the people of India? Probably.

Is it the bribing hand. Given the rampant corruption, it might be a message from the future, hinting at the coming corruption and an era of bribes.

During the emergency, was this a slap on the face of the voters. The public.

And Junta was left to do nothing but slap its own head with its hand.

During election campaign 2004-05, this was projected as a helping hand to the poor people.

Now whether the public felt it later as a pickpocket hand is a question to reckon.

I read that during the last general elections, the palm lines were changes in accordance with a palmist. So it may be a palm which carries future of the country concealed in the palm lines. Hope it be the truth.

Written by arpitgarg

February 17, 2009 at 4:32 am

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