ArpitGarg's Weblog

An opinion of the world around me

Posts Tagged ‘lie

Secret Talks

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Personal Secret is described as something that is known to the person alone and not to any of his acquaintances. Lie is defined as an intentional false statement. They both are related as one leads to another.

Everyone keep secrets. To keep them hidden, they lie. There are various reasons behind. Most common are shame, loss of money, property, love desertion, to brag etc.

I have come across people who kept some weird secrets, told wonderful lies. Some of substance, some just for fun.

1. Kyunki…shhh
A college mate leads the pack. You know how it’s common to deride the ‘Saas-Bahu’ soaps. Well this friend of mine just loved them. The situation was precarious; he couldn’t dare to them watch openly, lest he became butt of all jokes. So he used to download and watch them all alone quietly. As fate would have it, he shared the folder by mistake across the network and the skeletons came tumbling out.

2. Categorically denied
Our society has been divided into class and caste and so is the college admission process. However in some a stigma of being a category student creeps in. Treatment meted out to them could be a reason. There was a guy in our batch, who lied about the same. I won’t go further into the reasons, as the discussion is complex. But when it came out in the open, it left everyone wondering.

3. Had a boyfriend
Most common of them all! Don’t tell about having boyfriend/girlfriend and keep yourself in the market. It’s okay for causal flirting but when done to take advantage, it becomes tasteless. A girl fooled around with a friend to get him to do the academic work allotted to her, while keeping the existence of her boyfriend hidden. Here’s a fact: ‘Guys only help Single Girls’. She knew this well. I can’t say that my friend really cared or so he said later on.

4. From Upstate
We often find people hiding their birth place. Across Europe, I have found people from Pakistan calling them Indians. In Mumbai, few people from UP, Bihar fake their origin to be Delhi. Sometimes out of being scared, sometimes otherwise. A friend of mine introduced himself in the first year as a Delhite. It was only in the final year that we came to know he was from Ghaziabad. He tried to justify by citing NCR. Well reasons can be aplenty. We do still poke him for the same.

5. Opener
A senior at college related to me a funny story. During their first year, a guy told everyone that he was the highest JEE ranked student of their batch. He was called Kholu (common term for rank opener). He enjoyed the limelight for a semester, at the end of which people came to know the truth. They started calling him nakli kholu. Why he lied is still a secret as he maintained his innocence all through.

6. Open the Closet
A serious issue with our society as far as homo-sexuality goes. I have known at least two people who kept it a secret, for obvious reasons though. Hopefully, in future the social stigma attached o it will wither away and people would not have to hide in the closet.

7. Uncle Sam
A first year student who was a localitie was being ragged. He dared the seniors, “My uncle is in ULFA, stay away from me or else don’t tell me I didn’t warn you”. Needless to say, he got away. The fun was, everyone knew he was lying but no one dared to call otherwise.

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Lies Within

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Lie is defined by the Oxford dictionary as “to say something that you know is not true”. Going by this simple definition, it should not be very difficult to adhere to the childhood sermons of “not to lie”, should it? Your first guess might be a No, of course. But that’s not how the material world works. In fact let me be crude enough to say that we lie all our lives.

I was taught during the childhood that if you lie, you will go to hell. This in itself seems to be a lie. Have you ever been to a retail shop? “Are bhaisaab khareed kee rate de raha hoon. Do paise ka profit nahin hai isme. Isse kam doonga toh ghaate mein jaayega” (I am giving you at the purchase cost. Anything less and I will have to bear the loss). Do you really believe that the shopkeeper is telling the truth? “Khareed ki rate” (at purchase cost) Huh! He is lying all right. Given this assumption and the process of induction, hell should be one hell of a crowded place.

“A lie which does not hurt anyone, is not considered a lie” Now who the hell said that. Why did he say it? Why do we believe it? Mere rumors.

My problem is that I feel uneasy when lying. It doesn’t matter how innocent the lie is. There is this inner feeling that no one would believe me. It crept up from childhood when my parents used to take my elder sister’s word over me, always. That I used to lie most of the times, is a different matter altogether. But still they never believed my lie. Once my sister and I were playing and I broke the table lamp. When parents got home, we blamed one another. I was the one who was grounded. Tell me one thing; how the hell they knew who did really break the lamp. It was as if they disowned me. That was the feeling then. Now I know that they being parents know how to look beyond the words and through the eyes of their child. They know when the child is lying. Then again, it might be a pure guess work. Who knows?

Once you decide that you will never lie, it is bound to create social problems. Coz believe me, we live in The Matrix. People are so seasoned to hear lies all the time that the sound of truth is poison to their ears. Try telling your wife how fat she is. Just try. When parents ask their teenage child, Do you drink? Deep down they know that like all teenagers you would be trying stuff too. But it feels nice to hear. “No Pa”. They are not asking you to admit the truth. They just want you to lie. I try to avoid such questions with potential social disaster. I try and change the topic.

The most charismatic of all is the concept of witness stand in the court. They ask the witness to be sworn by Geeta to speak the truth and only the truth. All of us including Geeta herself know very well that this concept no longer holds a sacred place in our lives. Still we consider whatever a person is saying under oath, to be truth. This, when we don’t permit polygraph as evidence. Say the tests are correct 70% of the times. It would still be better than 0%. Try to understand the complexity here. By admitting whatever a person says under oath to be true and knowing that whatever he is saying is a lie, we are doing nothing but lying to ourselves.

The biggest form of a lie I believe is the one which we tell ourselves. “I will pay off the debt next month” You assure yourself by lying within. When you know there wouldn’t be any next month. It’s either today or no-day. “I can have one more drink. What’s the harm”? Deep down you know what the harm would be, but decide to convince yourself of a different truth.

Lying to others may affect your social standing and outlook of other towards you. But lying within distorts your own psyche. Sort of creates conflicting personalities. You can easily change your friends and the place you live in and do away with external sigma. However it’s not the same within. Lie to others as much as you want but try and sort out the inner truths.

Written by arpitgarg

June 29, 2010 at 11:20 pm

Interviews@IIT

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The placement season is almost over at IIT Guwahati. Most of the batch has been placed and placed well.

I sat for about 5 written tests and was selected for 3 personal interviews. Job interviews are a bit different than what I have had before. They are not of NTSE type or for some scholarship or internship. They are there to define your career. The pressure they bring with them is intense for sure. No matter how cool you are they do affect you. I have seen the coolest guys of my batch jittering before interviews.

First thing first, you have to be good at your subject. No doubt about that. It’s only if you know your subject well, you will be able to qualify for PI (short listed on the basis of written test). Frankly speaking the interviewers, most of them, are not from an IIT (baring a few top notch companies like Microsoft, Google, Yahoo etc). They also are in awe of us most of the times. Also for most of them its 2nd or 3rd time that they are interviewing someone at IIT (again baring a few who are quite experienced).

What I felt is that the fear of losing out on a good job, often make us under perform. Go in as you have nothing to lose. Those who have done that have succeeded for sure.

Let me cite a few examples to prevent this blog from becoming a boring sermon.

1. A friend of mine was selected for 3rd round of Microsoft (after 2 written rounds). He was given a problem very simple on the face of it. I don’t remember it exactly but it was comparable to a tree traversal problem. He had to write the working code for it (yes they do ask to write working code on the spot, at least Microsoft and Google do). He wrote the code. The interviewer looked at it and asked him to point out the bugs in the same code and report them. He found a couple of them. He was however not selected coz he didn’t write the base case. He knew it all along but thought it would not matter to the interviewer. Plz try not to think what the interviewer would want from you. Instead try to show him what you know.

2. Interviews are there to test what you know and not for testing what you don’t know. Just keep this in mind.

3. Never try and lie in an interview about any question be it tech or HR. Speak the truth, however bitter it may be. Truth needs no backup. Lies do. Interviews are often quite smart to catch your lie and can grill you over it. Any company would prefer a less competent employee to a one who lies). For ex. in the HR round of Lehman they asked me had I written CAT. I told them yes. So what’s the score? I told them I hadn’t checked as I didn’t want to check. I had no plans for an MBA. They further grilled me as to why I had written CAT in first place. I told them there was no reason why not to. Most of you would not have liked my answers but I spoke the truth and fared well.

4. Be straight forward. They asked me again why I don’t want to do an MBA right now. I was fed up and told them why do they want me do an MBA. If they want an MBA then why aren’t they going to an IIM, what are they doing at IIT, in the first place? Don’t be shy to speak your mind. Though I knew that they wanted to be sure, I would not be leaving for an MBA soon.

This blog is becoming quite huge. I will cut it short here. Will write again with some more insights.

TC
Arpit

Written by arpitgarg

February 15, 2008 at 12:33 pm

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