Posts Tagged ‘relationship’
Ek Main Aur Ek Tu: Seriously!
Recently I saw Ek Main Aur Ek Tu (EMAET) featuring Imran (Rahul) and Kareena (Riana). It was tad slow but a good time pass. The movie was meandering towards an expected finale when the director decided to surprise us. Under the pretext of mature ending, Rahul and Riana decided to be Just Friends.
I couldn’t help but LOL literally. How do people let themselves be manipulated like this? Rahul was happy with his life at the end. He was fine with continuing his friendship in the hope of she agreeing to marriage someday. I have serious issues with people who use this Just Friends after egging the other person on. I have further issues with guys/girls who let themselves into this honey trap.
What I hate is Friendship being insulted, which for me is one of the most sacred relationships. If it’s Friendship, it should not be affected by gender. Right? A friend can be a guy or a girl; one should have similar dedication and feeling towards him/her if they are just friends. Agreed? However most of the people never stick to it. The least they can do is be honest about it.
“He took me out for dinner to Taj last night. He is just a friend of mine”. Huh! First of all there are no free lunches dear. Would he have taken a male friend of his to an equally lavish dinner at Taj? Everyone knows the answer. Stop justifying and just admit that you too were leading on.
In EMAET, Rahul is highly ignorant, or we can say he is too blind in love. He is happy at that very moment coz the girl he loves is there to give him company and he hopes that she will marry him someday. What he doesn’t understand is that Riana has specifically explained her position of being Just Friends. Hence she has no commitment and she needs to give no reason for the break-up. What would happen if one day Riana comes and says, “Hi Rahul meet my boyfriend James”. She would have committed no sin, after all she had already told him that they are nothing more than friends and that’s that.
What would happen to Rahul then? He will be devastated. During a breakup, at least you get to know a reason, you argue, fight and split. Here it’s simple plain stupidity. He won’t even be able to ask Why? This is what happens when a guy who has never been in a relationship gets smitten by a girl who has been in string of relationships and vice-versa. To top of it, throw in Just Friends and you being blind in love try to live in the moment and accept it.
It was one of the silliest ending I could have imagined. In real life, guys like Rahul deserve all the pain and agony they face, coz they are that stupid. He should have moved on when he had a fight. If he decided to be just friend, he should have quashed all hopes of the marriage, started afresh.
Anyways for me the ending turned out to be fun and I had a good days’ laugh. Also it gave me a topic to write about.
Is it really the change?
“Post marriage everything changes. People change. Things which were once liked become irritating. The childishness which used to be kinky turns into advice of getting matured. Promises get broken, love dissipates. Pillows which were used for fights start defining the boundaries. Relationship becomes sour.”
We all would have heard such lines, haven’t we? What’s the story behind? I don’t believe that core of a person can change after a certain age. During the formative years yes, but not post that. So what’s this change that people talk about?
Sometimes expectations on which a relationship is built are not met post marriage leading to the issues. Broadly speaking there are two types of love. Based on Thrust and Based on Trust. Let’s take them one by one.
Love Based on Thrust
When we meet somebody, find the person attractive, we try to woo him/her. Boys would laugh at girls’ jokes, no matter how pathetic they are. They would go all out to make her believe they are they for her no matter what. The gifts, the roses, the promises are all thrusted in to design a make believe world of dreams. Never was the laughter real, never was the care from the heart, never did the gifts hold any meaning, never were the promises made to be kept.
Girls would meet boys all dressed up, looking attractive. Would portray that she likes him just the way he is, with all the goods and ills. Possessiveness is considered to be endless love. When he spends loads of money, she likes it. Later the dressing up stops. She starts to dislike the ills which she never liked in the first place. The possessiveness becomes engulfing and unbearable. The guy is just a spendthrift now.
Love Based on Trust
Love based on trust is a bit tricky. Mostly this is without any explicit proposal. It takes time. Often there was no great initial kick. Never was a need to impress, no pressure to be presentable. No pretentions, nothing. There were no promises made under false pretext to be broken. All gifts had some meaning. The laughter was real, the zeal was real. Everything was shared without fear. Neither of them pretended and hence no change perceived later.
Basically it’s not the change; it’s just that the real person comes to fore, which is never rosy. Be true to one and to each other. Remove that extra ‘h’ from thrust and have some trust.
A Mad Kitten
Gibberishing
There are times when we wake up to that recurring nightmare. We hope it to be the last one. But alas! It comes back. Similar are the bad habits. However hard we try, they keep hanging onto us.
One such habit that I have tried to shed, with little success is ‘talking too much’. I have dealt with short temper, emotional outburst, butt-booze successfully over the years. But I have no reasonable explanation for my tongue.
I have faced losses at academics, work and personal life alike due to my gibberish. Mind needs time to think, channelize thoughts and come out with something reasonable. But when one talks a lot, rubbish comes out, as mind has no time for processing.
People stop giving importance to what you have to say, considering the huge volumes. Over time you become like background music. You are an irritant, hindering the foreground processes.
Your relationships too take a hitting. You lock in most time for what you have to say and less time for listening to the other person. One needs a partner one could talk to. No one needs to be with a J L Baird, one way relay.
One speaks so as to express the existence of oneself, but eventually ends up being non-existent. Irony!
If you are also the one who talks a lot, now is the time to rein in. I won’t list ‘n’ points towards improvement as I am still struggling with it. If you have any advice, do let me know. It’s time to give our tongue taste of its own medicine.
An Ode to Girls: Eat Pao not Bhao
“Nahin yaar kal time nahin hai. Some other time”, she would say over the phone. And then giggle away to her friend. “Thoda bhaav khana zaroori hai. Dekh ab kaise peeche peeche aata hai”.
This is the fundamental problems with girls that I never have been comfortable with. This might work with the vella guys who have no work and are just fishing around. With guys who have a professional life and that to a busy one, such tactics are bound to backfire.
There have to be an equal participation in a relationship even to start it off. Working guys have very less time during weekdays and sometimes weekends are busy too. So if you squander away the meeting just for the fun of it, to entice him, to tease him. There might not be a second one. Life moves on and so would he.
If you feel interested in him, there is no point squandering the meeting. If you want to play ‘hard to get’, there are other tactics to apply. Make him wait at the dinner. Guys have no problem in waiting, even for hours. They would never complain; you would find them sipping coffee and happy when you finally arrive. You can take calls a number of times when with him. You can seem disinterested in all the crap that he is shooting off. That’s all fine.
The bottom line is you have to be there. For most of the guys, out of sight is out of mind. The phone calls, the messages, are fine up to some time. After that it gives a feeling that you are too hard to get and if the guy has his work too in mind, he will wither away. Chase how much you might then, it would be of no help.
So if you find a guy for whom you feel positive vibes and butterflies. It’s better not to play too hard. Spend time together. Be there in sight. Coz obviously if you think he is not up to, you can any day break it off.
College: A place to make friends
I completed my graduation recently and have taken up a job. The transition phase of life is as complicated as it is exciting. It’s not as if, I had to move for the first time. It’s just that the four years at college imparts stability and in that sense a settling feeling to life. Moving away from the cozy spaces of college to the material world is not as easy as it sounds. It’s not just the college and the hostel room you are leaving behind, it’s far more complicated than that.
At college you begin as a fresher, go through various facets of life, learn zillion things or as they say mature. During the first year you meet a lot of people. Slowly and steadily you find your own comfort space and the people who you are comfortable with. We call them friends. You live a lot of lives with them; you die a lot of deaths with them.
There are times when you are happy and you party with friends. There is time when you all plan a mischief and execute it nervously and then it becomes a routine. They are the people who, even if screw you, you share a laugh with them on your being screwed. The first time when you were holding a drink and you hands were shaking, there were friends who too had shaky hands but gave you a zillion fundas and spoiled you and got spoilt in return. You shared the first smoke with them and had GD over the first adult film you saw. They consoled you when you were down. They carried you on their shoulders when you a bit a too drunk. You shared each and every secret of your life with them. They were your teachers, they were your students. This can go on endlessly.
All of these are not things that one can just brush aside. They remain an integral part of memory which remains etched in forever. A lot has been written over friendship and a lot would be written in future. For me it’s one of the strongest relationships in life. There are times when it goes sour. But when you are in deep trouble you know that there are friends you can bank upon. This for me sums it up.
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