ArpitGarg's Weblog

An opinion of the world around me

Posts Tagged ‘kolkata

Cardinal Sin and The Twisted Ankle

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After a tiring day in Kolkata, me and a friend of mine decided to catch the late night show of Once upon a Time in Mumbai Dobara. We enquired about a theatre near our hotel and caught a ride.

I was standing in the ticket queue when something caught my eye. I don’t really know what it was, Was it the Smile, Was it the Innocence, Was it the Eyes, Was it the Dress. I just kept looking unaware of the world. There was this girl in green, with the Smile that puts Mona Lisa to shame, with the Innocence that defies this world, with the Eyes that penetrates the heart. It took me a while to realize she was with a guy and took a while more to realize that she was recently married, given the prominent Mehandi on her hands.

She was ahead of me in the queue, I bought the tickets and went inside. I lined up to buy some popcorn and there she was again, in the same queue. I was struggling hard not to gaze at her, given the consequences that could result in. The movie ended sometime later. I caught a glimpse of her during the interval. She was not just with her husband, but with full family.

Show got over at around 2 in the night. I strolled to the exit. There she was with her family. Perhaps my last chance to look at her. My friend had stopped a taxi and called out to me. I walked towards the taxi but kept looking sideways gazing her.

Just then I felt a jolt and fell down with an excruciating pain. I hadn’t noticed that I was crossing over from high footpath on to a low road. I had mis-stepped and badly twisted my ankle. I saw her getting into a car and fading away. For moment the pain stopped along with the time. As she went away the pain came back and I could see my friend bent over laughing.

If she was Eve, I just paid my dues for the Cardinal sin of Lust.

Written by arpitgarg

August 19, 2013 at 3:54 pm

Freebies are Fishy: The lure of the missing handle

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I have always been taught, if you are getting a good bargain, be cautious. There is nothing like free lunches. An advertisement by a leading telecom operator goes like, “It feels good when you get something extra”. I couldn’t agree more. But it is this good feeling that shrouds our judgment and tricks us.

More often than not you will find the devil disguised as an angel to lure you. If something seems too good, take extra precautions. There is a good chance that it will bite you.

This weekend I was in Kolkata for some urgent matter. I was to take an early morning flight back. As it happened, I twisted my ankle and was in no shape to reach the airport without help. A friend of mine, who was leaving the night before, dropped me at the airport in night itself. So I was there at airport at 12 am for a 6 am flight.

Slowly the exhaustion started to get better of me and I felt like lying down. There are no recliners like T3 at Kolkata airport, just a stack of chairs with separating handles. There is no way you can combine chairs to make a bed (have been my habit since college days, whenever I worked late in lab/office).

Something magical happened next or so I thought! Even with my twisted ankle and drowsy mind, I was able to notice an abnormality amidst one stack of chairs. One of the separating handle was not there. It combined two chairs. I galloped over there and was thrilled. I lied down. Peace. I remember before falling asleep, few people coming over to figure out how I managed to lie down and also remember their begrudged faces when they realized it’s by sheer luck. And so I slept.

Sleep I tell you is the sweetest thing, at the same time it can be the damnest. I slept and slept and slept. By some quirk of fate, I woke up and checked the time. Was it 5:35 already? Or was it a dream? No it was real. I was about to miss my flight. With my broken leg, I ran to collect my boarding pass. I was the last one. They took pity on me coz of my leg. I breezed through the security check and ran towards the boarding gate. Last and final call was going on for last 10 mins. Excited, I failed to locate the boarding gate. Trouble! I was on the wrong floor. I took the escalator down and skidded to the gate. It seemed so far away! Someone from the airlines staff realized my sorry state and came over to assist me. I was the last one to board.

Had it been 15-20 mins more of sleep, I would have missed my flight. Given my budget constraints of late, it wouldn’t have been a good thing.

Anyways the devil disguised as the lone missing handle lured me in and had almost had me. Next time when you feel special, beware! Someone might just have dialed 666.

Written by arpitgarg

August 19, 2013 at 1:16 pm

IPL: Behind the Doors

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Due to the rising security concern, Indian government decided not to hold IPL in India. BCCI decided to take IPL abroad. The franchise owners became apprehensive of this move and decided to pull out. According to them IPL outside India was not a profitable venture. Franchise owners Shahrukh, Preity, Mallya, Nita, Shilpa met Lalit Modi to get back the money they had already invested in IPL.

SRK: Let me speak first since I am number 1. I feel cheated, now that IPL is not taking place in India. You have fooled us all, Modi. Give me back my goddam money. And it should all be in 1 rupee coins, coz I am number 1.

Shilpa: Yes and I should be the one to get it first. I have no work. I am ageing and everybody wants me to shut up and bounce. I am fed up of all this. Even my boyfriend has this accent that everyone teases me about.

Preity: Oh! you greedy lady. I should get back the money first. Even I have no work. At least you have a boyfriend who bought the team for you. I am not even sure if I have a boyfriend anymore. I tried hitting on Yuvi but his father won’t let me anywhere near him.

Mallya: What about me, I lost in F1, I bought Gandhi belongings. I am broke. I even lost my pride having been thrashed in IPL1. I should get the money first. My yacht needs repair. Situation is so bad that I can’t even afford a drink.

Nita: Hey what about us? You know we purchased this new dining table for our new 10000 crore home and would you believe, 2 diamonds went missing. The dealer said that dining table had exactly 78 embedded diamonds when he dispatched it. Mukesh counted twice and found only 76. We should get the money first. We are in a bad shape.

Modi: Welcome you all, I haven’t slept for 20 days, haven’t eaten for 12 days, haven’t bathed for 10 days. I have become a football between State and Centre, Centre and State. I have made enough time tables to qualify as the principal of any college. Deal with Sony broke off. Govt withdrew permission to hold matches. Wife needs new jewellery. Kids want to holiday abroad. I have enough problems of my own. And you Guys come here asking for money. Paisa Paisa Paisa. Kya bas paisa hi sab kuch hai? Insaaniyat kuch nahin, pyaar kuch nahin, zameer kuch nahin… (he went on rambling for next 15 minutes)

SRK: I think he has gone mad.

Shilpa: What about my money? You shouldn’t have been so greedy Preity. It’s all because of you that he has gone mad.

Preity: So now it’s me? Why don’t you just shut up and bounce. What about Nita? Her diamonds have to go missing now only?

Nita: Mukesh is always the one with progressive thinking. We always look forward in life. What is past is past. I don’t want to talk about Anil and the spat. Its not to be discussed in public. Mukesh is always…

Mallya: She forgot again when to say what. I have asked Muskesh a lot of times not to send his wife where money is involved. Or at least ask her not to mix the lines. She think she is on TV.

SRK: Hush…hush, looks like Modi is coming back to senses. So when are we getting back our money, Mr Modi? I never wanted my captain. My captain never wanted my wicketkeeper. My wicketkeeper got injured. I myself am injured. Give me back my money.

Modi: Paisa Paisa Paisa. Kya bas paisa hi sab kuch hai, insaaniyat kuch nahin, pyaar kuch nahin, zameer kuch nahin… (he went on rambling for another 15 minutes)

Everybody: Seems like he is making a fool of us. He won’t give our money easily.

SRK: Let me show him my six pack. Isko iska rab yaad aa jaayega.

Shilpa: I will not shut up any more. Don’t let me call Raj to make you bounce Modi.

Preity: I have not forgotten the slap on my player SreeSanth. Don’t make me revenge it on you.

Mallya (took a drink): F1 asked me to leave Force India, India asked me to leave IPL, now you are asking me to leave the money. Hic! I object. Give me my money. Hic! I object.

Nita: If you don’t give me back my money, Anil will become richer than us. If he gets richer toh do baatein ho sakti hain. And since I don’t remember any of the two, give me back my money so that Anil doesn’t get richer than us.

Modi: I am fed up of you guys. I love the money. I will not give it back. I think I’ll run away to South Africa.

Everybody: Let’s follow him till we get our money back.

And they all left for South Africa.

Disclaimer: This is an art of fiction. Nothing written here should be taken seriously. It has no relation to anyone living or dead.

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