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Posts Tagged ‘yuvraj

Happiness is Strange

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To be honest I have had my fair share of happiness in life. Still it remains one such emotion which I have not been able to comprehend; at least the reaction to it has been an enigma to me.

Emotions and facial expressions follow each other. Sadness make the face look gloomy; fighting hard to not let the tears out, we can see lines on the face; during anger, the tension on the forehead can be detected.

But when it comes to happiness, people deal with it in their own strange ways.

Excitement Excitement: One jumps up and down. Runs around. May be to attract attention and let others know about the happiness. Or to get exhausted with all the physical exercise so as to die the excitement down.

Smile Mona Lisa: Simple smile. Blood rushes to the cheeks making them pink. The face is beaming.

LOL Laugh-out-Loud: This facebook lingo is something which a lot of people actually practice. Sudden bout of happiness. A joke perhaps. Little force on a small surface creates extreme pressure. Similarly a sudden happiness may create hysterical laughter.

High Five High Fives: Joy of victory. High fives, fists thrown up and down. This is a happiness of accomplishment. Win a war, win a game. Your face shows determination. Your face might not have a smile, but you are happy within.

Peace Peace: The face shows relief. You are happy to achieve something after a lasting struggle. Happy that that the struggle is over. After an exhaustive soccer match ending in a tie. Soldier who has been on warfront from a long time, on hearing of the truce.

Tears Tears: Here is where it gets murky. People cry when happy. How often we seen people crying on receiving an award? This pertains to getting our due after a huge effort. Tears of happiness. Strange. Isn’t it?

Dhoni Under ICC Scanner

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Dhoni seems to be in the middle of yet another controversy. After the “Glove Web” fiasco and “Two and a half (2.5) Jam” hiccup, Dhoni has irated ICC once again. According to our sources, Dhoni is under investigation from ICC for the potential theft of cricketing material.

Controversy

An ICC internal memo, a copy of which is present with us states, “Mr. Mahendra Singh Dhoni, captain Indian cricket team is hereby charged under Section 25.2 for stealing stumps from the field. Stumps are ICC property; hence he is in breach of ICC code of conduct.”

Wicket

Sources inside ICC has told us, “Dhoni targets the middle stump which has camera and microphone attached to it. This has resulted in huge losses to our broadcasters”.

It might be recalled, Dhoni was censured by ICC for causing loss of cricket balls by hitting huge sixes out of the ground. Dhoni has curbed his aggression since, to stay away from any controversy.

ballGone

ICC says Dhoni is not only involved in this gross theft but also encourages the same by his team mates. It’s has become a bloody team game.

Team

Insiders have told us, “One who steals stumps in a match is guaranteed in playing XI, in the next.”

“Why else do you think Munaf and Yuvraj are still in the team?”

munafyuvi

“Why else do you think Bhajji is so close to Dhoni?”

bhajji

Theft of every stump is celebrated heavily. “Let’s concentrate one stump at a time. Records will be made themselves. Soon we will have 1000 stumps in our armory”, Dhoni is supposed to have boasted once.

celebrate

Dhoni was enraged. “It’s not just me; every cricketer keeps stumps as a memento”. “If you win today, you lay claim to the stumps. This is my mantra to motivate the team. Media and ICC can say anything; I have support of my team.

support

Opposition players are aware of this. In fact some very much appreciate him. “The knack that Dhoni has for grabbing stumps is uncanny. No surprise that he is a wicketkeeper”.

opposition

BCCI has been enraged with these reports. In their press brief they contested, “Our crickets are extremely rich owing to IPL. Why would they steal if they can afford to bribe grounds men. ICC should stop being pain in the back.”

pain

Post the media reports that it was Steve Bucknor who first reported Indian team for stealing, proof of Bucknor himself being involved with the racket has emerged. “He was unhappy with the profit sharing and hence he bitched about Indian players”, said a report.

bucknor

Legendary Indian opener, Sunil Gavaskar has come out strongly in support of Indian players. He presented his own dossier on international cricketers who have been involved in such thefts from a long time. “Why is ICC silent on these people? Just because Dhoni is an Asian, it does not give ICC the right to level such serious charges”.

white

It seems highly unlikely that ICC will act against Indian captain and annoy the cash cow BCCI. ICC has infact designed theft proof stumps (pic below). Given its dual purpose, ICC has also tied up with clean-the-nation program run by Sharad Pawar.

pawar

IPL: Behind the Doors

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Due to the rising security concern, Indian government decided not to hold IPL in India. BCCI decided to take IPL abroad. The franchise owners became apprehensive of this move and decided to pull out. According to them IPL outside India was not a profitable venture. Franchise owners Shahrukh, Preity, Mallya, Nita, Shilpa met Lalit Modi to get back the money they had already invested in IPL.

SRK: Let me speak first since I am number 1. I feel cheated, now that IPL is not taking place in India. You have fooled us all, Modi. Give me back my goddam money. And it should all be in 1 rupee coins, coz I am number 1.

Shilpa: Yes and I should be the one to get it first. I have no work. I am ageing and everybody wants me to shut up and bounce. I am fed up of all this. Even my boyfriend has this accent that everyone teases me about.

Preity: Oh! you greedy lady. I should get back the money first. Even I have no work. At least you have a boyfriend who bought the team for you. I am not even sure if I have a boyfriend anymore. I tried hitting on Yuvi but his father won’t let me anywhere near him.

Mallya: What about me, I lost in F1, I bought Gandhi belongings. I am broke. I even lost my pride having been thrashed in IPL1. I should get the money first. My yacht needs repair. Situation is so bad that I can’t even afford a drink.

Nita: Hey what about us? You know we purchased this new dining table for our new 10000 crore home and would you believe, 2 diamonds went missing. The dealer said that dining table had exactly 78 embedded diamonds when he dispatched it. Mukesh counted twice and found only 76. We should get the money first. We are in a bad shape.

Modi: Welcome you all, I haven’t slept for 20 days, haven’t eaten for 12 days, haven’t bathed for 10 days. I have become a football between State and Centre, Centre and State. I have made enough time tables to qualify as the principal of any college. Deal with Sony broke off. Govt withdrew permission to hold matches. Wife needs new jewellery. Kids want to holiday abroad. I have enough problems of my own. And you Guys come here asking for money. Paisa Paisa Paisa. Kya bas paisa hi sab kuch hai? Insaaniyat kuch nahin, pyaar kuch nahin, zameer kuch nahin… (he went on rambling for next 15 minutes)

SRK: I think he has gone mad.

Shilpa: What about my money? You shouldn’t have been so greedy Preity. It’s all because of you that he has gone mad.

Preity: So now it’s me? Why don’t you just shut up and bounce. What about Nita? Her diamonds have to go missing now only?

Nita: Mukesh is always the one with progressive thinking. We always look forward in life. What is past is past. I don’t want to talk about Anil and the spat. Its not to be discussed in public. Mukesh is always…

Mallya: She forgot again when to say what. I have asked Muskesh a lot of times not to send his wife where money is involved. Or at least ask her not to mix the lines. She think she is on TV.

SRK: Hush…hush, looks like Modi is coming back to senses. So when are we getting back our money, Mr Modi? I never wanted my captain. My captain never wanted my wicketkeeper. My wicketkeeper got injured. I myself am injured. Give me back my money.

Modi: Paisa Paisa Paisa. Kya bas paisa hi sab kuch hai, insaaniyat kuch nahin, pyaar kuch nahin, zameer kuch nahin… (he went on rambling for another 15 minutes)

Everybody: Seems like he is making a fool of us. He won’t give our money easily.

SRK: Let me show him my six pack. Isko iska rab yaad aa jaayega.

Shilpa: I will not shut up any more. Don’t let me call Raj to make you bounce Modi.

Preity: I have not forgotten the slap on my player SreeSanth. Don’t make me revenge it on you.

Mallya (took a drink): F1 asked me to leave Force India, India asked me to leave IPL, now you are asking me to leave the money. Hic! I object. Give me my money. Hic! I object.

Nita: If you don’t give me back my money, Anil will become richer than us. If he gets richer toh do baatein ho sakti hain. And since I don’t remember any of the two, give me back my money so that Anil doesn’t get richer than us.

Modi: I am fed up of you guys. I love the money. I will not give it back. I think I’ll run away to South Africa.

Everybody: Let’s follow him till we get our money back.

And they all left for South Africa.

Disclaimer: This is an art of fiction. Nothing written here should be taken seriously. It has no relation to anyone living or dead.

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