Posts Tagged ‘ipl’
Why this years IPL has been the most open ever
We are at the fag end of IPL and still the top four are not decided. Even the table toppers can still get eliminated with just two games left to play. Have all the teams suddenly started competing or have all become equally bad?
Well the answer is not as straight forward. It lies in the end of Srinivasan era. Srini, a master at quid pro quo. He knew how to keep people happy and keep them shut up. Ever since he grew in stature in BCCI and bagged the IPL team, courtesy Pawar power, he kept Chennai Team head and shoulder above the rest. How? Well there have been auctions after auctions after the first one. Remember the 4 player retainer rule; it was there as Srini had a good team. Had his team ended bottom of table first 3 IPL, do you imagine the retainer rule ever being there.
Then during subsequent auctions, players that Chennai wanted were put in later rounds of auction, as by then others have lost their purse. Everybody knew that, some raised their voices, none listened. There were these small things that added to Chennai Superpower and never let it diminish.
Who would take Srini on? Even Subroto Sahara was helpless and had to exit IPL.
An open IPL bodes well for the tournament. I wish it remain that way in future. But given the ills of BCCI I suspect some other Srini to emerge from the gravel.
The Day the Earth stood still
1996 was year that marked my generations tryst with cricket. Kirsten’s 188; Jayasurya’s revelations; Indo/Pak Q/F; the Eden heartbreak. It was a roller coaster ride of emotions. It had all, save the Heroic ending. The script seemed flawed; a job left unfinished.
Post ’98 Sharjah exploits, the team fell apart under the match fixing allegations. We were no longer a force in the world cricket. Two of the most controversial figures of Indian cricketing history the Raja and the Senapati fell and gave way to yet another controversial figure of all times. Though his were the controversies we took pride in.
Eden curse was cured by a Lanky personality who gave us reasons to be proud of. The high moon, the tide, the ebbs, the flows all became but adjectives when the cricketing history was re-written. A giant was born. The journey culminated in Jo ’burg when the mighty batting lineup was but a step away from laying its claim.
Albeit, that was not to be. Undone by a legend from down under, it paved way to of one of the most hate-filled cricketing rivalry. The Sydney fiasco was just waiting to happen. It turned out to be the Pearl Harbor of Indian cricket. We have never looked back since. The zeal, the aggression, the will has never been higher. Post 3 IPL’s, high dose of Indo-SL matches and a resurrection of The God of Cricket, it’s time to cross the final hurdle.
The SF match between Indo-Pak, was the most anticipated and followed match in the history of cricket. Everything was to its maximum. Imagine anti-aircraft guns around the stadium! I travelled from Mumbai to Pune to celebrate the festival with friends. With Holi/Diwali/Ganesh Pooja being celebrated with varying vigor across the country, the festival of cricket is the only one which whole nation celebrates equally.
The scenes I saw in Pune were unparalleled. The roads were jammed post the win. I could see thousands of bikes/cars/tempo/buses parading round the city. Flags/colors/sweets aplenty. The whole city was one. It was the day for no hatred.
On field/off field the camaraderie between the two nations was a sight to behold. The old sins were washed off. The 26/11 seemed a distant memory. One match turned the hostile relations between two nations onto its head, into Aman Ki Fuhaar.
My feet were trembling and emotions flowing unrestrained. It was day when 1/5th of humanity gasped in unison, It was a day when the Earth stood still.
Dhoni Under ICC Scanner
Dhoni seems to be in the middle of yet another controversy. After the “Glove Web” fiasco and “Two and a half (2.5) Jam” hiccup, Dhoni has irated ICC once again. According to our sources, Dhoni is under investigation from ICC for the potential theft of cricketing material.
An ICC internal memo, a copy of which is present with us states, “Mr. Mahendra Singh Dhoni, captain Indian cricket team is hereby charged under Section 25.2 for stealing stumps from the field. Stumps are ICC property; hence he is in breach of ICC code of conduct.”
Sources inside ICC has told us, “Dhoni targets the middle stump which has camera and microphone attached to it. This has resulted in huge losses to our broadcasters”.
It might be recalled, Dhoni was censured by ICC for causing loss of cricket balls by hitting huge sixes out of the ground. Dhoni has curbed his aggression since, to stay away from any controversy.
ICC says Dhoni is not only involved in this gross theft but also encourages the same by his team mates. It’s has become a bloody team game.
Insiders have told us, “One who steals stumps in a match is guaranteed in playing XI, in the next.”
“Why else do you think Munaf and Yuvraj are still in the team?”
“Why else do you think Bhajji is so close to Dhoni?”
Theft of every stump is celebrated heavily. “Let’s concentrate one stump at a time. Records will be made themselves. Soon we will have 1000 stumps in our armory”, Dhoni is supposed to have boasted once.
Dhoni was enraged. “It’s not just me; every cricketer keeps stumps as a memento”. “If you win today, you lay claim to the stumps. This is my mantra to motivate the team. Media and ICC can say anything; I have support of my team.
Opposition players are aware of this. In fact some very much appreciate him. “The knack that Dhoni has for grabbing stumps is uncanny. No surprise that he is a wicketkeeper”.
BCCI has been enraged with these reports. In their press brief they contested, “Our crickets are extremely rich owing to IPL. Why would they steal if they can afford to bribe grounds men. ICC should stop being pain in the back.”
Post the media reports that it was Steve Bucknor who first reported Indian team for stealing, proof of Bucknor himself being involved with the racket has emerged. “He was unhappy with the profit sharing and hence he bitched about Indian players”, said a report.
Legendary Indian opener, Sunil Gavaskar has come out strongly in support of Indian players. He presented his own dossier on international cricketers who have been involved in such thefts from a long time. “Why is ICC silent on these people? Just because Dhoni is an Asian, it does not give ICC the right to level such serious charges”.
It seems highly unlikely that ICC will act against Indian captain and annoy the cash cow BCCI. ICC has infact designed theft proof stumps (pic below). Given its dual purpose, ICC has also tied up with clean-the-nation program run by Sharad Pawar.
The IPL Team that wasn’t
IPL auctions, held recently grabbed everyone’s attention. With millions of dollars floating around, it turned out to be a landmark event. Not everyone seemed happy though. Some politicians were enraged by the amount of wealth at display. “It’s pathetic”, said one. Its gross” said another. “Why were we left out from earning the moolah. It’s wrong”. “Let’s form a team and enter the IPL. Let’s rename it the Indian Political League”, came one suggestion. “Yes, let’s do it”, they gave a Spartan cry. We will show who the real boss is when it comes to earning monies.
“From next time on Mr. A. Raja will be the auctioneer given his huge experience with 2G auctions”, they passed a resolution. “All those who want to bid for someone at a cheaper cost, pay me 20%, I will bring down the hammer. I am the 1st, 2nd and the third umpire”, Raja promised. Point well taken!
The team was called, “Indian Commoners”, given the “aam aadmi” thing is in vogue. The team is as below.
1. Suresh Kalmadi: The way he accumulates money, he can accumulate lots of runs. His tendency to generate money out of nowhere is seen as his ability to get wickets out of nowhere. He is a genuine all rounder. He can even keep the umpires happy, if you know what I mean. He never hogs the limelight. Always owes it to teamwork.
2. Sharad Pawar: The Maratha pride. He is a bit lethargic in field. Takes time to move; needs a little push sometimes. But with him on the side, the team can make records, given his habit to make records of prices of onion and sugar. He does not care much about win or a loss. Cool as a cucumber. After all he is not a jyotishi.
3. RR Patil: A master planner. Sometimes caught off guard, when the opposite team strikes. To him even a huge loss does not matter. After all such small things happen. He is like a phoenix, rise from the ashes. The only thing that goes against him is his evident dislike for cheer leaders.
4. Mamata Banerjee: Bound to appeal a lot on the ground. Ei No Cholbe, Ei no Cholbe. Will sit on hunger strike if umpire does no give favorable decisions. Batting and Bowling will be on track with her in the team, well almost.
5. Sheila Dixit: Hell of a worker. Can make 200 in just 2 over’s when time comes. Though old age affects her memory a bit and she keeps forgetting things, considered a long innings player. Is well regarded for her mystic youth.
6. B. S. Yeddyurappa: With him, we will have our grounds to practice and play on. Whatever pitch/land/conditions we want to practice on, he will grab it and will make it available for us. Also he will cry when caught, so umpire will not give him out. He likes to keep himself in shape too. He respects the coach a lot.
7. M. K Alagiri (Karunanidhi’s son): He will hardly be present during the match but during the pre and post ceremonies, he will be there to complain that he is never given a chance to perform. Such spirit!
8. Nitin Gadkari: Will sit on the opposition and kill them. He is dealer and so is easy to deal with. Will keep asking for a wicket from the umpire. He will not let the match go on and may do a walkout, till his request is acceded to. His motto is “Eat and let Eat”, and eats up the wickets of the opposite team.
9. Narendra Modi: Tried his hand at umpiring. Took no decision and the two teams came to blows. Want to enter this time round as the player. The team is bound to win, err…only the home matches perhaps.
10. Rahul Gandhi: Likes to play test matches, slow and in whites. So that might be show-stopper. But has a fan following among elite youths (where the money is), so might be able to bring in sponsors. Also is young. Invest in future.
11. Manish Tiwari: His team is the reigning champion and he never misses a chance to be smug about it. He will murder anyone who says anything against his team. Such is his loyalty. Don’t need to know the context. All he knows is defense. He is the Wall. He can take on one, two or even three bowlers at the same time.
12. Jagan Reddy (12th man): He is a good fielder and practices a lot. Be it ‘Odarpu Yatra’. He has a lot of female fan following too. Charming! The flip side is that he will not play unless made the Captain. He will make a new team from the breakaway players if he is refused the Captain cap.
13. Sourav Ganguly: Pissed at his exclusion in the IPL, he gave his name for Indian Commoners. Unsold here too. Left has told they will find a role for him and no team in India is possible without him.
Top 10 Examples of Jugaad in India
“Aapko koi problem nahin hogi, maine jugaad kar rakhi hai”. “Kuch setting ho toh batao”. “Are apni upar tak setting hai”. Every one of us would have come across something similar at one point or the other. What exactly is this much celebrated setting aka jugaad? Well, it can simply be defined as an improvised quick fix to a tricky situation; goes to the extent of bending the rules; wisely attributed to lateral thinking.
Let me list down the top 10 examples of jugaad in India over the years.
- The Third Front as Alternative Governance
Recent elections have shown a new trend. The opportunist, UPA/NDA discards come together to form an alternative famously known as “Third Front”. It’s nothing more than a jugaad with sole purpose to bargain hard with UPA/NDA when time comes to form the Govt. Everyone knows it is not long term, but as to the purpose of holding the Govt to ransom it has worked quiet well. - Chidambram as Home Minister
Prithiviraj Patil was busy putting make-up and changing wardrobes amidst the 26/11 attacks. He needed to go and went he did! The big question was “Who would fill the empty chair”? Chidambram, known to be an astute economist, was fitted to run the Home Ministry. Barring a few fiasco (Hindu terror, Shoe sting et al), expected of a jugaad, PC has more or less fulfilled the role of a workable HM. - Ravindra Jadeja as All Rounder
The lack of all round cricketers in India is well known. One too many players have been tried by the selectors. When all else failed, time was ripe for the jugaad, Ravindra Jadeja. This jugaad failed and failed miserably. It even put a question mark to the very existence of jugaad. This, until he was selected again. You can hate jugaad, you can love jugaad, you can’t ignore jugaad. - Students and College Exams
Most of us never studied the whole semester and used to bunk the classes. At the verge of exams, we had no notes/no idea. The jugaad used to come into effect. Whole course was divided into 4-5 parts, depending upon the number of friends in the group. Each one read a particular section and then explained it to the rest of the group. I still don’t understand how, but we faired really well, Jugaad rocks!!! - L K Advani as Leader of Opposition
The fight for the post of Leader of Opposition was out in the open. Feelers were doing the rounds. When the GenX of the BJP leaders failed to come to a settlement, it was time for jugaad. The age old tested campaigner Advani, who till then had shown inclination to retire from active politics was brought back and he did some serious damage to UPA over price rise and corruption issues. - Security in India
Secuity setup in most of the places in India works on jugaad. Overworked/underpaid policemen; lack of proper fighting equipments; lack of transport vehicles; lack of proper police station. When people say, “How the hell do we not see anarchy in such a scenario?” I tell them it is the Indian jugaad of 3rd Degree. If you get caught by frustrated law enforcers, God help you! - Elections year after year
If you know someone who has acted as an Electoral Officer, you would know the whole election runs on nothing but jugaad. Govt officers are made poll officers, School/ Colleges are made the poll booths, Long lines at booths with no facility at all. Locals provide the chai/paani/lodging to the booth officers posted in remote areas. In tribal areas, the poll stationary is transported on Elephants. At some places people vote under lantern light. But this jugaad has stood the test of time and hopefully will continue doing so in the future. - Manmohan Singh as Prime Minister
When Sonia Gandhi did not accept the post of PM after 2004 victory, there was a big frenzy as to the appointment of the PM. Dr. Manmohan Singh, a respected, senior member of Congress party, was employed as a jugaad. Never contested an election, not known to be conniving politician, he turned out to be a shining success of Indian jugaad and how! Into his second term, the jugaad continues to rattle iron man Advani at his own game. - IPL in South Africa
IPL2 in SA is a shining example in the Indian jugaad armory. At couple of weeks notice, it was decided to shift the event to SA. Frenetic night outs, back room negotiations and “karna hai” attitude paved way to one of the highly successful events in cricketing history. It was a city moment of jugaads. - Baap of All Jugaads: Sheila Dixit (Common Wealth Games)
To term CWG, Baap of all Jugaads won’t be a misnomer. Everything was left to the last moment, to the chance. Sports Minister termed it the Fat Punjabi wedding, which turns out well at the end. A quick fix to the impounding problems, CM Shiela Dixit was the jugaad to get the games up and running. And boy did she turn out to be one hell of a jugaad. The opening ceremony was a grand success and the whole world came to know and respect the great Indian Jugaad. Bharat Bhagya Vidhata!
Study in US: A new Reality
I was talking to few of my friends who are pursuing Phd from US or have applied this year. The number of calls has become less with surprising number of rejects coming in. The situation seems grim.
Let me explain a bit. Every year Indian students apply for MS (Masters)/Phd in foreign universities (prominently US). Seats are offered to select students, often with scholarships. In case of IIT students, mostly, entire tuition fees is remitted. They are also paid stipend based on TA (Teaching Assistant) and RA (Research Assistant) work they do.
Due to the recession in recent times, universities have to cope up with reduced federal and private funding. They are no longer able to support large number of scholarship students. Coupled with the new protectionist approach of US, immigrant students feel no longer welcome, the way they were some time back.
Students need to submit a SOP (Statement Of Purpose) letter along with their admission form. They explain their education, expertise, research preference and the need for scholarship. I have seen a number of SOP’s and the end paragraph is full of blatant begs. “Coming from a poor country…I don’t have means to sustain the education fees…I am from an underdeveloped part of the world”, and more such lines.
For those who might consider me a skeptic, I want to stress that its not like a one way street. Universities also get to choose brilliant students who do research work ample times more than the money invested in. There is another side to it too. A bit harsh though.
The funda of scholarships was based on uplifting the poor. India was always perceived as full of talent. “The students don’t have money but they are brilliant, let’s help them and our research will prosper in return.” During last 25 years or so we have seen some path breaking work done by Indians in the US.
Past 5-10 years or so have seen an unparalleled growth in India. A new kind of generation has arrived which takes a new sense of pride in its country. No ruing the administration but striving towards change. This generation is Globally aware. Studying in US or going to London for a holiday is no longer the ultimate dream. The quantum of this generation is less but the impact is huge. This generation has IPL, the multi billion dollar cricket league, it stands up against racism in Australia, it voices against Ganesha on Chappals.
Here comes the catch. We no longer consider ourselves inferior. We have bred an arrogance on the likes of US, UK and Aus. Still we continue with the same set of SOP’s. How long can this work?
Lets see from the point of view of US citizens. They see Mumbai. They see Indians standing up for themselves. It is difficult for their Govt to explain spending money on students from such a rapidly growing economy. There is also a lesser moral satisfaction to this philanthropic deed. Would be logical if they moved to poorer countries of Africa. Indians are also waking up to this new reality. I have seen a lot of people now applying for MS/Phd procuring bank loans.
Growth is restrained by this logical tool. The more you grow, the lesser is the growth rate, coz the competition is higher at the top, where the charity stops.
Who can God be?
Over the years I have wondered about the existence of God. Is he here with us on earth or is he celestial? If he is on earth, what form has he taken? Is he a human, an animal, a tree, some inanimate object perhaps? I have come up with some logical deductions, like always, on who could God be. My assumptions are the qualities that we all believe God possesses. Armed with these traits of God, let us try and decipher the Holy Grail.
1. God is the Creator: God is Lalit Modi
God created us humans from scratch. Lalit Modi created IPL from scratch. God created 9 planets, Modi created 8 IPL teams. Just because Modi forgot one team, poor Pluto was stripped of its planet tag, thus maintaining the order divine.
He created the Champions League. He created the position of IPL Commissioner. He created three children of his own. He created a new political divide between India and Pakistan and the prototype for the modern Indian working lady. God created the world in 6 days. Modi created a whole IPL-2 in S. Africa equally fast. Such is the might of God.
2. God is Immortal: God is Afzal Guru
God is not subjected to death. He must be Afzal Guru for sure. Regardless of Supreme Court death sentence to him, he is still alive. Maybe it’s not Congress’ fault after all. It’s just God and his ways.
` 
` 
3. God is Omnipresent: God is China
China is present everywhere today. Look around, all you see is Chinese made goods. From head to toe you are covered in China. Chinese phones, Chinese toys, Chinese clothes, Chinese babies, Chinese dolls, Chinese food to name a few. In fact the Chinese themselves are all over the world. You look here, Chinese. You look there, Chinese. Next time you go to your home. Check the attic. I am sure Chinese would be there too. Next in line towards Godship are we Indians for all the obvious reasons.
` 
4. God is Immutable: God is Govt. of Maharashtra.
If God is not susceptible to change, my deduction would be he is Maha. Govt. A year has passed since 26/11, still no change. Everything is same.
` RR Patil is still Home Minister. Same old traffic problems.
` 
` Same old Security issues. Pawar’s smile is the same since eternity. Go to hell price rise.
` 
5. God is The Ultimate Truth and Ultimate Reality: God is Sach ka Saamna
What if God is a game show? Sach Ka saamna, which is the Ulimate reality show which brings out the Ultimate truth from the contestant. So is God a reality show and Rajeev Khandelwal is his agent?
` 
6. God is Boundless: God is US thirst for Oil
Maybe God is not something animate or visible. It is something as abstract as US thirst for Oil. It’s not US fault that they invaded Iraq and killed thousands of innocent people. It’s just what God forced it to. This feeling is boundless and cannot be contained. Hence US is forced to quench the thirst of Oil, sometimes by the blood of innocent people.
` 
` 
7. God has vast, un-imaginative powers: God is Madhu Koda
Madhu Koda might not be corrupt after all. It’s just his un-imaginative powers that converted nothing into billions. Remember “Turn water to Wine”. It’s just God’s power that took effect. He is no crook.
` 
8. God is Necessary (cannot do without): God is Mobile phone
We cannot live without mobile phone. The moment it is not in sight, we feel cut off from the world. We feel uneasy, itchy, dizzy and in despair. Better we died. Maybe this addiction is not our fault. It’s just that we cannot do without God. Long live Mobile!
` 
` 
9. God is Perfect: God is definitely not Microsoft Windows
One thing is sure, God is not Microsoft Windows. With so much defects clubbed together, it seems Windows was written with code collected from junk sale. Definitely not what God is made of!
` 
10. God is our father: God is Genghis Khan
A study identified a Y-chromosomal lineage linked to Genghis Khan, present in about 8% of the men in a large region of Asia. We are descendants of Genghis Khan. In fact the slang, “Ghenghis Khan ki Chati aulaad” is not used just like that. Most of us are his children and he is our father. Gandhi is just father of a nation, Genghis fatherhood transcends all boundaries.
` 
11. God is the Ruler: God is the media
Media has the complete dominion of the world. It’s media that rules today. News media makes/breaks stories. It twists news for TRP’s. Maybe it’s just the act of God to show complete control and not some wrong doings on the part of media.
12. God is Immaculate (free of stain, spotless, absolutely pure): God is Katrina Kaif
God! She is gorgeous. So spotless, so pure, so free from error. How gentle and lovely is she. If there is someone purer than Katrina, I reckon there is no God. I would not want to pursue my hunt any further for the God who made Kat inferior to anyone. I am ready to go to hell for her.
IPL: Who said what, The truth
PC: Our Government is too afraid to give go ahead to IPL. Internal security, well it’s a thing of the past. Terrorist attack during IPL can cost us elections. I have been playing this cat and mouse to irritate the organizers. But these guys are too good for that and have been coming up with one schedule after another. Like I care.
Jaitley: Had we been at the Centre, we too would have done the same. But why let this opportunity to nail Congress go away.
Shashank Manohar: We have long been the pawn between the Centre and the State. We know that Govt won’t give the permission. We don’t want to waste any more time. We have a task in hand to make money. Let us concentrate on that.
Lalit Modi: I haven’t slept for over a month now. My hair look scary. My eyes look scary. My only wish was to be the strongest man in Cricket. That I am. Now to sustain that I want IPL to happen. I just wish it happens in India coz here the costs are low and I can make more money.
Security Forces: We don’t have modern equipments. We don’t have necessary man power. We don’t have guns. We don’t have ammunition. We haven’t received any credible intelligence report for long. We know we would be blamed if anything happens. Yet we are ready to give it our best. Last time when we went to save Taj, we were surprised the Durbaan didn’t stop us at the gate. I remember once going there with my family. The Durbaan didn’t let us in, sensing that we don’t have enough money. When would we be paid well, to be able to dine at Taj not die at Taj.
CPI-CPM: Blame govt, blame BJP, blame media, blame USA, blame pakistan, blame blame blame…blam blam blam…bla bla bla.
Rahul Gandhi: IPL should happen in India. It is a matter of national prestige.
Sonia Gandhi: Hush…hush. When will this child grow up. I am just fed up of him.
Manmohan Singh: I am coming straight from the operation theatre. I haven’t asked Soniyaji what to speak. Soniaji, Soniaji. Where is Soniaji?
Narendra Modi: Make me PM if you want IPL in India. If there would be no Indian Premier League (IPL), I promise you we won’t let Pakistan Premier League (PPL) to take place ever. I have decided to launch my own IPL team, Rama: The Saviours.
Pakistan: Welcome to the family. After such a long time, we stand united.
Common Man: Wow what a month. News channels kept me entertained.
IPL: Behind the Doors
Due to the rising security concern, Indian government decided not to hold IPL in India. BCCI decided to take IPL abroad. The franchise owners became apprehensive of this move and decided to pull out. According to them IPL outside India was not a profitable venture. Franchise owners Shahrukh, Preity, Mallya, Nita, Shilpa met Lalit Modi to get back the money they had already invested in IPL.
SRK: Let me speak first since I am number 1. I feel cheated, now that IPL is not taking place in India. You have fooled us all, Modi. Give me back my goddam money. And it should all be in 1 rupee coins, coz I am number 1.
Shilpa: Yes and I should be the one to get it first. I have no work. I am ageing and everybody wants me to shut up and bounce. I am fed up of all this. Even my boyfriend has this accent that everyone teases me about.
Preity: Oh! you greedy lady. I should get back the money first. Even I have no work. At least you have a boyfriend who bought the team for you. I am not even sure if I have a boyfriend anymore. I tried hitting on Yuvi but his father won’t let me anywhere near him.
Mallya: What about me, I lost in F1, I bought Gandhi belongings. I am broke. I even lost my pride having been thrashed in IPL1. I should get the money first. My yacht needs repair. Situation is so bad that I can’t even afford a drink.
Nita: Hey what about us? You know we purchased this new dining table for our new 10000 crore home and would you believe, 2 diamonds went missing. The dealer said that dining table had exactly 78 embedded diamonds when he dispatched it. Mukesh counted twice and found only 76. We should get the money first. We are in a bad shape.
Modi: Welcome you all, I haven’t slept for 20 days, haven’t eaten for 12 days, haven’t bathed for 10 days. I have become a football between State and Centre, Centre and State. I have made enough time tables to qualify as the principal of any college. Deal with Sony broke off. Govt withdrew permission to hold matches. Wife needs new jewellery. Kids want to holiday abroad. I have enough problems of my own. And you Guys come here asking for money. Paisa Paisa Paisa. Kya bas paisa hi sab kuch hai? Insaaniyat kuch nahin, pyaar kuch nahin, zameer kuch nahin… (he went on rambling for next 15 minutes)
SRK: I think he has gone mad.
Shilpa: What about my money? You shouldn’t have been so greedy Preity. It’s all because of you that he has gone mad.
Preity: So now it’s me? Why don’t you just shut up and bounce. What about Nita? Her diamonds have to go missing now only?
Nita: Mukesh is always the one with progressive thinking. We always look forward in life. What is past is past. I don’t want to talk about Anil and the spat. Its not to be discussed in public. Mukesh is always…
Mallya: She forgot again when to say what. I have asked Muskesh a lot of times not to send his wife where money is involved. Or at least ask her not to mix the lines. She think she is on TV.
SRK: Hush…hush, looks like Modi is coming back to senses. So when are we getting back our money, Mr Modi? I never wanted my captain. My captain never wanted my wicketkeeper. My wicketkeeper got injured. I myself am injured. Give me back my money.
Modi: Paisa Paisa Paisa. Kya bas paisa hi sab kuch hai, insaaniyat kuch nahin, pyaar kuch nahin, zameer kuch nahin… (he went on rambling for another 15 minutes)
Everybody: Seems like he is making a fool of us. He won’t give our money easily.
SRK: Let me show him my six pack. Isko iska rab yaad aa jaayega.
Shilpa: I will not shut up any more. Don’t let me call Raj to make you bounce Modi.
Preity: I have not forgotten the slap on my player SreeSanth. Don’t make me revenge it on you.
Mallya (took a drink): F1 asked me to leave Force India, India asked me to leave IPL, now you are asking me to leave the money. Hic! I object. Give me my money. Hic! I object.
Nita: If you don’t give me back my money, Anil will become richer than us. If he gets richer toh do baatein ho sakti hain. And since I don’t remember any of the two, give me back my money so that Anil doesn’t get richer than us.
Modi: I am fed up of you guys. I love the money. I will not give it back. I think I’ll run away to South Africa.
Everybody: Let’s follow him till we get our money back.
And they all left for South Africa.
Disclaimer: This is an art of fiction. Nothing written here should be taken seriously. It has no relation to anyone living or dead.
ArpitGarg's Weblog 