ArpitGarg's Weblog

An opinion of the world around me

Posts Tagged ‘security

Short skirts, safety and security

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skirt.jpgThe age we in is of discontent, anger and negativity. Some studies say that social media is to blame where negative bias has taken over. Negative news is more likely to be re-posted than a positive one. Over time this grows in magnitude. Anything we read, our first reaction is to find fault. Not everything the Govt. does is against women, against religions, against castes. But people like to play victim and make everything sound bad. Never do they try and understand why.

If we take a step back and analyze a particular thing from a logical and impartial point of view, most of the times we would see merit in it. Sometimes people are too afraid of the popular backlash that we feel safe in following the herd. Without knowing the context and ground realities we say what others are saying. And we fit right in. At times it is not politically correct to speak the truth hence we keep shut.

Once such issue is clothes worn by women in public in India. Whenever some authority figure urges women to not wear short and revealing clothes in public, he/she is castigated and character assassinated. Bigot, orthodox, obnoxious and what not. Never once people try and analyze the realities around that statement.

Let me relate the realities. India has a pathetic ratio of police to people. It is getting better day by day, but in its current form, we are not able to provide good policing. Law and order situation is real bad. I for one am supportive of women rights but am skeptical when it comes to safety. When I know the roads are not safe, would I wish women in my family to get harmed?

I agree, the pathetic mindset of men is to blame and not the women for wearing what they like. Yes, we as a society have failed. But it is a reality. Rather than living in a Utopian fantasy world, it’s better to know the ground.

Once the policing is better and there is ample safety, no one will suggest women what to wear and what not to. But someone has to point out the obvious albeit at the risk of being castigated. I would urge all women to see the locality you are living/going to. Stupid people will encourage you to wear short clothes and hail it as a victory of feminism. The victory of feminism will not change the reality on the ground.

I even tell people not to flaunt money if going to places where you feel less safe. Am I anti wealth? No, just using common sense. I might be called names for writing this, but what the hell. So much for being cautious!

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Written by arpitgarg

April 21, 2016 at 9:53 am

Top 10 Examples of Jugaad in India

with 3 comments

“Aapko koi problem nahin hogi, maine jugaad kar rakhi hai”. “Kuch setting ho toh batao”. “Are apni upar tak setting hai”. Every one of us would have come across something similar at one point or the other. What exactly is this much celebrated setting aka jugaad? Well, it can simply be defined as an improvised quick fix to a tricky situation; goes to the extent of bending the rules; wisely attributed to lateral thinking.

Let me list down the top 10 examples of jugaad in India over the years.

  1. The Third Front as Alternative Governance
    Recent elections have shown a new trend. The opportunist, UPA/NDA discards come together to form an alternative famously known as “Third Front”. It’s nothing more than a jugaad with sole purpose to bargain hard with UPA/NDA when time comes to form the Govt. Everyone knows it is not long term, but as to the purpose of holding the Govt to ransom it has worked quiet well.
  2. Third Front 3Third Front 1Third Front 2

  3. Chidambram as Home Minister
    Prithiviraj Patil was busy putting make-up and changing wardrobes amidst the 26/11 attacks. He needed to go and went he did! The big question was “Who would fill the empty chair”? Chidambram, known to be an astute economist, was fitted to run the Home Ministry. Barring a few fiasco (Hindu terror, Shoe sting et al), expected of a jugaad, PC has more or less fulfilled the role of a workable HM.
  4. Chidambram 1Chidambram 2

  5. Ravindra Jadeja as All Rounder
    The lack of all round cricketers in India is well known. One too many players have been tried by the selectors. When all else failed, time was ripe for the jugaad, Ravindra Jadeja. This jugaad failed and failed miserably. It even put a question mark to the very existence of jugaad. This, until he was selected again. You can hate jugaad, you can love jugaad, you can’t ignore jugaad.
  6. Jadeja 1Jadeja 2

  7. Students and College Exams
    Most of us never studied the whole semester and used to bunk the classes. At the verge of exams, we had no notes/no idea. The jugaad used to come into effect. Whole course was divided into 4-5 parts, depending upon the number of friends in the group. Each one read a particular section and then explained it to the rest of the group. I still don’t understand how, but we faired really well, Jugaad rocks!!!
  8. Exams 2Exams 1Exams 3

  9. L K Advani as Leader of Opposition
    The fight for the post of Leader of Opposition was out in the open. Feelers were doing the rounds. When the GenX of the BJP leaders failed to come to a settlement, it was time for jugaad. The age old tested campaigner Advani, who till then had shown inclination to retire from active politics was brought back and he did some serious damage to UPA over price rise and corruption issues.
  10. Advani 1Advani 2Advani 3

  11. Security in India
    Secuity setup in most of the places in India works on jugaad. Overworked/underpaid policemen; lack of proper fighting equipments; lack of transport vehicles; lack of proper police station. When people say, “How the hell do we not see anarchy in such a scenario?” I tell them it is the Indian jugaad of 3rd Degree. If you get caught by frustrated law enforcers, God help you!
  12. Security 1Security 2Security 3

  13. Elections year after year
    If you know someone who has acted as an Electoral Officer, you would know the whole election runs on nothing but jugaad. Govt officers are made poll officers, School/ Colleges are made the poll booths, Long lines at booths with no facility at all. Locals provide the chai/paani/lodging to the booth officers posted in remote areas. In tribal areas, the poll stationary is transported on Elephants. At some places people vote under lantern light. But this jugaad has stood the test of time and hopefully will continue doing so in the future.
  14. Election 1 Election 2 Election 4 Election 3

  15. Manmohan Singh as Prime Minister
    When Sonia Gandhi did not accept the post of PM after 2004 victory, there was a big frenzy as to the appointment of the PM. Dr. Manmohan Singh, a respected, senior member of Congress party, was employed as a jugaad. Never contested an election, not known to be conniving politician, he turned out to be a shining success of Indian jugaad and how! Into his second term, the jugaad continues to rattle iron man Advani at his own game.
  16. PM 1 PM 2

  17. IPL in South Africa
    IPL2 in SA is a shining example in the Indian jugaad armory. At couple of weeks notice, it was decided to shift the event to SA. Frenetic night outs, back room negotiations and “karna hai” attitude paved way to one of the highly successful events in cricketing history. It was a city moment of jugaads.
  18. IPL 1IPL 2IPL 3

  19. Baap of All Jugaads: Sheila Dixit (Common Wealth Games)
    To term CWG, Baap of all Jugaads won’t be a misnomer. Everything was left to the last moment, to the chance. Sports Minister termed it the Fat Punjabi wedding, which turns out well at the end. A quick fix to the impounding problems, CM Shiela Dixit was the jugaad to get the games up and running. And boy did she turn out to be one hell of a jugaad. The opening ceremony was a grand success and the whole world came to know and respect the great Indian Jugaad. Bharat Bhagya Vidhata!
  20. CWG 1CWG 2CWG 3

Netizens and Fake Identity

with 6 comments

One of my old colleagues initiated a Facebook discussion. Somewhere along the discussion he took the liberty of deleting one of my comments. His justification was that he intended to maintain his profile, posts and comments in a particular manner to which my comment did not adhere to. Consider here that my comment was neither obscene, provocative or political. I contested that he was trying to create a fake online impression by censoring views of his friends on his profile. All I could do was to prohibit myself from any further comments on his posts.

Enough of the petty personal low down. The issue I want to raise here is related to the realism of online profiles and social networking sites. Internet is looked upon as a replica of the real world. An extension perhaps. We have created online profiles, shopping malls, entertainment media, social networks etc for us. Netizens have always maintained that online profile is nothing but an impression of the reality. However there has been a surge in the number of fake profiles recently. Authorities across the world are trying to find a way to handle it in the best possible way.

Consider a real life scenario. You are having a discussion with someone and he starts uttering indemnities. What do you do? You stop the discussion then and there and decide not to be friends with him/her anymore. You start a fist fight. You report him to the authorities. But can you erase/delete what has been said? Can you un-say it? In the online world it becomes possible. Exactly the point I want to make. Netizens are deviating from the rules, regulations for the citizens. The fact that facebook allows a person to delete a comment by someone on his/her profile makes it a fakebook. True that it is necessary sometimes to delete an obscene or filthy remark but who is to decide what is to be deleted?

One might contest, “Why is there a need for a Netizen to bide by the regulations for a Citizen?” He might be right today. But given that we are taking more and more of our lives online, it might not be the case in near future. Effective laws and stringent checks will guard the online world not very far from now. E-self would be forced to stay in line with real-self. It would be a matter of choice nomore. Infact, strict online laws are being debated at eminent forums. Maybe in the future, online profiles would require you to enter SSN (Social Secuirty Number), thereby eliminating the existence of fake profiles altogether.

Consider another scenario.  A travel agency creates a Facebook profile which brags about the services they provide. Someone who has employed their services in the past knows it to be a lie. He writes a comment on their page, stating the truth. The agency deletes the comment then and there. The page remains clean, thereby misguiding the junta. On the flip side, if they are not allowed to delete the comment then a rival company might post a fake derogatory comment. A Catch-22 situation.

What could the solution be? Nothing simple, I guess.

  1. One solution could be to delete from friend-list, who we feel is writing false or maligning comments. It would closely replicate real life scenario. We just end the friendship.
  2. We can avoid adding all and sundry to our friend-list. The lesser the better.
  3. Instead of delete comment, there could be a report abuse button for every post/comment. Though it would require more personnel to be employed by the networking site who would check whether it is really an abuse or not. This might again be contested.

If this too fails then there is always Mafia Wars to settle the scores.

Who can God be?

with 9 comments

Over the years I have wondered about the existence of God. Is he here with us on earth or is he celestial? If he is on earth, what form has he taken? Is he a human, an animal, a tree, some inanimate object perhaps? I have come up with some logical deductions, like always, on who could God be. My assumptions are the qualities that we all believe God possesses. Armed with these traits of God, let us try and decipher the Holy Grail.

1.    God is the Creator: God is Lalit Modi

God created us humans from scratch. Lalit Modi created IPL from scratch. God created 9 planets, Modi created 8 IPL teams. Just because Modi forgot one team, poor Pluto was stripped of its planet tag, thus maintaining the order divine.


He created the Champions League. He created the position of IPL Commissioner. He created three children of his own. He created a new political divide between India and Pakistan and the prototype for the modern Indian working lady. God created the world in 6 days. Modi created a whole IPL-2 in S. Africa equally fast. Such is the might of God.

2.    God is Immortal: God is Afzal Guru

God is not subjected to death. He must be Afzal Guru for sure. Regardless of Supreme Court death sentence to him, he is still alive. Maybe it’s not Congress’ fault after all. It’s just God and his ways.

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3.    God is Omnipresent: God is China

China is present everywhere today. Look around, all you see is Chinese made goods. From head to toe you are covered in China. Chinese phones, Chinese toys, Chinese clothes, Chinese babies, Chinese dolls, Chinese food to name a few. In fact the Chinese themselves are all over the world. You look here, Chinese. You look there, Chinese. Next time you go to your home. Check the attic. I am sure Chinese would be there too. Next in line towards Godship are we Indians for all the obvious reasons.

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4.    God is Immutable: God is Govt. of Maharashtra.

If God is not susceptible to change, my deduction would be he is Maha. Govt. A year has passed since 26/11, still no change. Everything is same.

`                  RR Patil is still Home Minister.               Same old traffic problems.
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`                        Same old Security issues.           Pawar’s smile is the same since eternity. Go to hell price rise.
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5.    God is The Ultimate Truth and Ultimate Reality: God is Sach ka Saamna

What if God is a game show? Sach Ka saamna, which is the Ulimate reality show which brings out the Ultimate truth from the contestant. So is God a reality show and Rajeev Khandelwal is his agent?

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6.    God is Boundless: God is US thirst for Oil

Maybe God is not something animate or visible. It is something as abstract as US thirst for Oil. It’s not US fault that they invaded Iraq and killed thousands of innocent people. It’s just what God forced it to. This feeling is boundless and cannot be contained. Hence US is forced to quench the thirst of Oil, sometimes by the blood of innocent people.
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7.   God has vast, un-imaginative powers: God is Madhu Koda

Madhu Koda might not be corrupt after all. It’s just his un-imaginative powers that converted nothing into billions. Remember “Turn water to Wine”. It’s just God’s power that took effect. He is no crook.
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8.    God is Necessary (cannot do without): God is Mobile phone

We cannot live without mobile phone. The moment it is not in sight, we feel cut off from the world. We feel uneasy, itchy, dizzy and in despair. Better we died. Maybe this addiction is not our fault. It’s just that we cannot do without God. Long live Mobile!
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9.    God is Perfect: God is definitely not Microsoft Windows

One thing is sure, God is not Microsoft Windows. With so much defects clubbed together, it seems Windows was written with code collected from junk sale. Definitely not what God is made of!
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10.  God is our father: God is Genghis Khan

A study identified a Y-chromosomal lineage linked to Genghis Khan, present in about 8% of the men in a large region of Asia. We are descendants of Genghis Khan. In fact the slang, “Ghenghis Khan ki Chati aulaad” is not used just like that. Most of us are his children and he is our father. Gandhi is just father of a nation, Genghis fatherhood transcends all boundaries.
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11.  God is the Ruler: God is the media

Media has the complete dominion of the world.  It’s media that rules today. News media makes/breaks stories. It twists news for TRP’s. Maybe it’s just the act of God to show complete control and not some wrong doings on the part of media.

12.  God is Immaculate (free of stain, spotless, absolutely pure): God is Katrina Kaif

God! She is gorgeous. So spotless, so pure, so free from error. How gentle and lovely is she. If there is someone purer than Katrina, I reckon there is no God. I would not want to pursue my hunt any further for the God who made Kat inferior to anyone. I am ready to go to hell for her.

IPL: Who said what, The truth

with 3 comments

PC: Our Government is too afraid to give go ahead to IPL. Internal security, well it’s a thing of the past. Terrorist attack during IPL can cost us elections. I have been playing this cat and mouse to irritate the organizers. But these guys are too good for that and have been coming up with one schedule after another. Like I care.

Jaitley: Had we been at the Centre, we too would have done the same. But why let this opportunity to nail Congress go away.

Shashank Manohar: We have long been the pawn between the Centre and the State. We know that Govt won’t give the permission. We don’t want to waste any more time. We have a task in hand to make money. Let us concentrate on that.

Lalit Modi: I haven’t slept for over a month now. My hair look scary. My eyes look scary. My only wish was to be the strongest man in Cricket. That I am. Now to sustain that I want IPL to happen. I just wish it happens in India coz here the costs are low and I can make more money.

Security Forces: We don’t have modern equipments. We don’t have necessary man power. We don’t have guns. We don’t have ammunition. We haven’t received any credible intelligence report for long. We know we would be blamed if anything happens. Yet we are ready to give it our best. Last time when we went to save Taj, we were surprised the Durbaan didn’t stop us at the gate. I remember once going there with my family. The Durbaan didn’t let us in, sensing that we don’t have enough money. When would we be paid well, to be able to dine at Taj not die at Taj.

CPI-CPM: Blame govt, blame BJP, blame media, blame USA, blame pakistan, blame blame blame…blam blam blam…bla bla bla.

Rahul Gandhi: IPL should happen in India. It is a matter of national prestige.
Sonia Gandhi: Hush…hush.  When will this child grow up. I am just fed up of him.

Manmohan Singh: I am coming straight from the operation theatre. I haven’t asked Soniyaji what to speak. Soniaji, Soniaji. Where is Soniaji?

Narendra Modi: Make me PM if you want IPL in India. If there would be no Indian Premier League (IPL), I promise you we won’t let Pakistan Premier League (PPL) to take place ever. I have decided to launch my own IPL team, Rama: The Saviours.

Pakistan: Welcome to the family. After such a long time, we stand united.

Common Man: Wow what a month. News channels kept me entertained.

IPL: Behind the Doors

with 6 comments

Due to the rising security concern, Indian government decided not to hold IPL in India. BCCI decided to take IPL abroad. The franchise owners became apprehensive of this move and decided to pull out. According to them IPL outside India was not a profitable venture. Franchise owners Shahrukh, Preity, Mallya, Nita, Shilpa met Lalit Modi to get back the money they had already invested in IPL.

SRK: Let me speak first since I am number 1. I feel cheated, now that IPL is not taking place in India. You have fooled us all, Modi. Give me back my goddam money. And it should all be in 1 rupee coins, coz I am number 1.

Shilpa: Yes and I should be the one to get it first. I have no work. I am ageing and everybody wants me to shut up and bounce. I am fed up of all this. Even my boyfriend has this accent that everyone teases me about.

Preity: Oh! you greedy lady. I should get back the money first. Even I have no work. At least you have a boyfriend who bought the team for you. I am not even sure if I have a boyfriend anymore. I tried hitting on Yuvi but his father won’t let me anywhere near him.

Mallya: What about me, I lost in F1, I bought Gandhi belongings. I am broke. I even lost my pride having been thrashed in IPL1. I should get the money first. My yacht needs repair. Situation is so bad that I can’t even afford a drink.

Nita: Hey what about us? You know we purchased this new dining table for our new 10000 crore home and would you believe, 2 diamonds went missing. The dealer said that dining table had exactly 78 embedded diamonds when he dispatched it. Mukesh counted twice and found only 76. We should get the money first. We are in a bad shape.

Modi: Welcome you all, I haven’t slept for 20 days, haven’t eaten for 12 days, haven’t bathed for 10 days. I have become a football between State and Centre, Centre and State. I have made enough time tables to qualify as the principal of any college. Deal with Sony broke off. Govt withdrew permission to hold matches. Wife needs new jewellery. Kids want to holiday abroad. I have enough problems of my own. And you Guys come here asking for money. Paisa Paisa Paisa. Kya bas paisa hi sab kuch hai? Insaaniyat kuch nahin, pyaar kuch nahin, zameer kuch nahin… (he went on rambling for next 15 minutes)

SRK: I think he has gone mad.

Shilpa: What about my money? You shouldn’t have been so greedy Preity. It’s all because of you that he has gone mad.

Preity: So now it’s me? Why don’t you just shut up and bounce. What about Nita? Her diamonds have to go missing now only?

Nita: Mukesh is always the one with progressive thinking. We always look forward in life. What is past is past. I don’t want to talk about Anil and the spat. Its not to be discussed in public. Mukesh is always…

Mallya: She forgot again when to say what. I have asked Muskesh a lot of times not to send his wife where money is involved. Or at least ask her not to mix the lines. She think she is on TV.

SRK: Hush…hush, looks like Modi is coming back to senses. So when are we getting back our money, Mr Modi? I never wanted my captain. My captain never wanted my wicketkeeper. My wicketkeeper got injured. I myself am injured. Give me back my money.

Modi: Paisa Paisa Paisa. Kya bas paisa hi sab kuch hai, insaaniyat kuch nahin, pyaar kuch nahin, zameer kuch nahin… (he went on rambling for another 15 minutes)

Everybody: Seems like he is making a fool of us. He won’t give our money easily.

SRK: Let me show him my six pack. Isko iska rab yaad aa jaayega.

Shilpa: I will not shut up any more. Don’t let me call Raj to make you bounce Modi.

Preity: I have not forgotten the slap on my player SreeSanth. Don’t make me revenge it on you.

Mallya (took a drink): F1 asked me to leave Force India, India asked me to leave IPL, now you are asking me to leave the money. Hic! I object. Give me my money. Hic! I object.

Nita: If you don’t give me back my money, Anil will become richer than us. If he gets richer toh do baatein ho sakti hain. And since I don’t remember any of the two, give me back my money so that Anil doesn’t get richer than us.

Modi: I am fed up of you guys. I love the money. I will not give it back. I think I’ll run away to South Africa.

Everybody: Let’s follow him till we get our money back.

And they all left for South Africa.

Disclaimer: This is an art of fiction. Nothing written here should be taken seriously. It has no relation to anyone living or dead.

The journey was jinxed! Not entirely my fault.

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Blank Blank Blank. Tring!!! Tring!!! A pain burst across the head. What was the time? It has been just half an hour since I slept. Who could it be?

Me: Yes?
Caller: “@#$%^!!! what day is today?”
Me: Such a stupid question! “Why, I asked?”
Caller: “Today is 2nd Feb and you @#$%^!!! booked my ticket for 2nd of March. I am stranded like a fool at the airport.”

I came back to senses. What angered him more was that I burst into laughter. Dude, your journey was jinxed, not entirely my fault. I broke into laughter yet again. Let me give you some insight as to what happened earlier to understand my point.

The friend of mine in question was supposed to travel from Pune to his hometown. And since he is my school mate, my hometown as well. He booked train ticket for Friday afternoon. On reaching the station he found the train to be late by 6 hours. Indulging himself with the usual gallivanting, he came back to the station at night. Still late! When he finally boarded the train, it was running good 7 hours late. Hardly 10 minutes and the train came to a halt. It was a station at the outer. 10-15-30-45 minutes passed. His patience was running out. He caught hold of a pantry worker. “Sahib, the train will eventually be 12-13 hrs late“. He decided to call it a day. He was on phone with me when he got off. The train started off with a whistle just as he reached the station exit. Dude you made Jab We Met 2. Having nothing to do and getting a bit frustrated, he decided to travel to Mumbai on his bike. “Are you insane, it is 11 in the night and you have to travel whole 140 kms?” I am traveling was the reply.

I want to tell you that traveling at night is not safe even for a youngster on bike. The security checks would suck your pockets dry. On top of it, if your vehicle bears an outstation number, you are on your own. Street smart that he is, he reached Mumbai in record time nevertheless. He was so exhausted that he dreaded his decision to bike to Mumbai and was at wits end, how would he return?

A friend of mine from college had joined us too. I would spare you the details of the party that night. Next day I had to attend to some urgent work at office so I left them both at the house for around 2-3 hours. They called me at office that they have planned to leave for their respective home towns and since I have net accessibility at office, if possible to book their flights. There was some confusion and I ended up booking, a return ticket for my college friend and two tickets (going and return) for my school friend. Mumbai-Delhi-Mumbai. Their flight was to depart Monday morning. 6:45. They left at 5 am. I decided to retire into sweet-sweet sleep. Blank Blank Blank. Tring!!! Tring!!!

It turned out; I had booked 2nd -7th Feb for my college friend, but 2nd March and 7th Feb for the school friend. He got the ticket canceled, booked another one and ended up paying 50% more.

To begin with, his train got delayed. No sooner had he got off the train than it started again. He biked all the way to Mumbai fully exhausted, harassed at various checks. If these weren’t the signs, what are? Paulo Coelho would have written a book on this had he not written The Alchemist, so prominent were the signs. My plea is, what I did was not a mistake but the eventuality of various signs. The journey was jinxed. Not entirely my fault!

Written by arpitgarg

February 2, 2009 at 12:53 pm

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