Posts Tagged ‘cell’
Who can God be?
Over the years I have wondered about the existence of God. Is he here with us on earth or is he celestial? If he is on earth, what form has he taken? Is he a human, an animal, a tree, some inanimate object perhaps? I have come up with some logical deductions, like always, on who could God be. My assumptions are the qualities that we all believe God possesses. Armed with these traits of God, let us try and decipher the Holy Grail.
1. God is the Creator: God is Lalit Modi
God created us humans from scratch. Lalit Modi created IPL from scratch. God created 9 planets, Modi created 8 IPL teams. Just because Modi forgot one team, poor Pluto was stripped of its planet tag, thus maintaining the order divine.
He created the Champions League. He created the position of IPL Commissioner. He created three children of his own. He created a new political divide between India and Pakistan and the prototype for the modern Indian working lady. God created the world in 6 days. Modi created a whole IPL-2 in S. Africa equally fast. Such is the might of God.
2. God is Immortal: God is Afzal Guru
God is not subjected to death. He must be Afzal Guru for sure. Regardless of Supreme Court death sentence to him, he is still alive. Maybe it’s not Congress’ fault after all. It’s just God and his ways.
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3. God is Omnipresent: God is China
China is present everywhere today. Look around, all you see is Chinese made goods. From head to toe you are covered in China. Chinese phones, Chinese toys, Chinese clothes, Chinese babies, Chinese dolls, Chinese food to name a few. In fact the Chinese themselves are all over the world. You look here, Chinese. You look there, Chinese. Next time you go to your home. Check the attic. I am sure Chinese would be there too. Next in line towards Godship are we Indians for all the obvious reasons.
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4. God is Immutable: God is Govt. of Maharashtra.
If God is not susceptible to change, my deduction would be he is Maha. Govt. A year has passed since 26/11, still no change. Everything is same.
` RR Patil is still Home Minister. Same old traffic problems.
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` Same old Security issues. Pawar’s smile is the same since eternity. Go to hell price rise.
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5. God is The Ultimate Truth and Ultimate Reality: God is Sach ka Saamna
What if God is a game show? Sach Ka saamna, which is the Ulimate reality show which brings out the Ultimate truth from the contestant. So is God a reality show and Rajeev Khandelwal is his agent?
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6. God is Boundless: God is US thirst for Oil
Maybe God is not something animate or visible. It is something as abstract as US thirst for Oil. It’s not US fault that they invaded Iraq and killed thousands of innocent people. It’s just what God forced it to. This feeling is boundless and cannot be contained. Hence US is forced to quench the thirst of Oil, sometimes by the blood of innocent people.
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7. God has vast, un-imaginative powers: God is Madhu Koda
Madhu Koda might not be corrupt after all. It’s just his un-imaginative powers that converted nothing into billions. Remember “Turn water to Wine”. It’s just God’s power that took effect. He is no crook.
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8. God is Necessary (cannot do without): God is Mobile phone
We cannot live without mobile phone. The moment it is not in sight, we feel cut off from the world. We feel uneasy, itchy, dizzy and in despair. Better we died. Maybe this addiction is not our fault. It’s just that we cannot do without God. Long live Mobile!
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9. God is Perfect: God is definitely not Microsoft Windows
One thing is sure, God is not Microsoft Windows. With so much defects clubbed together, it seems Windows was written with code collected from junk sale. Definitely not what God is made of!
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10. God is our father: God is Genghis Khan
A study identified a Y-chromosomal lineage linked to Genghis Khan, present in about 8% of the men in a large region of Asia. We are descendants of Genghis Khan. In fact the slang, “Ghenghis Khan ki Chati aulaad” is not used just like that. Most of us are his children and he is our father. Gandhi is just father of a nation, Genghis fatherhood transcends all boundaries.
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11. God is the Ruler: God is the media
Media has the complete dominion of the world. It’s media that rules today. News media makes/breaks stories. It twists news for TRP’s. Maybe it’s just the act of God to show complete control and not some wrong doings on the part of media.
12. God is Immaculate (free of stain, spotless, absolutely pure): God is Katrina Kaif
God! She is gorgeous. So spotless, so pure, so free from error. How gentle and lovely is she. If there is someone purer than Katrina, I reckon there is no God. I would not want to pursue my hunt any further for the God who made Kat inferior to anyone. I am ready to go to hell for her.
Where’s my Cell Phone?
This Monday I woke up on time. No problem with that, my alarm clock(s) takes care of it. Got dressed, checked my pockets as usual. ID card: Yes, Keys: Yes, Wallet: Yes. Okay, all set to go to the office. All seemed well but something was amiss, there was this inner feeling. “Its nothing”, I told myself. Let’s go. All through the way to office, I had this feeling that I was missing something, something crucial.
It was only when I reached the office and checked the time that the realization struck me. “Oh! God, I forgot my cell phone”. A lot of us would agree that despite us purchasing and using the cell phone, in reality it’s we who have become the salve of it. It’s my watch, I need to exchange messages now and then, I need to exchange missed calls, and I need to check mails. In short I need my cell phone more than anything.
Let’s discuss what happens when I forget my cell. I can’t check messages, I can’t check calls. There is always that feeling, who would have called? Could it be something important? It was not as if life couldn’t go on without cell phone, it’s just that it has become an important part of our life. It can be understood as the extension of our body which helps us connect via telepathy. It’s the same, if not equal to it. The feeling when I forget my cell phone can’t be explained in words. It has to be felt to understand. I love you, my cell phone. I love you so very much.
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