ArpitGarg's Weblog

An opinion of the world around me

Posts Tagged ‘south

Top 10 Examples of Jugaad in India

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“Aapko koi problem nahin hogi, maine jugaad kar rakhi hai”. “Kuch setting ho toh batao”. “Are apni upar tak setting hai”. Every one of us would have come across something similar at one point or the other. What exactly is this much celebrated setting aka jugaad? Well, it can simply be defined as an improvised quick fix to a tricky situation; goes to the extent of bending the rules; wisely attributed to lateral thinking.

Let me list down the top 10 examples of jugaad in India over the years.

  1. The Third Front as Alternative Governance
    Recent elections have shown a new trend. The opportunist, UPA/NDA discards come together to form an alternative famously known as “Third Front”. It’s nothing more than a jugaad with sole purpose to bargain hard with UPA/NDA when time comes to form the Govt. Everyone knows it is not long term, but as to the purpose of holding the Govt to ransom it has worked quiet well.
  2. Third Front 3Third Front 1Third Front 2

  3. Chidambram as Home Minister
    Prithiviraj Patil was busy putting make-up and changing wardrobes amidst the 26/11 attacks. He needed to go and went he did! The big question was “Who would fill the empty chair”? Chidambram, known to be an astute economist, was fitted to run the Home Ministry. Barring a few fiasco (Hindu terror, Shoe sting et al), expected of a jugaad, PC has more or less fulfilled the role of a workable HM.
  4. Chidambram 1Chidambram 2

  5. Ravindra Jadeja as All Rounder
    The lack of all round cricketers in India is well known. One too many players have been tried by the selectors. When all else failed, time was ripe for the jugaad, Ravindra Jadeja. This jugaad failed and failed miserably. It even put a question mark to the very existence of jugaad. This, until he was selected again. You can hate jugaad, you can love jugaad, you can’t ignore jugaad.
  6. Jadeja 1Jadeja 2

  7. Students and College Exams
    Most of us never studied the whole semester and used to bunk the classes. At the verge of exams, we had no notes/no idea. The jugaad used to come into effect. Whole course was divided into 4-5 parts, depending upon the number of friends in the group. Each one read a particular section and then explained it to the rest of the group. I still don’t understand how, but we faired really well, Jugaad rocks!!!
  8. Exams 2Exams 1Exams 3

  9. L K Advani as Leader of Opposition
    The fight for the post of Leader of Opposition was out in the open. Feelers were doing the rounds. When the GenX of the BJP leaders failed to come to a settlement, it was time for jugaad. The age old tested campaigner Advani, who till then had shown inclination to retire from active politics was brought back and he did some serious damage to UPA over price rise and corruption issues.
  10. Advani 1Advani 2Advani 3

  11. Security in India
    Secuity setup in most of the places in India works on jugaad. Overworked/underpaid policemen; lack of proper fighting equipments; lack of transport vehicles; lack of proper police station. When people say, “How the hell do we not see anarchy in such a scenario?” I tell them it is the Indian jugaad of 3rd Degree. If you get caught by frustrated law enforcers, God help you!
  12. Security 1Security 2Security 3

  13. Elections year after year
    If you know someone who has acted as an Electoral Officer, you would know the whole election runs on nothing but jugaad. Govt officers are made poll officers, School/ Colleges are made the poll booths, Long lines at booths with no facility at all. Locals provide the chai/paani/lodging to the booth officers posted in remote areas. In tribal areas, the poll stationary is transported on Elephants. At some places people vote under lantern light. But this jugaad has stood the test of time and hopefully will continue doing so in the future.
  14. Election 1 Election 2 Election 4 Election 3

  15. Manmohan Singh as Prime Minister
    When Sonia Gandhi did not accept the post of PM after 2004 victory, there was a big frenzy as to the appointment of the PM. Dr. Manmohan Singh, a respected, senior member of Congress party, was employed as a jugaad. Never contested an election, not known to be conniving politician, he turned out to be a shining success of Indian jugaad and how! Into his second term, the jugaad continues to rattle iron man Advani at his own game.
  16. PM 1 PM 2

  17. IPL in South Africa
    IPL2 in SA is a shining example in the Indian jugaad armory. At couple of weeks notice, it was decided to shift the event to SA. Frenetic night outs, back room negotiations and “karna hai” attitude paved way to one of the highly successful events in cricketing history. It was a city moment of jugaads.
  18. IPL 1IPL 2IPL 3

  19. Baap of All Jugaads: Sheila Dixit (Common Wealth Games)
    To term CWG, Baap of all Jugaads won’t be a misnomer. Everything was left to the last moment, to the chance. Sports Minister termed it the Fat Punjabi wedding, which turns out well at the end. A quick fix to the impounding problems, CM Shiela Dixit was the jugaad to get the games up and running. And boy did she turn out to be one hell of a jugaad. The opening ceremony was a grand success and the whole world came to know and respect the great Indian Jugaad. Bharat Bhagya Vidhata!
  20. CWG 1CWG 2CWG 3

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Racism: Reverse and Progressive

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A lot has kept us busy as a nation last couple of weeks. CWG, Mohali win and most recently some serious allegations of racism against a few officials from down under.

If I am right, Ministry of External Affairs, India summoned High Commissioners of respective countries and lodged protests. Last I heard the said individuals either resigned or were ousted and rightly so. Such behavior has no place in civilized societies.

Okay, tell me one thing. Has racism sprung up all of a sudden during recent times? The answer would be a no. Racism is a perception which a society or a race developes about contemporary society or race overtime. It’s just that with the advent of Globalization, these days we get to know of it real time. Earlier Lord Ganesha on Chappals was mere fashion for a society that doesn’t know anything about him, Today it is offensive.

Tell me frankly, how many of us think Bhajji did indeed utter “Maa Ki” and not the racist slur. Why then were we as a nation hell bent on seeing Bhajji free of the allegations? Now come ‘on, it had nothing to do with lack of evidence or anything thereof. If such had been the case then all our politicians were saints.

To be frank it’s about who is leveling the allegations. Had the opposite team been Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, West Indies or for that matter South Africa, we as a nation might not have backed our player to that extent. Why? Coz we have seen long periods of unabashed Aussie sledging as a reminder of the days of the Raj perhaps.

When a society which has perception of being shamelessly racist, throws up allegations of such sort, it seems rubbing salt in the wound. You gotta handle what you dish out. Right?

But what worries me more is a developing phenomenon, Reverse Racism. In our part of world racism is generally related to prejudice that developed white nations have against us about them being superior. The aspect of racism under which emerging societies like us berate, taunt or create a certain perception about developed nations is what I call Reverse Racism.

When white girls are considered nothing but free meat. Whole society is said to lack values. If it’s not racism, what is it? I was shocked to see in a recent episode of Bigg Boss, a dozen white models in skimpy dresses made to dance with the ousted contestant. Just as his inaam. When the whole crowd enjoys it, it’s not just racism, it’s sadness.

Equally frightening is Progressive Racism. Progressive racism is when slightly more developed race is prejudiced against slightly lesser developed race.

When an African student in Delhi University is called Kaalu. A person from the same region is called Habshi on national TV. When CWG teams from African countries are given step motherly treatment. On daily basis do we see jokes being made on color of skin on TV. “Abey door hat, tu rang chodta hai”. Sab log fair and lovely lagate hain, yeh cherry blossom lagata hai. Abe langoor ke bhai.

I am not trying to be apologetic here, I hate that frankly. But if such progressive and reverse racism continues in our society, we too would lose our moral right to complain. We would just be another hypocrite in the bunch. Do we really want that? It’s bit scary to answer, isn’t it?

Who can God be?

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Over the years I have wondered about the existence of God. Is he here with us on earth or is he celestial? If he is on earth, what form has he taken? Is he a human, an animal, a tree, some inanimate object perhaps? I have come up with some logical deductions, like always, on who could God be. My assumptions are the qualities that we all believe God possesses. Armed with these traits of God, let us try and decipher the Holy Grail.

1.    God is the Creator: God is Lalit Modi

God created us humans from scratch. Lalit Modi created IPL from scratch. God created 9 planets, Modi created 8 IPL teams. Just because Modi forgot one team, poor Pluto was stripped of its planet tag, thus maintaining the order divine.


He created the Champions League. He created the position of IPL Commissioner. He created three children of his own. He created a new political divide between India and Pakistan and the prototype for the modern Indian working lady. God created the world in 6 days. Modi created a whole IPL-2 in S. Africa equally fast. Such is the might of God.

2.    God is Immortal: God is Afzal Guru

God is not subjected to death. He must be Afzal Guru for sure. Regardless of Supreme Court death sentence to him, he is still alive. Maybe it’s not Congress’ fault after all. It’s just God and his ways.

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3.    God is Omnipresent: God is China

China is present everywhere today. Look around, all you see is Chinese made goods. From head to toe you are covered in China. Chinese phones, Chinese toys, Chinese clothes, Chinese babies, Chinese dolls, Chinese food to name a few. In fact the Chinese themselves are all over the world. You look here, Chinese. You look there, Chinese. Next time you go to your home. Check the attic. I am sure Chinese would be there too. Next in line towards Godship are we Indians for all the obvious reasons.

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4.    God is Immutable: God is Govt. of Maharashtra.

If God is not susceptible to change, my deduction would be he is Maha. Govt. A year has passed since 26/11, still no change. Everything is same.

`                  RR Patil is still Home Minister.               Same old traffic problems.
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`                        Same old Security issues.           Pawar’s smile is the same since eternity. Go to hell price rise.
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5.    God is The Ultimate Truth and Ultimate Reality: God is Sach ka Saamna

What if God is a game show? Sach Ka saamna, which is the Ulimate reality show which brings out the Ultimate truth from the contestant. So is God a reality show and Rajeev Khandelwal is his agent?

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6.    God is Boundless: God is US thirst for Oil

Maybe God is not something animate or visible. It is something as abstract as US thirst for Oil. It’s not US fault that they invaded Iraq and killed thousands of innocent people. It’s just what God forced it to. This feeling is boundless and cannot be contained. Hence US is forced to quench the thirst of Oil, sometimes by the blood of innocent people.
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7.   God has vast, un-imaginative powers: God is Madhu Koda

Madhu Koda might not be corrupt after all. It’s just his un-imaginative powers that converted nothing into billions. Remember “Turn water to Wine”. It’s just God’s power that took effect. He is no crook.
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8.    God is Necessary (cannot do without): God is Mobile phone

We cannot live without mobile phone. The moment it is not in sight, we feel cut off from the world. We feel uneasy, itchy, dizzy and in despair. Better we died. Maybe this addiction is not our fault. It’s just that we cannot do without God. Long live Mobile!
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9.    God is Perfect: God is definitely not Microsoft Windows

One thing is sure, God is not Microsoft Windows. With so much defects clubbed together, it seems Windows was written with code collected from junk sale. Definitely not what God is made of!
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10.  God is our father: God is Genghis Khan

A study identified a Y-chromosomal lineage linked to Genghis Khan, present in about 8% of the men in a large region of Asia. We are descendants of Genghis Khan. In fact the slang, “Ghenghis Khan ki Chati aulaad” is not used just like that. Most of us are his children and he is our father. Gandhi is just father of a nation, Genghis fatherhood transcends all boundaries.
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11.  God is the Ruler: God is the media

Media has the complete dominion of the world.  It’s media that rules today. News media makes/breaks stories. It twists news for TRP’s. Maybe it’s just the act of God to show complete control and not some wrong doings on the part of media.

12.  God is Immaculate (free of stain, spotless, absolutely pure): God is Katrina Kaif

God! She is gorgeous. So spotless, so pure, so free from error. How gentle and lovely is she. If there is someone purer than Katrina, I reckon there is no God. I would not want to pursue my hunt any further for the God who made Kat inferior to anyone. I am ready to go to hell for her.

Botha, Who? SA captain. Again, Who?

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A: Who is the guy bowling?
B: Johan Botha.
A: Johan who?
B: Captain of South Africa.
A: Again, who?

During the ongoing ODI series involving Aussies and SA, I was really confused seeing Johan Botha. Where did he come from? How did I miss him earlier? Why have I never heard about him as a player? I scanned my brain for some match winning performance, some feat. Nothing! I cricinfoed his profile to find more about him. Nothing! Tried google. Nothing!

One can easily remember the name of South African spinners, simply coz there haven’t been many. Pat Symcox, Nicky Boje, Paul Adams and the most recent Paul Harris. Where did I miss Botha. Not just the lone spinner but the captain too! A recent article in this regard presented an interesting view. Botha was chosen to bring inspiration to the team in Smith’s absence. What inspiration was the author taking about? Apparently he had been called for his bowling action in the past. The way he handled the situation and came back to the team would prove inspirational and what the players could look up to.

Great! Now players like Kallis, Gibbs, Boucher, Amla would look up to an ex-chucker for inspiration! This is not even a reason. So why was he made captain? A captain, who is not even a selection in the Test team.

Selectors might be repeating their Experiment Smith. They threw in Smith very early into captaincy and look how well he fared. Maybe that’s the thought. Again, Smith averaged 55 in whatever few Tests he had played by then. Botha’s batting avg of 18 and bowling average of 40 don’t even come close. A couple of failures and he would be running from pillar to post for his place in the team, leave aside captaincy.

There should be something more to it. Given Smith’s envious record as a captain and as a player, South African cricket board might be looking just for a stop gap arrangement. Who the captain is as the filler don’t even matter. Again, why Botha?

We might want to have a look around. Marred by power struggles within the team, cricket round the world has suffered a lot. England, West Indies, Pakistan, India. All. SA has been insulated from it for a while now, barring a few hiccups. Selectors might not want to create poles within the team by giving a senior member the captaincy, who might be reluctant to relinquish it later. Look what happened to England post Ashes ’05. Why not select a younger player who is not even sure of his place. Keep him the captain for a series or two, till Smith is back. He can even be disposed off easily, if the plan backfires. This would keep Smith the sole power center within the team. Thus, tactfully avoiding ego clashes among the senior players.

Selectors might be giving an excuse of grooming the captain for the future. Our worry is, Mr. Botha might even not have one as a player!

Written by arpitgarg

January 19, 2009 at 11:47 am

Satyam, Rice, Hayden and me

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Last few days have been quite eventful. Satyam went bust, UNSC voted for ceasefire in Gaza strip, Hayden retired and I lost a kilo or something. All events, huge on their own.

Satyam Fiasco
It might sound a bit harsh but frankly speaking I could never have imagined in my wildest dreams that a person from down South could pull off such a scam. Admit it; South Indians are considered quiet naïve by us North Indians. We think they lack the shrewdness needed for such an occasion. For us from the North such things are nothing new, as one of my gujju friend rightly exclaimed, “This will go down as one of the few financial frauds in which no gujju is involved.” Going by the examples of Ketan Parekh and Harshad Mehta, this didn’t come to me as news. Let me admit it, People from South, I have been wrong till now. You guys are not so naïve after all and have full capabilities of performing such a scam and can take us guys from UP, Bihar or the Gujju stronghold, head on. Also there is a need for a personal apology to all my South Indian friends for my considering them naïve and at times un-sansarik. Sorry Manda, Vamsee, Ajay and company. I have been so very wrong.

UNSC vote on Israel
This was another case of male chauvinism post the master and slave poster of Singh is King in which Katrina was sitting on the floor with Akshay as King on the throne. Poor Condoleezza prepared and arranged this whole resolution and Bush, the master made just a call and she had to abstain from voting, being left thoroughly embarrassed. We can be quite sure such an embarrassment would not have been meted out to a male Secretary of State. Die Die feminism, long live male supremacy.

Hayden retired
At last God you granted my wish. I so love you God that I can even give you my dear cell phone, if you ask me right now. Finally someone, other that an Indian player, got not so great a farewell and had to be thrown out of the squad before retiring into oblivion. It used to pain me lot, seeing Kapil Dev, Azharuddin, Ganguly, Kumble etc carrying on painfully, admist calls for their retirement. Whereas Gilchrist, McGrath, Warne chose to retire at their peak. Damn you Australia, now.

I lost a kilo
This has been the story of my life. Losing few, Gaining lot. Still these are one of the few losses,  I love to enjoy.

Written by arpitgarg

January 13, 2009 at 11:49 am

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