Posts Tagged ‘Office’
Friendship, Love and Beyond
We all know the importance of friends in our lives. I won’t go into that. How friendship is affected by love is what I want to capture here. Can “a girl and a boy” be just good friends? This theme has been done to death in Hindi movies. More often than not, friends end up being lovers. Let’s explore.
The friendship of a male and female during college is quite different from that of work life. How? During college we hang out in groups. Hostellers have no life beyond college and friends. They become family. If feelings develop, it’s fine. But most of times, love does not develop, and friendship remains. Coz its family. Beyond the college, during the work life, we make new friends at office and outside. However we are in the college mindset. This is where the problem starts.
Most of the college love stories end with college itself. People go on to take jobs in different cities and that is where the romance stops. But with work life, it’s a new start altogether. People want to settle down and are looking for commitments. More often than not, love comes in between friendship, and if it is one sided, the friendship goes for a toss. It becomes uncomfortable, especially for the one who had feelings.
Let me relate a point. It might sound crude but is very practical. In India, girls who talk comfortably and openly with guys are very less. Look around your office for evidence. It is true for guys also. Such is the society in which we have grown up.
At office when a girl and guy become friends, they are seen talking together a lot, rumor mills start working. “Bhai, yeh ladki toh us ladke ki setting hai. Maine dekha hai dono ko kai baar saath”. They are assumed to be having an affair by the kill-time junta. The guy will try and react to rumors as if they are true, that’s how Dog we men are! We like to be stud. Now if the girl falls in love with someone in the same office. What happens to the friendship?
The friend-guy now becomes the ex in the eyes of the same junta. “Bhai, us ladki ne ladke ko laat maar di. Woh kisi aur ke saath ghoom rahi hai aajkal”. The guy now tries to justify that they are just friends; he had no feelings. But given his silent validation earlier, he becomes a laughing matter. He stops interacting with the girl suddenly under various pretexts. Also since they have spent so much time together, there is a feeble feeling somewhere deep down, which does not let him see her in love with someone else.
This now takes me to the movie, “Hum Tumhare Hain Sanam”. Madhuri’s friendship with Salman creates unrest in Shahrukh’s mind to the extent of breaking up their marriage. This is also true in real life. Ditto is the reason why guys can’t stand their girlfriend/wife in contact with her ex. Guys are possessive. Period! It’s not as if they doubt the commitment/character. Had it been the case, the relationship would have ended then and there. No. It’s just that guys are possessive about their girl.
Girls can go/shop/spend with her female friends; she can set the house on fire with her silliness; she can do all sorts of unreasonable things, and the guy will laugh it off. But the idea of another guy having even a bit of importance in her life, he will not be able to deal with it.
Depending on the level of love and level of maturity, the guy might relay his feelings to her and talk it out OR fight when he loves her too much to leave her but also is angry with her OR if love is not so strong, move away.
Girl may demand millions of things from his hubby. He will try and fulfill each and everything happily. Guys just demand one thing; Girl should have no place for any other guy at physical or emotional level in her life.
Courtesy: A Mad Kitten
ठर्कीपन
बात है उस दिन की, पैदा हुआ था मैं,
सफ़ेद लिबास में पुचकार रही थी वो,
उम्र न देखी, वक़्त न देखा, बस ली फिर्की,
नर्स को ही देखकर हो गया मैं ठर्की|
नर्सरी क्लास का है किस्सा यह,
आगे की कुर्सी पे बैठी थी वो,
खींच दी आहिस्ता से चोटी उसकी,
उसकी नन्ही जुल्फों में उलझा ये ठर्की|
चौथी कक्षा की टीचर जी,
हर बच्चा उन पे मरता था,
कितनों से लड़ा, कितनी तोड़ी बत्तीसी,
ब्लैक बोर्ड की लिखाई ने कर दिया ठर्की|
स्कूल के मास्टर की कोचिंग जाता था,
कुछ अपनापन था वहां, दिल को भाता था,
नंबर अब जो भी दे वो, बेटी भा गयी मास्टर की,
फेल और पास क्या जाने, यह मन तो है ठर्की|
बचपन का दोस्त था जो, एक दिन बोला वो,
नीले दुपट्टे में आई है जो, दिल ले गयी मेरा,
कहने को भाभी होनी थी, पर मर्जी इश्वर की,
समझा लूँगा दोस्त को मैं, न समझे ये दिल ठर्की|
कम्पटीशन का पेपर देने बैठा था, आर या पार,
दो सीट आगे बैठी थी, दिल हुआ बेकरार,
सलेक्श हो जाएगा अगले साल सही,
आज जी भर के देखूं उसको, हो कर ठर्की|
ऑफिस में तो सुधर जा अब, सीधा बन,
शिकायत करेगी, जायेगी नौकरी, होगी कुर्की,
जान दे, दूसरी मिल ही जायेगी नौकरी तो,
आज रोका तो बुरा मान जाएगा दिल ठर्की|
बचपन में सीखा था मैंने,
कैसा भूल गया यह ज्ञान,
अब ना भूलूंगा जीवन भर,
हर दिन जाप करूंगा, जी कर, मर कर|
इश्क में पड़ेगा तो जान से जाएगा,
ऐसा घुसेगा, पानी नहीं पायेगा,
जूतों से पिटवाएगी यह लड़की,
नज़र रख सीधी, मत बन ठर्की||
Changes and Phases
It’s been a long break from blogging. I haven’t been all that busy to tell you the truth. It’s just that the urge to put my thoughts together was missing of late. In fact I was afraid to.
We encounter various circumstances in life. Some of them were never even wished for. Things move and we suddenly find ourselves trying hard to row against the tide of this rapid change. Not everyone is apt enough to handle it. Initially we try and ignore things, up to the point that they are right into our faces. Whereby we experience an outburst followed by rescinding into a shell.
I am sure everyone has faced such times in their life. At least I have. They used to be frequent during college when the process of learning about life probably started. Before was just a mad race to the top whence there was no time to stop and think. I have faced it again during my newly started professional life. However I find it a bit different this time. Specially in terms of rebound time.
College life, that too in an IIT, gives you full control over your public appearances. You can forego classes for some time before being missed. You need to write the exams though. One could easily lock himself up in the room, coming out when and where he wants to. This aids the recovery process. One needs some time alone to come to grasp with his own insecurities and internal emotional churnings.
What happens during the professional life is that one has to go to office daily, no choice there. He has to meet people daily. One couldn’t possibly get the long away time to reflect on oneself and hence the rebound takes longer.
Now after a few weeks I feel at peace with myself al over again. As per the reasons to the dull phase, when the initial excitement of a new city, a new job, dies down, the reality of accepting it as our own, a routine strikes us. We need some time to settle down. These are the common symptoms among the migrant workers such as me who are born in one place, study elsewhere and work some where else. Here I would like to mention the city of Mumbai. The accepting cosmopolitan nature of this city has helped me a lot in adjusting to the new surroundings. It grows on you slowly. Give it some time and you will fall in love with it. I feel me again, till the next bout of course.
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