ArpitGarg's Weblog

An opinion of the world around me

Posts Tagged ‘Office

Friendship, Love and Beyond

with 6 comments

We all know the importance of friends in our lives. I won’t go into that. How friendship is affected by love is what I want to capture here. Can “a girl and a boy” be just good friends? This theme has been done to death in Hindi movies. More often than not, friends end up being lovers. Let’s explore.

The friendship of a male and female during college is quite different from that of work life. How? During college we hang out in groups. Hostellers have no life beyond college and friends. They become family. If feelings develop, it’s fine. But most of times, love does not develop, and friendship remains. Coz its family. Beyond the college, during the work life, we make new friends at office and outside. However we are in the college mindset. This is where the problem starts.

Most of the college love stories end with college itself. People go on to take jobs in different cities and that is where the romance stops. But with work life, it’s a new start altogether. People want to settle down and are looking for commitments. More often than not, love comes in between friendship, and if it is one sided, the friendship goes for a toss. It becomes uncomfortable, especially for the one who had feelings.

Let me relate a point. It might sound crude but is very practical. In India, girls who talk comfortably and openly with guys are very less. Look around your office for evidence. It is true for guys also. Such is the society in which we have grown up.

At office when a girl and guy become friends, they are seen talking together a lot, rumor mills start working. “Bhai, yeh ladki toh us ladke ki setting hai. Maine dekha hai dono ko kai baar saath”. They are assumed to be having an affair by the kill-time junta. The guy will try and react to rumors as if they are true, that’s how Dog we men are! We like to be stud. Now if the girl falls in love with someone in the same office. What happens to the friendship?

The friend-guy now becomes the ex in the eyes of the same junta. “Bhai, us ladki ne ladke ko laat maar di. Woh kisi aur ke saath ghoom rahi hai aajkal”. The guy now tries to justify that they are just friends; he had no feelings. But given his silent validation earlier, he becomes a laughing matter. He stops interacting with the girl suddenly under various pretexts. Also since they have spent so much time together, there is a feeble feeling somewhere deep down, which does not let him see her in love with someone else.

This now takes me to the movie, “Hum Tumhare Hain Sanam”. Madhuri’s friendship with Salman creates unrest in Shahrukh’s mind to the extent of breaking up their marriage. This is also true in real life. Ditto is the reason why guys can’t stand their girlfriend/wife in contact with her ex. Guys are possessive. Period! It’s not as if they doubt the commitment/character. Had it been the case, the relationship would have ended then and there. No. It’s just that guys are possessive about their girl.

Girls can go/shop/spend with her female friends; she can set the house on fire with her silliness; she can do all sorts of unreasonable things, and the guy will laugh it off. But the idea of another guy having even a bit of importance in her life, he will not be able to deal with it.

Depending on the level of love and level of maturity, the guy might relay his feelings to her and talk it out OR fight when he loves her too much to leave her but also is angry with her OR if love is not so strong, move away.

Girl may demand millions of things from his hubby. He will try and fulfill each and everything happily. Guys just demand one thing; Girl should have no place for any other guy at physical or emotional level in her life.

Courtesy: A Mad Kitten

Written by arpitgarg

January 25, 2012 at 11:43 pm

Posted in Love, Tips

Tagged with , , , , , , ,

ठर्कीपन

with 2 comments

बात है उस दिन की, पैदा हुआ था मैं,
सफ़ेद लिबास में पुचकार रही थी वो,
उम्र न देखी, वक़्त न देखा, बस ली फिर्की,
नर्स को ही देखकर हो गया मैं ठर्की|

नर्सरी क्लास का है किस्सा यह,
आगे की कुर्सी पे बैठी थी वो,
खींच दी आहिस्ता से चोटी उसकी,
उसकी नन्ही जुल्फों में उलझा ये ठर्की|

चौथी कक्षा की टीचर जी,
हर बच्चा उन पे मरता था,
कितनों से लड़ा, कितनी तोड़ी बत्तीसी,
ब्लैक बोर्ड की लिखाई ने कर दिया ठर्की|

स्कूल के मास्टर की कोचिंग जाता था,
कुछ अपनापन था वहां, दिल को भाता था,
नंबर अब जो भी दे वो, बेटी भा गयी मास्टर की,
फेल और पास क्या जाने, यह मन तो है ठर्की|

बचपन का दोस्त था जो, एक दिन बोला वो,
नीले दुपट्टे में आई है जो, दिल ले गयी मेरा,
कहने को भाभी होनी थी, पर मर्जी इश्वर की,
समझा लूँगा दोस्त को मैं, न समझे ये दिल ठर्की|

कम्पटीशन का पेपर देने बैठा था, आर या पार,
दो सीट आगे बैठी थी, दिल हुआ बेकरार,
सलेक्श हो जाएगा अगले साल सही,
आज जी भर के देखूं उसको, हो कर ठर्की|

ऑफिस में तो सुधर जा अब, सीधा बन,
शिकायत करेगी, जायेगी नौकरी, होगी कुर्की,
जान दे, दूसरी मिल ही जायेगी नौकरी तो,
आज रोका तो बुरा मान जाएगा दिल ठर्की|

बचपन में सीखा था मैंने,
कैसा भूल गया यह ज्ञान,
अब ना भूलूंगा जीवन भर,
हर दिन जाप करूंगा, जी कर, मर कर|

इश्क में पड़ेगा तो जान से जाएगा,
ऐसा घुसेगा, पानी नहीं पायेगा,
जूतों से पिटवाएगी यह लड़की,
नज़र रख सीधी, मत बन ठर्की||

Weekend Crusades

with 4 comments

A phone call woke me up in wee hours of the morning. I had slept late last night and a minor headache crept in. “Sir, will be there in half an hour”. Brilliant! I went back to sleep. Phone rang a second time. A friend called reminding me to get up. What has happened to this world? Why can’t a poor man get a day’s sleep?

Hesitantly, I pulled myself off the bed. After half an hour sharp, I got a call from the driver. Since when have we people become so punctual? Anyways, I took the car, picked up a colleague on the way to an outing with office friends. Cars from other parts of the city too converged at the resort.

To be frank, barring a few, I never tried to get familiar with the group till then. Well, it all changed and how!

Poolside Musical Chairs, Dumb Charades, What’s yours like?, Truth or Dare, Antakshari and few meticulously planned field games were part of our fun entourage. After about 10 hrs of mix and match, we were all on our way back home.

I got to know the importance of such outings. Everyone gelled in together with casual flirtings, intentional fun-fights and jokes galore. I felt at home with the gang. I made friends for life.

Summed up below are few highlights of the trip which I am sure, whoever present, will smile at, for life.

1. Las Vegas Shamed
The marquee of the trip. Outdoing my pole dance, he gave such a scintillating performance of Strip Dance which would even put vegas leggies to shame. The guy was a true sport and great fun. Thanks dude for “What’s yours like?”.

2. What’s yours like?
An extremely novel and intriguing game. Nice connotations attached to it makes it even more exciting. The group selects a “body part” (noise, lips, ears, belly button etc) and the person chosen has to guess it. He can ask 6 people, one single question, “What’s yours like”, who in turn can reply only in “single word or a short phrase” describing their own said body part. The chosen one gets 3 guesses.

When “belly button” was chosen and a girl was asked “WYL”, she curtly replied, “Deep”. We all fell over laughing and the chosen one couldn’t decide on whether to speak his mind or not.

Best hints award went to a colleague who gave either of the two answers all the time, “hard” and “I have two”.

3. Antakshari
Impending Antakshari competition got a good start with this dress rehearsal. The rapid Antakshari was full of fights and arguments, but at the end we all sang together songs from Rafi to Himesh with equal vigor. It is rightly said, “How would have Majnu proposed to Laila, had there not been a lyricist”.

4. Truth or Dare
They clapped at my maiden pole dance. My visual experiences over the years had helped. Thank you Romanian chicks for a good lesson.

5. Dog in the Bone
I gave it my all. Got injured but led my team to victory. My guru has said, “Never try and beat a lady in a game. Its blasphemy”. I disobeyed and had a mighty fall. “Sorry Guruji for me forget teachings of thee”

6. The Salsa dance
Passing the parcel was winner all the way. Salsa dance by the duo was eye popping to say the least. Shucks that I could not learn salsa. Well these are the things which marks the difference between Being Single and otherwise.

7. The Kajal Bhai
The girl could even put God Mother to shame. In a perfect tapori performance, she chedofai, a couple of good looking men as rest of the girls kept devouring eyes on the prey.

8. The mimicry of the boss
The mimicry of the boss was to the T. And accompanying hugs were brilliant.

9. Of Beggars, Proposers and the Seductions
Passing the Parcel threw some excellent performances of begging, proposing (Kya tum mere bachhon ki maa banogi), and seductions (Maar Dala). Never knew we had such budding talent within the group.

10. Win and Near miss
After a long-long time, I got lucky. No, not that lucky. I won Passing the Parcel. “Who’s the boss now…haha”, but lost the straw game narrowly owing to a clever fox of an opponent.

It was one hell of a day which I enjoyed thoroughly. Hope others enjoyed too. Many thanks to all, who worked selflessly to make this trip possible. Looking forward to more such endeavors together.

Changes and Phases

with one comment

It’s been a long break from blogging. I haven’t been all that busy to tell you the truth. It’s just that the urge to put my thoughts together was missing of late. In fact I was afraid to.

We encounter various circumstances in life. Some of them were never even wished for. Things move and we suddenly find ourselves trying hard to row against the tide of this rapid change. Not everyone is apt enough to handle it. Initially we try and ignore things, up to the point that they are right into our faces. Whereby we experience an outburst followed by rescinding into a shell.

I am sure everyone has faced such times in their life. At least I have.  They used to be frequent during college when the process of learning about life probably started. Before was just a mad race to the top whence there was no time to stop and think. I have faced it again during my newly started professional life. However I find it a bit different this time. Specially in terms of rebound time.

College life, that too in an IIT, gives you full control over your public appearances. You can forego classes for some time before being missed. You need to write the exams though. One could easily lock himself up in the room, coming out when and where he wants to. This aids the recovery process. One needs some time alone to come to grasp with his own insecurities and internal emotional churnings.

What happens during the professional life is that one has to go to office daily, no choice there. He has to meet people daily. One couldn’t possibly get the long away time to reflect on oneself and hence the rebound takes longer.

Now after a few weeks I feel at peace with myself al over again. As per the reasons to the dull phase, when the initial excitement of a new city, a new job, dies down, the reality of accepting it as our own, a routine strikes us. We need some time to settle down. These are the common symptoms among the migrant workers such as me who are born in one place, study elsewhere and work some where else. Here I would like to mention the city of Mumbai. The accepting cosmopolitan nature of this city has helped me a lot in adjusting to the new surroundings. It grows on you slowly. Give it some time and you will fall in love with it. I feel me again, till the next bout of course.

Written by arpitgarg

November 10, 2009 at 10:00 am

%d bloggers like this: