Archive for the ‘Real Incidents’ Category
Ola going the Nestle way: Degrading Quality
I used to admire Ola a lot. A start-up that solved the commuting headache of evolving India. I have used Ola in metro cities Mumbai, Delhi and have admired their service. Nice ride, with informed drivers. Ola service centre provided good guidelines to the drivers which I think helped them to service customers.
However what I faced recently in Agra, was a very bad experience. I called a cab. A very old and bad looking cab came to pick me up. “How does looks matter. I just need a ride”, thinking this, I got in the cab. Now the cab started shaking as the ride started. At the very first turn, driver then hit a two wheeler which fell down and needed helping to picked up. I realized it was not the drivers fault, the brake was at fault. The car was so old, it was not in a position to run smoothly. Gates opened only on one side, AC was not cooling the cab.
Then came the next part, Driver asked me money for Diesel. Hell! I told him, I have recharged my Ola cash, and couldn’t pay cash. Poor driver didn’t understood what I was talking about. Apparently, cab belonged to some local heavyweight, who run 4-5 cabs with Ola and have hired drivers to drive his cars. This driver didn’t know anything about how Ola cab worked. In fact I have to remind him to click “Start Journey” on his device after 500m or so. And he was like, “Sir kuch upar se de dena 500 m ke, boss gaali dega warna”.
Coming back to the diesel. He stopped the car and called his boss. He told that passenger won’t pay cash and diesel is running out. “Aapne subah bas 3 litre dalwaya tha sir, aur paise bhi nahin diye aapne”. I heard him telling his boss.
Anyway, a shaky ride with me praying at every turn ensued. As I was still to reach the destination, driver stopped again. “Aap yahin pe utar jao. Main aage nahin jaoonga. Boss yahin pe aake petrol bharwa dega. Mujhe dhakka nahin lagana”. I told him that I won’t argue with him. I will complain to Ola. “Aap jo bhi karo, kar lo. Meri gaadi nahin hai. Mujhe kya. Waise bhi yeh gaadiyaan Nisaar sahab ki hain. Unka kuch nahin kar sakte Ola waale. Saalon ko Agra mein Ola chalaani hai toh Nisaar sahab se panga Ola waalon ka baap bhi nahin le sakta. Agra mein Ola band karwa denge sahab”.
I got down. Waited for a rickshaw for a while; Took the rickshaw and got to my destination.
I enquired further as to the root cause. The issue is lack of checks by Ola. People are buying old, debilitating cars for 50,000 bucks. They get 36,000 per month from Ola. Keep a driver @ 6000. Diesel for another 8000 bucks around per month. Clear 22000/- profit per month. Since the cab is old, no burden of EMI’s. I came to know such practice is rampant in Tier-2/3 cities like Agra, where they say, “Bas call aata hai, koi check karne to aata nahin hai, ki kitni ghatiya car hai”.
I say Ola has gone Nestle way because, Swiss company Nestle think of Indians as Poor people and apply different quality checks for Indian and Switzerland/US/UK. Same is being done by Ola. They are applying different standards and responses to Metros Delhi/Mumbai/Bengaluru and to Tier-2/3 cities. In a bid to expand quality is being degraded.
I complained over the phone. Got a lot of apologies from call centre executive of Ola. They promised me refund. I asked them I don’t need the refund. I want to know when they will ban such cabs and improve quality checks. Otherwise it’s a tragedy waiting to happen with such gundaism.
Mind Games
I met a friend of mine today after a very long time. However we hit it off like yesterday. Now this friend is a person with extraordinarily high IQ. He is a genius but like with all of them he has a problem. He tends to micro analyse things.
He don’t know when to let go of things. He will keep thinking about incidents in his life from a factual perspective. You can’t find a fault in his analysis per say. But what he fails to understand is, we don’t need to do it always. If we have a quarrel with our brother, we should hug it off the next day. But his brain works differently. He will analyse the quarrel to find the root cause and in turn will never talk to his brother.
If you talk to him, you will be mighty impressed by his reasonings. They are theoretical and hence very difficult to be punctured. He will let himself suffer because his brain tells him he is right.
Such mindgames that he plays with himself, hurts no one but him. I hope with time he realizes that being happy is more important than the concept of right or wrong. Hope he loses with himself in these games of mind.
Poor man’s fight
Not 5 mins back two people in my coach were having a shouting match. Topic “Whose space was it to put the luggage?” Let me call them passenger A and B.
B came and found luggage space under his seat occupied. He asked around and nobody claimed. The bags were exchanged and B settled down.
10 mins later A entered. His seat was couple of rows away. He flew into rage seeing his luggage on the ground. And the slinging match started. Clearly A was in wrong here but I don’t want to go into it.
Have you observed that chances of such fights are higher in trains than in planes; higher in sleeper coaches than in AC coaches; higher in city bus than in private AC bus; higher in hot places than in cooler climates. In fact they increase with decreasing money in the pocket.
Two relatively poor people are prone to fight over such things more than two relatively rich people.
Guess everything is a fight for survival for us poor strata of people.
Fart by Heart
I am travelling via train to my hometown. Given the upcoming extra long weekend, the trains are bulging with passengers. Just as I settled in my seat and started to take a nap, I woke up with a nauseating smell.
My fellow passenger introduced us to the lunch he took earlier in the day. It was a sickening smell which left us looking for cover in true sense.
My head became heavy and heart beat a notch higher. Just as I tried to acclimatise, the next attack. I lost all my senses and the will to live.
Since all I can think now is fart, I thought to put it to creative use. How does the below things smell now?
1. Flip-fart
2. Fart-tey raho
3. Fart bina chain kaha re
4. Fart-ti utaaroon main
5. My fart will go on…
6. Fart-tiya ilaaz hai bhaisaab.
7. Deepak Chourasia Fart Tak
8. Aisa com-fart aur kahan
9. Fart se maar do isey
10. I like Fartists.
Phishing call: True Story
Friends, I got the below call yesterday.
Phone: Am I talking to Arpit Garg? a feminine voice enquired.
Me: Yes, speaking.
Phone: Sir, This is Rachna calling from ICICI bank. Your credit card is being replaced by a new Red Alert Credit Card, which preempts fraudulent transactions. I need to verify your existing card details to issue the new card.
Me: Is there any charge involved? I asked cautiously.
Phone: No Sir. This is card is absolutely free with no annual charges.
Me: No onetime or hidden charges? I asked again, having burnt my fingers a few times before.
Phone: No Sir. This is a free replacement. Can you tell me your date of birth for verification?
Me: ******
Phone: Thanks Sir. Can you confirm the expiry date of the card?
It started sounding fishy. No one from the bank has ever asked me for expiry date for verification.
Me: Can you please tell me the last four digits if my credit card. I want to check if you are from the bank after all.
Phone: Arpit Sir, I can’t tell you this till I verify your details. Please confirm me the expiry date of your card.
Me: **** I was reeled in for a min.
Phone: Thanks Sir. Can you confirm the issue date?
That did it for me.
Me: Sorry I am not carrying the card today.
Phone: Try and remember Sir. The new card can’t be issued without this verification.
Me: Sorry, I don’t recall the issue date.
Phone: Okay, when can I call you then?
Me: Call me tomorrow, same time. I hung up.
I called the bank in a hurry, afraid to have revealed the DOB and Expiry date of the card. The lady was quite convincing, I was deceived.
ICICI Bank: Hello Sir, This is Rajesh from ICICI bank, your wealth management officer. Thank you for calling from your registered mobile number. How can I help you?
Post initial verification. I told him the whole story.
ICICI Bank: Sir, it’s good that you didn’t divulge any details. We don’t have any such product.
As a precaution I got my card blocked. The next day, I got the call at the designated time. I was ready.
Phone: Hello Arpit sir, this is Rachna from ICICI bank. We talked yesterday. I need to verify your card details. Hope you are carrying your card today.
Me: Lady, I called ICICI bank and I know that you are a fraud. Where are you calling from?
“Beep…beep…beep”, she hung up.
I sent a mail to antiphising@icicibank.com reporting the incident and mentioning the two mobile numbers I got the call from. Incidentally one of them showed up as ICICI Bank on TrueCaller. Such was the attention to detail.
Beware from such calls and don’t reveal your details under any circumstance.
Update Sep 10: I have been receiving similar calls continuously from different numbers from Delhi claiming to be from ICICI Delhi office. Have forwarded details to ICICI bank. They have informed me that they are investigating it and also urged me to get in touch with Cyber Crime Police Cell. I told them I don’t have luxury of this much time.
दफ्तर
उत्तर दक्षिण, पूरब पक्षिम,
यहाँ बोध गया, यहाँ झाँसी है,
कुछ ऐसा है दफ्तर मेरा,
कुछ ऐसे इसके वासी हैं।
एक को है लड़की न मिलती,
हांफ-हांफ दूजे का बुरा हाल,
कोई ऊंचा है जैसे खम्बा,
गुसाए होत कोई जगदम्बा।
कोई दिखती है झांसी रानी,
कोई रोज़ सुनाता नयी कहानी,
एक बनता बड़ा है हिप हॉप,
सबको लगता पर लल्लन टॉप।
किसी को भ्रमण का चढ़ा शौक,
दूजा लगा वॉस-ऐप्प, जी-टॉक,
कोई अपने पे दम्भ दिखा रहा,
कोई जीवन जीना सिखा रहा।
हर बात पे एक रोता रहता,
दूजे की हसीं ही न रूकती,
वो गोलू मोलू बच्चे जैसा,
कोई करता है पैसा पैसा।
एक है रहता हर पल सोता,
दोनों बाजू वाले दादा पोता,
कोई खम्बे से प्यार जाता रहा,
कोई मेरे दिमाग की हटा रहा।
हर एक की है अपनी ही धुन,
सब खुश, न कोई उदासी है,
कुछ ऐसा है दफ्तर मेरा,
कुछ ऐसे इसके वासी हैं।।
Cardinal Sin and The Twisted Ankle
After a tiring day in Kolkata, me and a friend of mine decided to catch the late night show of Once upon a Time in Mumbai Dobara. We enquired about a theatre near our hotel and caught a ride.
I was standing in the ticket queue when something caught my eye. I don’t really know what it was, Was it the Smile, Was it the Innocence, Was it the Eyes, Was it the Dress. I just kept looking unaware of the world. There was this girl in green, with the Smile that puts Mona Lisa to shame, with the Innocence that defies this world, with the Eyes that penetrates the heart. It took me a while to realize she was with a guy and took a while more to realize that she was recently married, given the prominent Mehandi on her hands.
She was ahead of me in the queue, I bought the tickets and went inside. I lined up to buy some popcorn and there she was again, in the same queue. I was struggling hard not to gaze at her, given the consequences that could result in. The movie ended sometime later. I caught a glimpse of her during the interval. She was not just with her husband, but with full family.
Show got over at around 2 in the night. I strolled to the exit. There she was with her family. Perhaps my last chance to look at her. My friend had stopped a taxi and called out to me. I walked towards the taxi but kept looking sideways gazing her.
Just then I felt a jolt and fell down with an excruciating pain. I hadn’t noticed that I was crossing over from high footpath on to a low road. I had mis-stepped and badly twisted my ankle. I saw her getting into a car and fading away. For moment the pain stopped along with the time. As she went away the pain came back and I could see my friend bent over laughing.
If she was Eve, I just paid my dues for the Cardinal sin of Lust.
Freebies are Fishy: The lure of the missing handle
I have always been taught, if you are getting a good bargain, be cautious. There is nothing like free lunches. An advertisement by a leading telecom operator goes like, “It feels good when you get something extra”. I couldn’t agree more. But it is this good feeling that shrouds our judgment and tricks us.
More often than not you will find the devil disguised as an angel to lure you. If something seems too good, take extra precautions. There is a good chance that it will bite you.
This weekend I was in Kolkata for some urgent matter. I was to take an early morning flight back. As it happened, I twisted my ankle and was in no shape to reach the airport without help. A friend of mine, who was leaving the night before, dropped me at the airport in night itself. So I was there at airport at 12 am for a 6 am flight.
Slowly the exhaustion started to get better of me and I felt like lying down. There are no recliners like T3 at Kolkata airport, just a stack of chairs with separating handles. There is no way you can combine chairs to make a bed (have been my habit since college days, whenever I worked late in lab/office).
Something magical happened next or so I thought! Even with my twisted ankle and drowsy mind, I was able to notice an abnormality amidst one stack of chairs. One of the separating handle was not there. It combined two chairs. I galloped over there and was thrilled. I lied down. Peace. I remember before falling asleep, few people coming over to figure out how I managed to lie down and also remember their begrudged faces when they realized it’s by sheer luck. And so I slept.
Sleep I tell you is the sweetest thing, at the same time it can be the damnest. I slept and slept and slept. By some quirk of fate, I woke up and checked the time. Was it 5:35 already? Or was it a dream? No it was real. I was about to miss my flight. With my broken leg, I ran to collect my boarding pass. I was the last one. They took pity on me coz of my leg. I breezed through the security check and ran towards the boarding gate. Last and final call was going on for last 10 mins. Excited, I failed to locate the boarding gate. Trouble! I was on the wrong floor. I took the escalator down and skidded to the gate. It seemed so far away! Someone from the airlines staff realized my sorry state and came over to assist me. I was the last one to board.
Had it been 15-20 mins more of sleep, I would have missed my flight. Given my budget constraints of late, it wouldn’t have been a good thing.
Anyways the devil disguised as the lone missing handle lured me in and had almost had me. Next time when you feel special, beware! Someone might just have dialed 666.
Detroit Bankruptcy: What it means?
Detroit pitching for high profile bankruptcy evoked nostalgia, given that I was part of the investment bank, which was one of the high profile bankruptcies of the 21st Century. I have only read of the Russian default of the old, but seeing an entire city go bankrupt in our times, is entirely different.
Detroit is more significant as it was the boom baby, the once-mighty motor city and the pillar of American economy. The situation is also symbolic of declining manufacturing might of US (barring the Weaponry).
How does bankruptcy work for a city?
When a firm goes bankrupt, the assets are sold off and creditors paid off on basis of debt seniority. If Detroit goes bankrupt eventually, it may have to fire public employees. May have to sell off its properties, which includes government offices, public schools, parks and whatever city owns (not the private property). Legally speaking all of it might happen. But since it’s a city, with humanity and politics involved, it might not come down to this.
Newly appointed Emergency Manager of Detroit Kevyn Orr, has put together a plan to save the city. It can be read here. I have tried to summarize the plan and what holds for Detroit in the future.
How bad is the situation?
Population has declined from 1.8mil in 1950 to under 0.7mil in 2012, showing clear signs of decay. Unemployment rate has shot up from 7.3% in 2000 to 18.6% in 2012. Total number of employed people has gone down from around 350k in 2000 to 275k in 2012.
City tried by increasing taxes which resulted in businesses leaving and people migrating. Though tax %age got higher, the quantum of tax kept shrinking. To quote from the plan, “The City is currently levying all taxes at or near statutory maximum rates.”
Reduced security spending over last 10 years resulted in 40% job cuts in Detroit Police Dept. This has led to DPD’s response times getting extremely high. Crime rate has become highest in its population category. Add to this, ageing police cars and fire equipment.
Lack of maintenance has left 40% street lights non-working. Almost all public parks have been shut down (317 open parks around 5 years ago). Public transport has taken a beating due to unmaintained buses. Around 40,000 buildings have turned into dangerous structures sans repairs.
Estimated debt has ballooned to 18billion dollars. Citi has already deferred interest payments to creditors and contribution to pensioners. Bonds have no value anymore. Credit rating has plummeted from A in 2003 to CCC in 2012 (Courtesy Fitch Ratings)
Why is the need for bankruptcy?
It’s not exactly bankruptcy but protection from creditors till city restructures itself. In other words since Detroit does not have money to pay creditors and pensioners, it has to take some legal recourse to save itself from lawsuits demanding the same.
To quote from the plan, “The City cannot stabilize or pay creditors meaningful recoveries if it continues to shrink. Since the City will not generate sufficient cash to pay all liabilities, alternatives have to be considered. Need to reform the City government operations to improve efficiency and reduce costs.”
What’s in store post bankruptcy protection?
Well if City wants it can just deny paying its liabilities and no one can sue. It won’t be able to raise money by bonds and other resources as no one will be ready to lend. City will most surely increase Tax Rate forcing the remaining businesses to consider moving out of the city. It will further fire city employees to reduce operating costs, thereby shooting up unemployment rates.
How the future seems bleak is summarized by the following quote from the plan, “Where cost savings or service improvements can be achieved, the City will explore potential outsourcing of functions.”
For all I can say, its Gotham time for Detroit. Hope it finds its own Bruce Wayne.
Scared Humans
We humans are such afraid beings. We are afraid of sun, we are afraid of moon, we are afraid of rain, we are afraid of pain. In fact, one does not come to know how scared one is without experiencing it firsthand.
Last month I was facing acute pain in my right eye, right side of nose and right side in the mouth. I keep ignoring it as usual and allaying myself with pain killers. The regular excuses of “No time” and “It will be alright”.
One fine day, I was having lunch with a colleague of mine. I shared about this pain. He looked at me and bam, “Dude, you might have Bell’s Palsy”. I couldn’t properly understand the word at first. Quizzically, I looked towards him. He took out his cell phone and googled and explained it to me. It’s facial paralysis. He went on and on and one.
With his each passing explanation, I began to shudder. How long has the pain been? Is it only on one side or the whole face? Can you pinch your cheek to see if you feel anything? I was white with fear. All my excuses and machoness took a hike. I immediately called up the hospital nearby and took and appointment with a dentist and an ophthalmologist.
Fortunately it was just dryness in the eye, sore nose and sensitivity in the teeth. All three separate problems pounding at once causing a smokescreen of terror.
Anyway, the point is humans can be scared the easiest because we let our psyche get attached.
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