बेक़सूर दिल
कभी इधर, कभी उधर,
भटकातीं है मन मेरा,
सब गलतियां करती हैं हूर,
दिल का मेरे क्या कसूर।
खुद ने दिया इतना प्यार,
बाँट बाँट के थका हूँ मैं,
पर ख़त्म नहीं होता सुरूर,
दिल का मेरे क्या कसूर।
दुनिया ने किया बदनाम मुझे,
तितलियाँ पकड़ता तो बचपन से था,
ठरकी थोड़ा मैं था ज़रूर,
दिल का मेरे क्या कसूर।
आँखों से खिची चली आयीं,
इशारों तक बात नहीं आयी,
पर कभी मैंने न किया गुरूर,
दिल का मेरे क्या कसूर।
चाह नहीं, ठहराव नहीं,
रुका नहीं मैं किसके लिए,
अपनी धुन में रहता मगरूर,
दिल का मेरे क्या कसूर।
मैखाने के पैमाने से,
कुछ कसर नहीं रखी बाकी,
आखिर कुछ तो बहकेगा,
इसमें दिल का मेरे क्या है कसूर।।
जब मिली थी तुम पहली बार
न भूला मैं वो आखों का दीदार,
सकपकाहट औ सकुचाहट वो,
दबी सी हँसी, सीने पे वार,
जब मिली थी तुम पहली बार।
न भूला मैं वो उड़ती जुल्फें,
पलछिन करती सी पलकें,
सारी रात रहा बेकरार,
जब मिली थी तुम पहली बार।
न भूला मैं वो अंगुलियां,
दबोचे थे बाल जिससे मेरे,
हाथ ना आये, खाली वार,
जब मिली थी तुम पहली बार।
न भूला मैं वो लाली,
जो लबों पे छायी थी तेरे,
उसी पल गया था दिल को हार,
जब मिली थी तुम पहली बार।
न भूला मैं वो नयन तेरे,
कजरारे से, शरमाते से,
तपस्या मेरी करी तार-तार,
जब मिली थी तुम पहली बार।
न भूला मैं वो बातें तेरी,
जो मुझसे कर न पाती थी,
रहा है मुझे तबसे इंतज़ार,
जब मिली थी तुम पहली बार।
न भूला मैं वो इठलाना तेरा,
जो मन मेरा मचला जाता था,
हारा मैं मती, बन गया गवार,
जब मिली थी तुम पहली बार।
ऐसा ही रहे, न भूलूँ मैं,
तेरा एहसास, तेरी हर सांस,
जब देखूं तुझे, लगे मुझे ऐसा,
कि मिली हो तुम पहली बार।।
Worship Oneself: 330 million Gods
330 million. The number of Gods in Hindu mythology. It has always intrigued me. Who came up with this number? Why it is not 340 million or 350 million? Why is has to be 330 million?
I have been doing a bit of reading on this of late. I have not really understood the rationale behind this number. The only interpretation is that it represents infinity (a very large number). It is said that we do not have 330 million Gods, but 330 million gods. There is only one God, the unison of Holy Trinity, Brahma-Vishnu-Shiva. All other are demi-gods, who themselves worship God.
This very large number is used to represent that Hinduism believe everything is created by God and thus is divine. So everything we see (living/non-living) is divine. We worship all. Thus there is no concept of devil in Hinduism. As devil himself would have to be created by God and would thus be divine. In fact you will find that Shiva never differentiated between even good and bad people. Anyone who did tapasaya was granted a var. It led to even Shiva being threatened once, when he gave an Asura power to kill anybody and that Asura tried to kill Shiva himself.
Hence there is freedom in Hinduism to worship anything and anyone. We worship cows, sun, moon, flowers, stone, water etc. The list is endless. Thus all the egoists, who worship themselves, do nothing wrong. We are created by God and are ourselves divine. Self-worshipping not only takes less time buy also saves money.
Sachin’s Jersey No. 10
I have seen re-runs of last moments of Mumbai Test a dozen times already. Sachin’s farewell speech, weeping stadium, lap of honor, Sachin taking pitch’s blessing. It has all been a bit surreal. Unfortunately like million others, I couldn’t procure the tickets to the stadium, and I am sure it will haunt me for lifetime.
What is it that takes Sachin head and shoulders above the rest? Why we say that there can be no other Sachin? Well it originates from being a one man army. Before Sachin, Indians just watched cricket. With the advent of Sachin, Indians watched cricket to win. Sachin’s popularity stems from knocks like Sandstorm, Chennai Test, Hero Cup last over and innumerable others. Sachin had already earned eternal space even before 2000’s.
Yes, it was the 90’s that made Sachin God. When the inept teammates used to abjectly surrender, Sachin was there to steer through to win. When major players around him were selling matches, Sachin was the one who took it upon himself to see India won. 2000’s was when India started reaping benefits of what Tendulkar sowed. A generation of cricketers came who has seen Sachin’s bravery and was modeled upon him. Since 2000 there have been many who did match Sachin but were all “after the fact”. None had the originality, charisma or longevity of Sachin.
Legends are born out of adversity. But for 17/5, would Kapil Dev’s knock be the same? But for fixing scandal and all time low for Indian cricket, would Ganguly’s captaincy be equally revered? But for knack of losing finals, would Dhoni’s calmness that won us number of series, be so much talked about?
Since balance needs to be maintained. Sometimes I think, But for inept teammates of 90’s, would Sachin be the same? I think, 10 on Sachin’s jersey stood for the 10 teammates whom Sachin had to carry on his back to take India to victory.
Sachin’s Fan(atic)’s
The unique thing about Sachin is that everyone has an opinion about him. Such has been his presence that no one is left untouched. Maybe be that’s why he is regarded to be God. Though Sachin himself has said, “I am no God. God don’t make mistakes. I do“.
There is a common thing about highly revered personalities. It is the barrage of fans. Be it Gandhi, Mandela, Bradman earlier, Or Obama, Modi, Sachin in today’s times. Each one have/had huge number of people who followed them and revered them.
We don’t realize when this fan-hood turns into devotion which turns into fanaticism. Just try saying anything against Gandhi, Modi, Sachin and you would understand what I mean. You would be ganged upon and berated and made to wish that God wouldn’t have given you a tongue in the first place.
Fans are earned by hard work. And such fanatic fans are earned by hard work over a long period of time. Sometime these fans tend to go overboard. They end up giving bad names to their Hero. Modi fans demanding scalp of anyone and everyone who say anything against him, are doing bad for his image. They just don’t get it. So are Sachin fans.
I remember a conversation with a Belgian who had read a lot about Gandhi and was a great fan. We started discussing about Gandhi’s personal life. I told him few things that I didn’t like in Gandhi’s personal life. This guy felt offended and saw a devil in me for saying so. He ended up saying few things to me which I am sure Gandhi would have never said himself.
Sachin is/was always open to criticism. This is what makes him a Hero. His fans on the other hand are not open to any criticism. It takes away some sheen off Sachin and reflects badly on him. Sachin himself hasn’t spoken ill of anybody. His fans should follow the same if they are his real fans.
परदेसी
हवा का झोंका मध्यम-२,
अपने संग ले कुछ उड़ा,
एक गुलाबी पंखुड़ी सा,
फूल नहीं वो ख़त था तेरा।
खिड़की थी खुली हुई ऐसे,
बंद भी न मैं कर पाया,
फुर्ती से तो लपका मैं,
पर कम्बख्त उड़ता ही गया।
पढने को खोला भी न था,
देख-२ ही आहें भर पाया,
थोड़ी देर तो पीछे दौड़ा मैं,
पड़ा खुला मैदान भारी पर।
इतने दिन की आँख मिचोली,
एक चुरायी हुई हसीं,
दिया अचानक मुझको ख़त,
तूने जाने के आखरी दिन।
ख़त के साथ पता भी गया,
ढूंढूंगा तुझको कैसे अब,
किसी पराये शहर मैं,
यही सोच-२ के बैठा हूँ।
पर शायद अच्छा ही हुआ,
परदेसी से प्यार नहीं टिकता,
इस बात से ही खुश हो लूँगा,
आखिर तूने ख़त तो लिखा॥
औ मैं सो जाऊं
निकला था मंजिल की ओर,
अच्छा हो रास्ता खो जाऊं,
एक चाह अधूरी हो पूरी,
हो अँधेरा औ मैं सो जाऊं॥
हैं थकी थकी आँखें मेरी,
औ फटी फटी सी बातें हैं,
पूछ-२ पता मैं त्रस्त हुआ,
न ही मिले, अब यही दुआ॥
जब खाने को हो फ़क्त हवा,
औ पीने को आंसूं न कम हौं,
थर-२ कर काँपे देह मेरी,
चाहे भट्टी सी गरमाई हो॥
नाम ख़ाक, काहे की साख,
झुका के सर, औ कटा नाक,
केशों में रेंगती जूं भी अब,
मेरा लहू पीने से बचती है॥
देखा था सपना जो कभी,
बस धुंधला सा याद आता है,
ताश के पत्तों से बने महल,
क्या हवा का झोंका सह पाए?
जन्नत हैं जाना सब चाहते,
ऐसा हो जहन्नुम मैं जाऊं,
एक चाह अधूरी हो पूरी,
हो अँधेरा औ मैं सो जाऊं॥
BCCI and SA: Friendship Gone Wrong
Media reports concerning the divide between India and South Africa cricket boards have left me to wonder a thing of two about friendship. Ever since Gandhi happened, the two countries have remained close. Be it politics or cricket. What happened? How did things go sour?
Friendship is based on mutual trust and affection. I expect my friend to stand by me through thick and thin. I don’t expect my friend to judge me and side with the world to throw bricks at me. I expect my friend to be by my side, protecting me from those bricks. If my friend betrays me, the vengefulness is extreme.
I am not justifying either BCCI or SA cricket board. I am trying to find a reason what went wrong and how? It’s a known fact that Mr. Lorgat is not very much liked by BCCI. Just as SA board has every right to appoint him as its head, BCCI has every right not to like him. Once SA board sided with BCCI’s enemy, there was no going back. Would I like if my friend sides with the one who I share mistrust with? Wouldn’t I feel hurt?
As to the reasons for the mistrust between Mr. Lorgat and BCCI, I am no insider. But what has followed is the retribution. “Now you pay my friend for choosing my enemy over me”, seems to be the tone. Personally, I am not the one to hit back. I would simply severe all relations with this so called friend and move on with my life. But with cricket boards it’s not that simple. They have to deal with each other. So the best way is to confirm to the mandatory commitments and no go overboard.
BCCI is smart enough to know that. By shortening the time period of the tour, it is inching towards the minimum requirement of FTP (Future Tours Program) of the ICC, which I read is 2 Tests and 3 ODIs. Anything above that is for a friend. SA cricket board has to bear it for now. It too can reciprocate the same mandatory commitment when time comes.
Sad part is that a friendship of 20 years is in trouble and that my friend is not good.
Love and Rage: Alfred Hitchcock Presents
Yesterday night I was watching rerun of an episode of Alfred Hitchcock presents, a suspense TV series of the old. The story brought myriad of emotions in me. I felt compelled to narrate it in my own words to get some closure.
The story started with a woman of around thirty lying on a bed with a bandaged hand, too weak to get up, in a dimly lit room. She tried to remember where she was, but couldn’t. She then tried to account for what happened last. “Yes, I was waiting for Jack”, she got a bit of smile back thinking of him.
Jack came home and she fixed him a drink. She was feeling a bit tensed and anxious while holding the drink, Why? Oh yes, she was an alcoholic and have been off drink for some time. The Craving. But for his sake, she fought hard. “Darling lets go to a party tonight”, he said, taking her in his arms. “A party you said, but with all the people, all the drink around? I feel scared”. “I am sure you will be fine”, he assured her.
They entered the party. He had some urgent work with the hostess and went in to the study with her. She was feeling so scared and lonely in that room full of people, trying to resist the craving. But why was her hand bandaged? She still could not remember. A stranger offered her a drink but she declined. Where is Jack? What is he doing with her? Just then Jack came out arms in arms with the hostess. Something happened then, What was it? Yes, she threw a drink at the hostesses face, and then ran out crying.
Jack knocked at the door. He would be so angry. But he was not. “I am worried for you Martha, coz I love you”. “You love me after all what I have done today?” “Yes I love you dearly”. “Oh Jack, my Jack, I am sorry for everything. When I see you with other women, I can’t control it. And while resisting all that drink. I think I will go mad. What would all those people be thinking about you at the party? Let’s go back and undo the damage”. He smiled and they kissed. “Let’s get married”, he proposed. She was so happy.
How come she ended up in this dark room? “Nurse”, she called out. They went back to the party. He was having a conversation with the hostess and another woman. She went out to the balcony for some fresh air. The stranger came back. He turned out to be the brother of the hostess. “You see my sister over there with that man. She loves him like anything”. The rage came back. “She loves him, but they say, he is in love with another woman.” She blushed. “A woman, who they say is an alcoholic. The worst kind”, he went on. “They say it won’t be long before she goes back to her ways and he comes running to my sister”.
It was all true, isn’t it?. She needed a drink now. The craving was back. She gulped a double martini. After a couple of shots, she said, “Let’s go bar hopping”. Don’t know what took over her. They went from bar to bar, drinking like anything. She was in a mess. Jack came looking for her along with the hostess. She will take him away. She will take him away. Jack tried to hold her, but she was in a violent rage. “Leave me alone, I tell you, Leave me alone”, she threw herself around. Jack was not able to hold her. She fell down, broke the glass she was holding and hurt her hand. The reason for the bandage. There she was lying with a bloodied hand, pieces of glass and spilled drink. Jack bent down to pick her up.
A nurse entered the room. She felt less scared. “Nurse I am feeling better now. I want to leave the hospital”. Nurse looked amused, “You can’t leave lady. This isn’t exactly a hospital.” “What is this place then?” she asked confused. “Well this is the city jail”. “What???? Why am I here?” “You killed a man yesterday night, slit his throat with a piece of glass. A man named Jack Simmons”.
She felt like something ripped her from inside. She tried to cry but voice stopped in the tracks.
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