ArpitGarg's Weblog

An opinion of the world around me

Posts Tagged ‘women

Bengaluru to Delhi: Real reason behind the beastness

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black.jpgAnother New Year celebration showcased another round of incidents by rotten eggs of the society bringing shame to the nation. Then there were remarks by his highnesses and how so easily media changed the narrative. No one cared other than for TRP’s and hence no one dared to speak the real truth behind the dare of such beasts.

The real reason is the failure of law enforcement and the judiciary of India. If over the years such culprits had been caught and jailed in time and an example made out them, even the high and mighty would have thought twice. Local police stations do not register majority of such cases as they sully their record. Women are left with no option when the law enforcers say, “Madam yeh sab toh hota rehta hai, Jaane do”. Whatever cases do get registered, they take ages to come to conclusion. Women get no support from police, judiciary or the society, while the hooligans are out on bail, breaking the spirit and squeezing the fight out.

But no, who is concerned about the real issue, when the politicians and their apathetic remarks give the ready mix for high TRP’s. The high drama in the late night news shows and the society sleeps sound. Had the police and judiciary done its duty over the years, we would have seen a much better society.

Such selective outrages are good for getting adrenaline going, but what purpose do they serve? It’s been years, still Nirbhaya has not been avenged. The case has been moving through the damping by lanes of courts at snails pace. Want to bet on how long before the men arrested for Bengaluru are out on bail and how long before they are put in jail. I suggest, don’t bet me on it!

Written by arpitgarg

January 6, 2017 at 6:53 pm

Short skirts, safety and security

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skirt.jpgThe age we in is of discontent, anger and negativity. Some studies say that social media is to blame where negative bias has taken over. Negative news is more likely to be re-posted than a positive one. Over time this grows in magnitude. Anything we read, our first reaction is to find fault. Not everything the Govt. does is against women, against religions, against castes. But people like to play victim and make everything sound bad. Never do they try and understand why.

If we take a step back and analyze a particular thing from a logical and impartial point of view, most of the times we would see merit in it. Sometimes people are too afraid of the popular backlash that we feel safe in following the herd. Without knowing the context and ground realities we say what others are saying. And we fit right in. At times it is not politically correct to speak the truth hence we keep shut.

Once such issue is clothes worn by women in public in India. Whenever some authority figure urges women to not wear short and revealing clothes in public, he/she is castigated and character assassinated. Bigot, orthodox, obnoxious and what not. Never once people try and analyze the realities around that statement.

Let me relate the realities. India has a pathetic ratio of police to people. It is getting better day by day, but in its current form, we are not able to provide good policing. Law and order situation is real bad. I for one am supportive of women rights but am skeptical when it comes to safety. When I know the roads are not safe, would I wish women in my family to get harmed?

I agree, the pathetic mindset of men is to blame and not the women for wearing what they like. Yes, we as a society have failed. But it is a reality. Rather than living in a Utopian fantasy world, it’s better to know the ground.

Once the policing is better and there is ample safety, no one will suggest women what to wear and what not to. But someone has to point out the obvious albeit at the risk of being castigated. I would urge all women to see the locality you are living/going to. Stupid people will encourage you to wear short clothes and hail it as a victory of feminism. The victory of feminism will not change the reality on the ground.

I even tell people not to flaunt money if going to places where you feel less safe. Am I anti wealth? No, just using common sense. I might be called names for writing this, but what the hell. So much for being cautious!

Written by arpitgarg

April 21, 2016 at 9:53 am

Shani Shingnapur to Sabarimala: Is it really discrimination?

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shani.jpgThe fight for entry to women in Shani Temple and Sabarimala has reached Supreme Court. SC has asked the Govt. to ensure that women have access to entire premises of Shani Shingnapur temple. It’s not an easy topic to take sides. Political correctness urges us to blindly bad mouth temples, pujaris and the blatant discrimination. But is it really discrimination? And is the movement akin to suffrage?

Even at the time of suffrage movement, there were men who reasoned why women shouldn’t be allowed voting rights. We all know it was their chauvinism coupled with skewed beliefs imbibed since childhood, speaking. They couldn’t have been more wrong.

Is this temple movement the same? Let’s try and look at it with an open mind. On the face it looks like blatant discrimination and hence I decided to do some R&D. I have been to hundreds of temples through my life along with my parents. Never was my mother not allowed in the temple. Not never, I did visit Shani Shingnapur and my mother and sister were on the outer line, away from the raised platform. As per my understanding there are 4-5 temples in all (I might be slightly wrong), out of millions, that do not allow complete access to women.

Why are they termed discriminatory? For this we have to dig into the past. For a long time, scheduled castes were not allowed entry to temples. In fact they were not even allowed to access same wells. Total social ostracization. But it was the temple discrimination that made a lot of Dalit Hindus move to other faiths. After all what good is the God that can’t stop discrimination in his own home? It took a long time to eradicate such practices. With this background, any discrimination in temples is frowned upon.

Before going any further, I would again ask to keep an open mind, as things can get muddled very easily. Is there really someone behind all those temples; all those stones? Is the concept of thousands of Gods real? For the ones who believe in the concept of humanized Gods (majority of us), what more is left not to believe? We who believe in the logically stupid concept of worshipping stones are anyway gullible enough to believe in anything.

Women are not allowed entry to certain temples due to some reasons. They might sound insane. But given the context of worshipping stones, believe me they are very much sane. We worship Shiva Lingams (penis to be exact). We can be called stupid but are we discriminatory?

Coming to Shani Temple, Shani Dev is considered ominous. Most of us fear Shani ka Prakop. A lot of pujaris earn a lot of money doing Shani Pooja to ease off Shani. It’s a throbbing industry. Women are kept away from Shani to save them. The origin is not discrimination but protection. Those who don’t know the origin cry discrimination. Shani is in contrast to Sun. Sun stands for brightness, provides fertility to women. Shani is a bad dude. Even one glance from Shani Dev can do harm to fertility of women. That is the belief. Effect on male fertility is not clear. Males do Shani Pooja to keep Shani Dev off their family. They shield the women from ills of Shani. This is the origin. Again, you can call us stupid, but we are not discriminatory. We have Kamakhya Temple, where we basically worship women sexual part. Enough said. Period.

Now over to Sabarimala, it is Lord Ayappan’s shrine. He was a lifelong Brahmachari; a celibate. There is long story as to why we worship a celibate God. For our current context, knowing that he is Brahmachari should suffice. I have read a lot of articles where they mention that menstruating women being unclean are not allowed. This is wrong as it alludes to physical impurity. Menstruation is related to reproduction. Reproduction requires sexual activity. And here is where Celibacy of Lord Ayappan comes in. Hence women are not allowed. There are other stories too about how Ayappan did not marry a woman whose love remains unrequited etc etc. But all comes back to sex and celibacy. Now you can again call us stupid for the entire belief, but please not discriminatory. After all we worship a stone, that too a celibate one.

Similarly there is handful of temples where male entry is restricted. It goes back to what we believe is the origin of that particular God. It has nothing to do with discrimination. It has to do with stupidity. Some stupid people (agitating for allowing women) are fighting other stupid people (who feel its war against tradition). Both are not smart as far as I am concerned. As soon as they started believing in all those back-stories and all those Gods, they both lost the moral right to question each other.

If we believe in God, how can we question all the associated stupidities. Logically, concept of God is the biggest façade that can ever be. Either you believe in it or you don’t. Temple is a place where we worship stones, it’s not a picnic place.

To summarize: Stupid, Not Discriminatory.

Written by arpitgarg

April 14, 2016 at 2:44 am

Top 5 Tips for Girls to Gain Weight

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Of late size zero has become a phenomenon. Humanity has never lost so much weight in history as today. What girls tend to forget is that guys like curves. Slim figure is welcome but zero is not. Most thin girls have a phobia that by gaining weight they will look fat. First of all they should shed this inhibition. A little bit of chubbiness adds to the beauty anytime.

For all those single girls whom I have been able to brainwash into gaining weight by my above appeal, here are certain easy tips. Follow them and you will thrive and men will hover around like a beehive.

Tip No 1 – Find a Guy who lives alone
It’s quite easy to find a guy in metro cities who is working there and lives away from family alone. Such guys tend to eat out most of the times rather than cooking. You will start eating out too. Eating out regularly will add that missing kilos in no time.

Tip No 2 – Hit the bed long
Getting lots of sleep is one of the easiest ways to gain weight. A minimum of 8 hours sleep is necessary. Anything above is a bonus. This way weight gain would be like a dream come true.

Tip No 3 – Beer it
Over the centuries ‘Beer belly’ has been one of the most controversial phrase. But it works and how. Drink beer regularly for a month and you wouldn’t believe how lovely you look with those plum cheeks.

Tip No 4 – Don’t flunk the junk
Go junkie! Those Big Macs, fries, pizzas, pastas are a sure shot path towards glory. Never be scared of the food. Eat as much and as junk as you can.

Tip No 5 – Get married
Easiest of them all! Scientists have been wondering over the years as to why Indian women gain weight so quickly as soon as they get married. Regardless of the reason behind, it works. The only flip side is that you are married now.

Bonus Tip: Call me!

Written by arpitgarg

July 21, 2011 at 8:39 pm

The Sex called Fairer

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Have you ever wondered why females are called the fairer sex? What is the origin and meaning of the word fairer here? I have always wondered but given the attraction towards women, I never had any problem in calling them fairer. Never had inkling to doubt it for a second, lest I should earn their wrath. Well that’s fine for me given that I once surrendered the whole of Arunachal Pradesh to a Chinese girl. But I know you sons of the soil would not sit still, till you have un-earthed the reason. So here’s it for you.

There are numerous explanations floating around, given that the phrase is quite old and with time people tend to make their own theories.

First Men found women more attractive as compared to other men. They were more pleasant to look at. Fairer here was used as a tool for flattery. The croaking of the frogs! Simply put, women are prettier than men. I agree.

Second Wealthy European women used to remain indoors, avoid sun and thus remained pale. Their skin color was of a light hue and not dark. The fair color, over the working females, showed their wealth and prosperity.

Third It is a sexist term. With the division of sexes between male and female, various properties came to be associated with each. When men were considered “the better” and “the sterner” sex; women were “the fairer”, “the gentler” and “the softener” sex. Thus fairer differentiated women from hard-working, rugged, tough, dirty, hairy men.

Given this explanation it’s rather surprising how the sexist words of the old have found respectable places into our modern and rather tolerant society. There’s a contention here too. According to a research, women were far more involved in the atrocities committed during the Holocaust than previously thought. A doubt has been raised about them being really fair.

Fourth There’s an interesting anthropological angle to this. Girls are fairer haired after puberty than boys, hence the usage. Though I am not too sure about it personally.

Fifth Girls are better than men in taking ethical decisions given that they are “fairer” in their choices. Well, I will let the readers decide on this one!

Media: right or WRONG

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Last week a leading news channel was seen patting its back. It carried out an operation in Delhi. A female reporter walked on the road alone during the night to catch the person/persons who tried to take advantage of her.

One must say that this was a clear master stoke. However there seems to be a flaw. It served no positive purpose other than to add to the TRP of the news channel. On the hindsight it did some harm.

Firstly, let me go into as to why nothing positive came out of it. “Are the women safe at night?” is one such question as, “Is cigarette smoking not injurious to health”. Come’ on all of us know that answer to both the questions is a stern NO. What the channel tried to do by proving a well known fact, is far from my understanding. In fact a few days ago, even the Delhi CM agreed that roads are not safe for the females at night. Had the issue been “how this should be resolved”, channel should have been patted. It would have helped creating a better environment. But I guess, it’s easier to be a part of the problem than to be of the solution.

Secondly, why it did some harm? Consider the scenario that the car of a lady broke down at night. Now would anyone stop to help her? I think not. He would be more worried that if the lady turns out to be a reporter in disguise, he would be shown on television as a beast trying to take advantage of a stranded girl. This number would be much higher than the number of real criminals who would turn away due to the fear of being exposed. So in effect it would do more harm than good.

Written by arpitgarg

October 13, 2008 at 12:58 pm

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