ArpitGarg's Weblog

An opinion of the world around me

Posts Tagged ‘eat

Top 5 Tips for Girls to Gain Weight

with 18 comments

Of late size zero has become a phenomenon. Humanity has never lost so much weight in history as today. What girls tend to forget is that guys like curves. Slim figure is welcome but zero is not. Most thin girls have a phobia that by gaining weight they will look fat. First of all they should shed this inhibition. A little bit of chubbiness adds to the beauty anytime.

For all those single girls whom I have been able to brainwash into gaining weight by my above appeal, here are certain easy tips. Follow them and you will thrive and men will hover around like a beehive.

Tip No 1 – Find a Guy who lives alone
It’s quite easy to find a guy in metro cities who is working there and lives away from family alone. Such guys tend to eat out most of the times rather than cooking. You will start eating out too. Eating out regularly will add that missing kilos in no time.

Tip No 2 – Hit the bed long
Getting lots of sleep is one of the easiest ways to gain weight. A minimum of 8 hours sleep is necessary. Anything above is a bonus. This way weight gain would be like a dream come true.

Tip No 3 – Beer it
Over the centuries ‘Beer belly’ has been one of the most controversial phrase. But it works and how. Drink beer regularly for a month and you wouldn’t believe how lovely you look with those plum cheeks.

Tip No 4 – Don’t flunk the junk
Go junkie! Those Big Macs, fries, pizzas, pastas are a sure shot path towards glory. Never be scared of the food. Eat as much and as junk as you can.

Tip No 5 – Get married
Easiest of them all! Scientists have been wondering over the years as to why Indian women gain weight so quickly as soon as they get married. Regardless of the reason behind, it works. The only flip side is that you are married now.

Bonus Tip: Call me!

Written by arpitgarg

July 21, 2011 at 8:39 pm

How to ease the tension?

with 2 comments

Oxford dictionary describes tension to be a mental or emotional strain. To cope with it, we all do some weird things. Some eat a lot. Some starve themselves. Some want to be left alone. Some like to party. Some smoke. Some drink. Some sleep. Some fall prey to insomnia. Guess some things are aberrant to cause and effect.

As for me, I stuff myself with food when tense. I am no medical expert but my guess is that more oxygen is needed to digest the excess food gobbled up. This extra demand of oxygen must for sure be met by diverting some blood flow from my darn brain to the belly. This might be shutting of some brain activity and helping me overcome tense thoughts. I would opt for a dead brain any day, but that’s me!

When food can’t be ordered say at the dead of the night, I opt for the next best option. Start typing whatever gibberish comes to my mind. It’s around 1:30 in the night now. All junk food is finished and I don’t have anything else but to write. Funny I can’t pinpoint the reason why I am tense. This further adds to uneasiness.

Anxiety is the exactly what I have right now. In fact for the last couple of weeks my mind has not been at peace exactly. How would I love the day when I be Joey and my brain will read blank…blank…blank…blank…blank. Void of all thoughts; bereft of any tension, if at all momentary. Alas! It’s not to be.

Written by arpitgarg

April 20, 2011 at 2:20 am

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