Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category
Over Sell
I have heard this a few times in my life, “Don’t over sell”. They say it has a negative effect. Instead of the desired increased value, the product at times is relegated to the junk grade. When we oversell things, we try and convince the buyer of all the good qualities of the product. We try and try and try. And try and try and try. We think that if we keep coming back hard, the buyer will show interest. Might even offer the inflated price we demand.
We are driven here by our own psychology. Under the trance of making money, we tend to overlook the customers mindset. What we don’t realize is our persistence will in turn make the other person skeptical. It also gives a sense of security that we are not able to sell it elsewhere. This becomes a sore point. If one does not have to fight and bargain for something, it sounds less sweet.
A better way is no hard-sell, no bargain. Just like in the supermarkets. Products are displayed with pricetags. You like it; you drop it in your shopping cart. No one tries to convince you; No one is after your life.
Similar is the case with relationships. When you are in love with someone and the other person is not responding equally, you tend to woo him/her. It starts with the presents. Doing what he/she likes; trying to impress; Making jokes and what not. The fact they don’t have to try a bit and got you all on the platter, never gives them a sense of insecurity. A sense of insecurity which is vital for relationships to remain alive.
In adversity, you might find the other person being just that, “The Other”. “You won’t understand”. “I will talk to my family, when I get time”. “It’s not proper this way”. ”No…no…no…no…no”. “My family has seen a lot of sadness; I can’t bring another one upon them”. “What my father said is right. You just don’t get it out of your myopic view”. “You have no right to say anything against my sister. What she said is correct”. “I need more time”. “I can’t commit unless my father agrees”. “I have promises to keep with my family”. “You don’t listen to me. You won’t ever listen to me”.
They pound you and pound you and pound you. Till the last drop of love and compassion drips out of you. You become dead inside. You just stroll along. You still care for the person, enough to get going. But love? Not sure how much left. One positive though, you become what you wished all along; someone unaffected by emotions. That’s the evolution of humans. We grow immunity to prolonged sicknesses.
Cardinal Sin and The Twisted Ankle
After a tiring day in Kolkata, me and a friend of mine decided to catch the late night show of Once upon a Time in Mumbai Dobara. We enquired about a theatre near our hotel and caught a ride.
I was standing in the ticket queue when something caught my eye. I don’t really know what it was, Was it the Smile, Was it the Innocence, Was it the Eyes, Was it the Dress. I just kept looking unaware of the world. There was this girl in green, with the Smile that puts Mona Lisa to shame, with the Innocence that defies this world, with the Eyes that penetrates the heart. It took me a while to realize she was with a guy and took a while more to realize that she was recently married, given the prominent Mehandi on her hands.
She was ahead of me in the queue, I bought the tickets and went inside. I lined up to buy some popcorn and there she was again, in the same queue. I was struggling hard not to gaze at her, given the consequences that could result in. The movie ended sometime later. I caught a glimpse of her during the interval. She was not just with her husband, but with full family.
Show got over at around 2 in the night. I strolled to the exit. There she was with her family. Perhaps my last chance to look at her. My friend had stopped a taxi and called out to me. I walked towards the taxi but kept looking sideways gazing her.
Just then I felt a jolt and fell down with an excruciating pain. I hadn’t noticed that I was crossing over from high footpath on to a low road. I had mis-stepped and badly twisted my ankle. I saw her getting into a car and fading away. For moment the pain stopped along with the time. As she went away the pain came back and I could see my friend bent over laughing.
If she was Eve, I just paid my dues for the Cardinal sin of Lust.
The Others
As we grow up, we imbibe what we see around. Our beliefs, our personality are a sum total of what we gather over the formative years from people we meet. A part of it also comes from our own cognitive makeup, where we accept, reject, and modify what is thrown to us. This is what makes an individual.
In various chunks of our life, we meet certain people; stay at a particular place before moving on to new place and new people. School/College/Changing Jobs. All these make up the said chunks in our life. We try and adjust to our surroundings as we see them; we try and adjust to people as we meet them. This is what we call acclimatization.
Sometime what happens is we try and adjust too much, as our fears get better of us. Fear of not being accepted, fear of being out casted, fear of being ridiculed. These fears start shaping our personality from then on. Sometimes it’s not even fear, it’s just that we are short on confidence, so we try and blend in and follow without asking.
What we don’t realize is it’s affecting our individuality. It might make our stay in the current chunk feel better, but it jeopardizes the upcoming chunks in our life. Due to our fears we make certain compromises and pay for these compromises all our life.
For example when we are in college, we do a lot of things due to peer pressure. Drink, Smoke, Career choices are few of such things. What we don’t realize is the peer group that we are succumbing too, is just for the current chunk of our life, it won’t stay with us forever, but the choices we make due to it, will haunt us for life.
It’s important to use our cognitive machinery a lot more while imbibing from our surroundings. Always think of long term impact of our choices. Never ever do things to please others. Let them take a hike.
The immortality of Maggi
The immortality of Maggi comes to fore time and again. Just when we forget all about the existence, it rises from the ashes to become part of life once again.
Maggi has been a phenomenon which has touched everyone alike. It transcends through age and gender. Ask a child, a college student, a working bachelor. A lot of imitators have sprung up over the time but none been able to come even near.
What is it about Maggi then? The flavor for once; the mouth watering Maggi tastemaker. It’s heaven. Next is the companionship in thick and thin. It unites among diversity. It’s home away from home. When I went to college, Maggi never let me feel away. When I am travelling to diverse places, I have my staple with me.
Of late I drifted away from it and got into bad habit of eating so called healthy food. I can never apologize enough to you My Dear. But you never deserted me. WhenI was hungry that night, you came to my rescue. You let me sleep peacefully.
To be true, however hard I try to find reasons why I like Maggi, I can’t find many. Maybe that’s the magic, that’s the secret. It just is immortal. It just is Meri Maggi. Cause and Effect can take a hike for once.
Herogiri Mellowed
I feel like I am getting old. People around me call it maturity. Whatever it be, the aggression is taming down. There one good thing though. Adjusting to this new behavioral trait might be strange but it is nowhere uncomfortable.
Let me give a bit of the background to explain it better. I have been a kind of person who you can call moody, rude and even insane. I have rubbed people the wrong way in a fit of mood. But somehow with time, I find myself becoming passive. Things don’t bother me the way they used to. Prioritisation.
Just last day, a senior person in my firm called me and asked me to close the top button of my shirt. The thing is I feel kind of suffocated with the top button in my shirt tied. However instead of explaining my point of view and going into an argument, I simply closed it and smiled back.
I have never liked being dictated to. In fact such an incident would have insesnsed me, but I feel nothing but calm. You know an year back too someone asked the same thing, I leaned forward and asked the person to go ahead and close it himself. Kinda rude but that’s how I was.
Anyways, as of today, I just don’t like arguing with people. It’s a grand waste of time. I have better things to do. On my way to salvation!
Addicted
I have an admission to make,
I have a problem,
It took some time to realize,
I am addicted to you.
I close my eyes and there you are,
I open my eyes and there you are,
Like a shadow you follow me,
I am addicted to you.
When you hurt me,
It makes me long for you more,
You give pain, I enjoy,
I am addicted to you.
I tried therapy, no help,
I tried ignoring you, more pain,
It just is not going away,
I am addicted to you.
The smell, Oh! The sweet smell,
I can’t fathom something else,
The smile, glows my day,
I am addicted to you.
There were times when,
I tried to forget you, hurt deep,
Ended up memorizing more,
I am addicted to you.
There seems no hope, hopeless,
Not sure if you will stand by me,
Still I can’t dare leave,
I am addicted to you.
Not tough but not easy
After four and half long years in Mumbai, I decided to move to Pune. I have been with the same firm, same colleagues, same house and same city for long. Moving has been far from easy. Emotionally. Everything that we have lived for sometime becomes part of a habit. The craving is immense.
By comparision leaving home for college and leaving college for job was pretty easy. But moving to a new city now has not been. It made me wonder why. There can be a few reasons to it. The life in Mumbai has been the one that I have created for myself. Every brick in the wall chosen by me. Every color in the dream filled by me. This has been my life. But then again I might be just getting old and interia seems to be taking effect.
On the other hand movement has become a part of modern life. It’s part of survival. Better pay, better job, hope of better future. As I said, it has not been easy but not been entirely tough. Globalization helps. New office doesn’t seem like new. New place doesn’t seem like new. Offices are clones of each other. Cities are clones of each other. Same brands, same shopping places, same eating joints. It doesn’t feel entirely different.
As for me, I am well settled in a week. Got a place to stay, Got my things moved here and am good to go. Modern life has it’s poisons but the good thing is anti-dote is provided beforehand.
Scared Humans
We humans are such afraid beings. We are afraid of sun, we are afraid of moon, we are afraid of rain, we are afraid of pain. In fact, one does not come to know how scared one is without experiencing it firsthand.
Last month I was facing acute pain in my right eye, right side of nose and right side in the mouth. I keep ignoring it as usual and allaying myself with pain killers. The regular excuses of “No time” and “It will be alright”.
One fine day, I was having lunch with a colleague of mine. I shared about this pain. He looked at me and bam, “Dude, you might have Bell’s Palsy”. I couldn’t properly understand the word at first. Quizzically, I looked towards him. He took out his cell phone and googled and explained it to me. It’s facial paralysis. He went on and on and one.
With his each passing explanation, I began to shudder. How long has the pain been? Is it only on one side or the whole face? Can you pinch your cheek to see if you feel anything? I was white with fear. All my excuses and machoness took a hike. I immediately called up the hospital nearby and took and appointment with a dentist and an ophthalmologist.
Fortunately it was just dryness in the eye, sore nose and sensitivity in the teeth. All three separate problems pounding at once causing a smokescreen of terror.
Anyway, the point is humans can be scared the easiest because we let our psyche get attached.
Years in Wilderness
Have been around a month since I jotted something down. And no I was not on a break. Last couple of months I have experienced something new and refreshing.
All my life I was lectured upon for lack of it. “You have the potential but lack that thing”. To be frank, I always laughed it away. Either I didn’t understand what was said, or was in denial. What I am talking about is the virtue of hard work.
I would be the first person to admit that I have never ever put myself through the grind. Everything that I had done to-date has been a natural flow.
Last couple of months I have come face to face with hard work. And I can’t explain in words, the feeling. It’s celestial. Earlier I used to wake up and go to office, lacking any excitement. It was just a routine. Now I am eager to go to office as I am eager to take on the work. I find pleasure working.
I was trying to figure out the reason for it. To a certain extent it’s again something I avoided to date. It’s called in depth knowledge. I prided myself to be jack of all trades, a versatile sort of. You know it’s nice to be jack of all, but in today’s day and time you got to be master of something. You have to go through the grind to become one and it’s not always pleasant.
I read it a long back what I have understood only now, “Most of the tensions in present day life come if you are not good at what you do”. Give your 100% to what you are doing, or don’t do it at all. Be the master at your work, your whole life will be a smooth ride.
I have promised myself to make up for the lost years. Got to rush. Have some work. Ciao!
मानेगा रब
शाम थी कुछ अनजान,
थम सा गया था समां,
दूर कहीं एक अहाट थी,
दस्तक देने को तयार|
बेरंग जिंदगी थी जो मेरी,
तेरी नजरों को चुभ सी गयी,
हुई तभी से तू इसमें,
रंग भरने को तत्पर|
तेरी मुस्कराहट में ऐसा खोया,
आज तलक न मिल पाया,
डूब डूब कर मैं जानूं,
सच है, कोई ख्वाब नहीं|
परछाई से भी डरता था,
अब हठ कर ऐसा ऐंठा है,
बिन तेरे सब कुछ सून सून,
संग में ही जीवन जीना है|
गोभी का वो फूल नहीं,
दिल था मेरा जो तुझे दिया,
तू रूठ रूठ के मान गयी,
मैं मना मना कर थका नहीं|
एक झल्ली सी पहली बार लगी,
तेरी लट में, मैं अटक गया,
तब कमर पे तेरे हाथ रखा जो,
आज तक वहीँ रखा है देख|
कुछ गम था ऐसी बात नहीं,
कुछ कम था पर जज्बात सही,
कुछ नम फिर तेरे लिए हुआ,
कुछ थम गया, समय था वो|
तेरी गर्दन पे स्नेह किया,
प्यार से तू करहा थी गयी,
मीनू, रिंकू औ पिंकी सब,
जाने कब मेरे अपने हुए|
लबों की तेरी लाली थी,
मेरे लबों पर चमकी देख,
तेरे मुहं का स्वाद भी अब,
मुझको रह रहकर आता है|
साँसों की तेरी गरम हवा,
मेरी साँसों से टकराई जब,
झुक गए सारे नैन तभी,
सीने से तुझको लगा लिया|
छुपा ले अपने आँचल में,
यह दुनिया सब बेगानी है,
संग तेरे जो जीना पड़े मुझे,
वो जीवन मुझे बेमानी है|
एक बार जो थामा हाथ तेरा,
एक बार जो तुझको स्नेह किया,
अनंत तक न छूटेगा अब,
चाहें न मानें सब, मानेगा पर रब||
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