ArpitGarg's Weblog

There is a saying “Man by nature is a social animal”. I agree with the animal part at least, can’t say much about being social. Then again, I might be wrong. Recently I read in a newspaper that now women can also be booked under domestic violence charge. How liberating! One field which we men considered our monopoly has been taken away. What are we without the rage, the anger, the violence? Anyways, I don’t think any of the men will come forward with such a complain Coz in our society what place is there for a man who has been domesticated violently by a woman and needed law to save him.

To be true Men have been subjected to domestic violence for long. Despite this and the fact that most of the lawmakers have been men, why was such an initiative never taken earlier? The answer is the male ego. It’s very hard for us to concede that we could be subjected to violence, that too by a woman. After all We are the boss, aren’ we?.

This leads me a critical question. Who really is the boss of the family? Most of us would answer, The Male. Well you wouldn’t be far from truth. Man is looked upon as the provider and the face of the family, The Head. The child is known by his father’s name. It’s always been Mr. X and his family. Mr. X comes first and the family tags behind.

Has it been so from the inception? Well this took me to some digging. And the answer lies from where I started. Man being an animal. In earlier times, humans used to live in “groups” for fear of being attacked by animals, we being lot weaker than others. Just like animals today, there was no bondage of a male and a female for life. Everyone slept with everyone. So you see, it was never quite clear who the father of the child was? So child was known by the name of the mother and was fathered by most of the group males. The female was the lead and the most powerful. She was looked upon as one who took the group forward by providing offspring, The Provider. Gathering food, taking care of protection of the group were mere laborious.

With time humans prospered. They stopped being gregarious and Man being stronger felt to show supremacy. One man-One Woman concept became vogue. Child now had a uniquely identifiable father, could be named after him. Man became the lead, the head.

So evidently it’s the offspring who decides who the boss is. Earlier offspring could be identified by the mother, so female was the head, now it could be identified by the father, so male is the boss. So in effect the saying that, “Child is the father of Man” takes precedence here too.

P.S: To all those fellow men who have been victims of domestic violence, do visit, Battered Men.