No Country for Emotional Men
“Real Men do cry”. This has almost become a modern cliché. Of the past, men were considered to be this hunk, who were strong physically and emotionally. They seldom broke down, could take right decisions even in traversity and could carry the family on their shoulders. Of late this perception has changed. Emotional sides of men have come to the fore. They do cry, they do break, they do are humans.
How does our society behave with these mortal beings? How does the emotional men treated? Well not quite well to be frank.
What I have observed is, however we may evolve, however we say its fine for men to be emotional, the truth is ‘emotions’ and ‘show of it’ is considered by and large a weakness. On your face nobody would say anything, but you would be mocked behind your backs and the worst part is, at the next opportune moment, you would be ripped off and your emotions en-cashed.
Not only people who don’t matter to you, but also the people who matter to you a lot, your friends and family, will chance upon. Might not be music to your ears but it’s true.
How many times have we seen parents trying ‘emotional blackmail’ just because they know their ward is an emotional fool? How many times did your girl fake cried just because she knows you will break? How many time a colleague told an emotional story just to get some money out of you? It’s all a big hoax.
The thing is, there is no place for emotions in this cruel-cruel world. None outside, None inside. Especially, if you are men. My tip would be to keep to yourself, not let anyone in your emotional side. Not unless you want to be short changed.
People will try to make a fool out of you, just because they can. No other reason.
Years in Wilderness
Have been around a month since I jotted something down. And no I was not on a break. Last couple of months I have experienced something new and refreshing.
All my life I was lectured upon for lack of it. “You have the potential but lack that thing”. To be frank, I always laughed it away. Either I didn’t understand what was said, or was in denial. What I am talking about is the virtue of hard work.
I would be the first person to admit that I have never ever put myself through the grind. Everything that I had done to-date has been a natural flow.
Last couple of months I have come face to face with hard work. And I can’t explain in words, the feeling. It’s celestial. Earlier I used to wake up and go to office, lacking any excitement. It was just a routine. Now I am eager to go to office as I am eager to take on the work. I find pleasure working.
I was trying to figure out the reason for it. To a certain extent it’s again something I avoided to date. It’s called in depth knowledge. I prided myself to be jack of all trades, a versatile sort of. You know it’s nice to be jack of all, but in today’s day and time you got to be master of something. You have to go through the grind to become one and it’s not always pleasant.
I read it a long back what I have understood only now, “Most of the tensions in present day life come if you are not good at what you do”. Give your 100% to what you are doing, or don’t do it at all. Be the master at your work, your whole life will be a smooth ride.
I have promised myself to make up for the lost years. Got to rush. Have some work. Ciao!
पता चल न पाता कभी
दिल का धड़कना होता है क्या,
सांसें आखिर कैसे चढ़ जाती है,
नींद रातों की कैसे जाती है गुम,
तू न मिलती, पता चल न पाता कभी|
लटों की उलझन में फसना है क्या,
डूबकर आँखों में तैरते कैसे हैं,
मार खाने में आता है कैसा मज़ा,
तू न मिलती, पता चल न पाता कभी|
रात दिन, एक कैसे जाते हैं हो,
भूख लगती है, खा क्यों न पाते हैं हम,
एक चेहरे में पहर कैसे कट जाते हैं,
तू न मिलती, पता चल न पाता कभी|
रिश्ते नाते सब गैर लगते हैं क्यों,
क्यों बेगाना ज़माना ये हो जाता है,
प्यार भी सबका लानत क्यों लगने लगा,
तू न मिलती, पता चल न पाता कभी|
सर्द रातों की गर्मी में तपना है क्या,
चंद बातों में दुनिया का बसना है क्या,
चाँद तारे तोड़कर कैसे लाते हैं सब,
तू न मिलती, पता चल न पाता कभी|
इजहार-ऐ मोहब्बत होती है क्या.
कैसे दर्द-ऐ-जुदाई तड़पा जाती है,
प्यार का रंग खूनी लगता है क्यों,
तू न मिलती, पता चल न पाता कभी||
miao
An Open Letter to Akhilesh Yadav
Dear Sir,
Let me congratulate you and your party for winning the UP elections fair and square. Fair as in you made no promises of reservation, you replaced tainted nominees, you promised growth. Square is for all to see in the number of seats you garnered.
You have been a fresh face in UP politics in some time and people have taken a liking to you. With no disrespect to your father, this referendum is yours and yours alone. Whether you decide to be Chief Minister or not, is a trivial matter. There are some serious issues at hand which requires your consideration than the anointment.
Development of UP has been stagnant for as long as I remember. We were promised flyover at by-pass Agra. It has been decade since and traffic looks like war-front these days. I would request you to look into the development of roads on priority. Better transportation converts into good business and growth.
Next would be to create jobs in the Tier-2/3. Apart from Noida, I can’t name any other city where jobs have been created at such pace. Create atmosphere conducive to IT and other industries. Lure them in like Gujarat and Bihar.
This might prick a bit Sir, The Gundaraj. Your party has been infamous for propagating the same. Your party had been accused of converting universities into breeding ground for strong men. I hope you would do different this time. Make mafia shiver in your rein. Please allow competition and bring an end to one-upmanship of notorious characters like Ponty Chadda.
Bring pride back to UP. No one should be able to address our state as breeder of migrant labor, hub of corruption and den of poverty. People should be forced to respect UP with the level of development you bring in.
I know it’s a long and hard journey. But we are with you Sir. Your detractors would want you to fall, aam-junta too fear of being disappointed once again. Prove us all wrong and make Uttar Pradesh, an Uttam Pradesh.
Arpit
Ek Main Aur Ek Tu: Seriously!
Recently I saw Ek Main Aur Ek Tu (EMAET) featuring Imran (Rahul) and Kareena (Riana). It was tad slow but a good time pass. The movie was meandering towards an expected finale when the director decided to surprise us. Under the pretext of mature ending, Rahul and Riana decided to be Just Friends.
I couldn’t help but LOL literally. How do people let themselves be manipulated like this? Rahul was happy with his life at the end. He was fine with continuing his friendship in the hope of she agreeing to marriage someday. I have serious issues with people who use this Just Friends after egging the other person on. I have further issues with guys/girls who let themselves into this honey trap.
What I hate is Friendship being insulted, which for me is one of the most sacred relationships. If it’s Friendship, it should not be affected by gender. Right? A friend can be a guy or a girl; one should have similar dedication and feeling towards him/her if they are just friends. Agreed? However most of the people never stick to it. The least they can do is be honest about it.
“He took me out for dinner to Taj last night. He is just a friend of mine”. Huh! First of all there are no free lunches dear. Would he have taken a male friend of his to an equally lavish dinner at Taj? Everyone knows the answer. Stop justifying and just admit that you too were leading on.
In EMAET, Rahul is highly ignorant, or we can say he is too blind in love. He is happy at that very moment coz the girl he loves is there to give him company and he hopes that she will marry him someday. What he doesn’t understand is that Riana has specifically explained her position of being Just Friends. Hence she has no commitment and she needs to give no reason for the break-up. What would happen if one day Riana comes and says, “Hi Rahul meet my boyfriend James”. She would have committed no sin, after all she had already told him that they are nothing more than friends and that’s that.
What would happen to Rahul then? He will be devastated. During a breakup, at least you get to know a reason, you argue, fight and split. Here it’s simple plain stupidity. He won’t even be able to ask Why? This is what happens when a guy who has never been in a relationship gets smitten by a girl who has been in string of relationships and vice-versa. To top of it, throw in Just Friends and you being blind in love try to live in the moment and accept it.
It was one of the silliest ending I could have imagined. In real life, guys like Rahul deserve all the pain and agony they face, coz they are that stupid. He should have moved on when he had a fight. If he decided to be just friend, he should have quashed all hopes of the marriage, started afresh.
Anyways for me the ending turned out to be fun and I had a good days’ laugh. Also it gave me a topic to write about.
जीवन जीना क्या है
कुछ दिन से सोच रहा था कि लिख डालूँ,
आते आते हाथ पे बात रुक जाती थी पर,
कुछ खट्टे मीठे अनुभव हुए हाल में,
उनसे मैंने जाना, जीवन जीना क्या है|
गर उस रोज़ सड़क से मैं गुजरा न होता,
मौत को अपनी बाहों में सिमटा न होता,
खून का रंग लाल कभी जान न पाता,
मृत्यु क्या होती अकाल पहचान न पाता|
उस दिन गर मैं भूखा सोया न होता,
करवट बदल बदल तडपा रोया न होता,
बेकारी क्या होती है, चुभ न पाती,
पी कर पानी भी डकार कभी न आती|
उस दिन उस कुकुर ने नोचा न होता,
मैंने अगर उसे गुस्से से दुत्कारा न होता,
पता न चल पाता कि अपना होता क्या है,
दुलार दुत्कार में अंतर न कभी मैं पाता|
उस दिन उस पीड़ित को गर छोड़ा न होता,
कराह कि आह को कभी महसूस न पाता,
धूप छाँव पैसे से जो सब एक हुई थी, बदली,
पैरों के छाले क्या होते मैंने आखिर जाना|
सन्नाटे की आहट से मैं गुजरा न होता,
उस सर्द भरी रात में गर ठिठुरा न होता,
नंग, ठण्ड की तपन से मैं वाकिफ न होता,
पल पल लुटने के डर से सहमा न होता|
पर जो कुछ भी हो, आग से गुजर के देखा,
बिन खडाऊं के काटों पर चलकर देखा,
गहरे पानी में सांसों की तड़प को देखा ,
औ चक्की के दो पाटों में पिसकर देखा|
कुछ दिन से सोच रहा था कि लिख डालूँ,
आते आते हाथ पे बात रुक जाती थी पर,
कुछ खट्टे मीठे अनुभव हुए हाल में,
उनसे मैंने जाना, जीवन जीना क्या है||
Sunny Leone and Swadeshi
“The way characters like Sunny Leone are being celebrated and thrust upon us socially, incidents like this were just waiting to happen”, quipped a lady friend of mine, seemingly annoyed with what has happened in Karnataka Assembly.
The literati of India has always supported making pornography legal, citing bans to be signs of cultural repression aka Taliban. The people who go lengths as to how porn is an art and as to why restrictions surrounding it must go, fall short of answering one question, “Do they share same views with respect to a porn star”.
Will they encourage their children to take up this profession, the way they would encourage them to become say a cricketer or a film star? We don’t even have to wait for an answer, given the uncomfortable and insulted look on their faces.
Sunny Leone is admittedly the first famous and celebrated porn star in India. Still she is someone we would want to enjoy, not emulate as a role model.
We would like the porn stars to be some aliens, existing just in the movies and not in the society. Would we rent out our house to a known porn star? Would we share social space with him/her. Accepting adult video and accepting the people working in them has to go together. It can’t be a one way race.
It is also a reality that most of the young kids have easy exposure to these movies via internet. So what’s the way forward? Be it Khajuraho, Be it Lingam pooja, be it Kamasutra, be it Exploding population, sexuality is inherent in our religion and society. But somehow we lost race to the West in capitalizing and making money from it.
I would suggest that instead of letting Western adult movie industry thrive on Indian viewers, it would be better if our own people benefit from it. Go Swadeshi!
Coz of You
I skip a beat,
Dancing retreat,
Turn up the heat,
Your white suit.
I tend to faint,
Remain no Saint,
Feelings no quaint,
Your kajal eyes.
Feet tremble,
Words mumble,
Senses jumble,
Your wet hairs.
Voice chock,
Pocket broke,
Ears smoke,
Your shopping spree.
Blood rush,
Lots of blush,
Reason for crush,
Your smile.
Make me care,
Let no one stare,
Feelings rare,
Child in you.
Make me fight,
No wrong no right,
Awake at night,
My love for you.
A glorious year
Friendship, Love and Beyond
We all know the importance of friends in our lives. I won’t go into that. How friendship is affected by love is what I want to capture here. Can “a girl and a boy” be just good friends? This theme has been done to death in Hindi movies. More often than not, friends end up being lovers. Let’s explore.
The friendship of a male and female during college is quite different from that of work life. How? During college we hang out in groups. Hostellers have no life beyond college and friends. They become family. If feelings develop, it’s fine. But most of times, love does not develop, and friendship remains. Coz its family. Beyond the college, during the work life, we make new friends at office and outside. However we are in the college mindset. This is where the problem starts.
Most of the college love stories end with college itself. People go on to take jobs in different cities and that is where the romance stops. But with work life, it’s a new start altogether. People want to settle down and are looking for commitments. More often than not, love comes in between friendship, and if it is one sided, the friendship goes for a toss. It becomes uncomfortable, especially for the one who had feelings.
Let me relate a point. It might sound crude but is very practical. In India, girls who talk comfortably and openly with guys are very less. Look around your office for evidence. It is true for guys also. Such is the society in which we have grown up.
At office when a girl and guy become friends, they are seen talking together a lot, rumor mills start working. “Bhai, yeh ladki toh us ladke ki setting hai. Maine dekha hai dono ko kai baar saath”. They are assumed to be having an affair by the kill-time junta. The guy will try and react to rumors as if they are true, that’s how Dog we men are! We like to be stud. Now if the girl falls in love with someone in the same office. What happens to the friendship?
The friend-guy now becomes the ex in the eyes of the same junta. “Bhai, us ladki ne ladke ko laat maar di. Woh kisi aur ke saath ghoom rahi hai aajkal”. The guy now tries to justify that they are just friends; he had no feelings. But given his silent validation earlier, he becomes a laughing matter. He stops interacting with the girl suddenly under various pretexts. Also since they have spent so much time together, there is a feeble feeling somewhere deep down, which does not let him see her in love with someone else.
This now takes me to the movie, “Hum Tumhare Hain Sanam”. Madhuri’s friendship with Salman creates unrest in Shahrukh’s mind to the extent of breaking up their marriage. This is also true in real life. Ditto is the reason why guys can’t stand their girlfriend/wife in contact with her ex. Guys are possessive. Period! It’s not as if they doubt the commitment/character. Had it been the case, the relationship would have ended then and there. No. It’s just that guys are possessive about their girl.
Girls can go/shop/spend with her female friends; she can set the house on fire with her silliness; she can do all sorts of unreasonable things, and the guy will laugh it off. But the idea of another guy having even a bit of importance in her life, he will not be able to deal with it.
Depending on the level of love and level of maturity, the guy might relay his feelings to her and talk it out OR fight when he loves her too much to leave her but also is angry with her OR if love is not so strong, move away.
Girl may demand millions of things from his hubby. He will try and fulfill each and everything happily. Guys just demand one thing; Girl should have no place for any other guy at physical or emotional level in her life.
Courtesy: A Mad Kitten
जबसे गयी हो दूर
जबसे गयी हो तुम दूर, एक दर्द सा होता है,
होता है क्यों दर्द ये, है मुझे मालूम नहीं,
मालूम मुझे बस इतना है, कि नींद मुझे न आती है,
नींद कभी जो आ जाए, सपनों में याद सताती है||
दिन कटते हैं जैसे तैसे, रात काटने को आती,
कैसे काटूं रात ये दिन, मुझे समझ न आता है,
समझदार मैं था तो बहुत, पगला मैं बन बैठा हूँ,
बैठे बैठे, बस सोचूँ ये, किस्मत से मैं क्यों ऐंठा हूँ||
वो रास्ते, वो गलियाँ, जिनपर चलते थे हम तुम,
चलना भी दुष्वार हुआ, छाले क़दमों पे पड़ते हैं,
कदम मुझे ले जाते हैं, तेरे दरवाज़े की ओर,
दरवाज़े बंद पड़ जाते हैं, बिन तेरे किस्मत के||
तू जब थी बेहोश, वो पल लम्बे थे जीवन के,
एक बेचैनी छाई थी, तड़प रहा था मन ही मन,
तुझे कभी जो दर्द हुआ, चुभन मुझे महसूस हुई,
कब जाने ऐसा होने लगा, मुझसे पहले तू आने लगी||
वापस आजा जान तू अब, विरह सहन न होती है,
सहन जाऊंगा दुत्कार तेरी, पास जो तू मेरे होगी,
पास नहीं जो मेरे तू, जीवन जीने की आस नहीं,
इसी आस में बैठा हूँ, की आने वाली तू जल्दी है||
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