Gibberishing
There are times when we wake up to that recurring nightmare. We hope it to be the last one. But alas! It comes back. Similar are the bad habits. However hard we try, they keep hanging onto us.
One such habit that I have tried to shed, with little success is ‘talking too much’. I have dealt with short temper, emotional outburst, butt-booze successfully over the years. But I have no reasonable explanation for my tongue.
I have faced losses at academics, work and personal life alike due to my gibberish. Mind needs time to think, channelize thoughts and come out with something reasonable. But when one talks a lot, rubbish comes out, as mind has no time for processing.
People stop giving importance to what you have to say, considering the huge volumes. Over time you become like background music. You are an irritant, hindering the foreground processes.
Your relationships too take a hitting. You lock in most time for what you have to say and less time for listening to the other person. One needs a partner one could talk to. No one needs to be with a J L Baird, one way relay.
One speaks so as to express the existence of oneself, but eventually ends up being non-existent. Irony!
If you are also the one who talks a lot, now is the time to rein in. I won’t list ‘n’ points towards improvement as I am still struggling with it. If you have any advice, do let me know. It’s time to give our tongue taste of its own medicine.
ऐसा नहीं है
ऐसा नहीं था कि मुझे कुछ गम था,
पर जीवन में लगता कुछ कम था|
पत्र तो था पर मंजिल थी लापता,
अगले मोड़ पे टकराइगी, क्या था पता||
ऐसा नहीं था कि मैं कोई विश्वामित्र था,
पर तपस्या थी हकीकत, न चल-चित्र था|
इन्द्र की बारिश, ये दिल सह न सका,
जब तन मन तपाने बनी तू मेनका|
ऐसा नहीं था कि कभी मस्ती नहीं थी,
पर अपनी कोई अलग हस्ती नहीं थी|
दौड़ा गयी तू सिरहन, मिली नयी राह,
कट रहा था जीवन, आई नयी चाह|
ऐसा नहीं था कि कोई पगला था मैं,
हाँ समझदारी में थोडा कंगला था मैं|
‘हड़बड़ी कबतक, आदतें सुधारो’, तूने ज्ञान दिया,
ज्यादा नहीं गर थोड़ा तो समझदार किया|
ऐसा नहीं था कि दिल ये पत्थर था,
पर धड़कने को नहीं ये तत्पर था|
मौत के जैसे आई औ जिंदगी दे गयी,
दिल को धड़का, मेरी सांसें ले गयी|
ऐसा नहीं है तू मुझे भाती नहीं,
या सुबह शाम तेरी याद आती नहीं|
सहे हैं दुःख तूने, और दे नहीं सकता,
असमंजस है मेरा, वक़्त ले नहीं सकता|
6 conditions rejected by Anna Hazare
Delhi Police imposed 22 conditions for peaceful protest by Anna Hazare. Last heard 6 out of 22 were rejected by Anna and his team. What these 6 conditions were had been kept under wraps. Yours truly found it out through well placed sources at US Embassy, who tends to know more on India, than India itself.
Conditions were as below:
1. At least 50 helicopters should be present at the Anshan site (Quick evacuation in case of bee attack).
2. 50 AC’s are mandatory. No one should suffer heat stroke coz of Dilli ki Garmi.
3. All the attendees must sign an undertaking that they hereby agree for nasbandi.
4. Attendees should give an undertaking that they will not urinate for the entire duration. Anyone found otherwise will be lynched.
5. Such fasts tend to get boring. So as nobody dies of boredom, performance by Lady Gaga is must. Pending her nod fast cannot go ahead.
6. People made to sit long hours can develop severe back pains. Arrangements should be made for back massage by professional masseuses.
According to our sources, Anna and his team were bummed out specifically by Lady Gaga condition. They tried to reason with her. But once she insisted to perform, they had no option but to back out.
सारे जहाँ से अच्छा
सारे जहाँ से अच्छा, कहता था एक बच्चा,
हम बुलबुलें हैं इसकी, कहती थी दादी उसकी,
ग़ुरबत में हों अगर हम, विश्वास न हो बस कम,
रहता हो दिल वतन में, फक्र से न घुटन में|
परवत वो सब से ऊँचा, सबने लहू से सींचा,
गोदी में हज़ारों नदियाँ, हो गयी हैं जिनको सदियाँ,
ए आब-ए-रूद-ए-गंगा, दुबकी जो कर दे चंगा,
मज़हब नहीं सिखाता बैर, असल बात जाने दो खैर|
हिन्दी हैं हम वतन है, दुश्मन करें जतन हैं,
यूनान-ओ-मिस्र-ओ-रोमा, कुछ गए, कुछ को कोमा,
हस्ती मिटती नहीं हमारी, झूझने की है बीमारी,
हम तुझको क्यों सुनाएं, दर्द-ए-निहाँ हमारा|
PS: My tribute to Saare Jahan se Accha by Muhammad Iqbal
Things I love/hate about Anna Hazare
- I hate that he makes me feel corrupt. He tries to wake up my conscience. He makes me uncomfortable. He irks me.
- I love that he does not contest elections and hold legislative posts. Scared if he becomes PM.
- I hate the fact that he brainwashes today’s youth into believing that corruption is a bad thing.
- I love when he goes on fast and his health deteriorates. Good Riddance.
- I hate that his crusade will take off food from plates of corrupt people like me.
- I love that people like him are not selected for constitutional posts in our country. Who would bear a lokayukta like him?
- I hate that my dream of owning a black money account in Swiss bank will remain a dream because of him.
- I love the fact that he is old.
- I hate that his legacy will continue forcing me to answer to laws of the land for corruption.
Top 5 Tips for Girls to Gain Weight
Of late size zero has become a phenomenon. Humanity has never lost so much weight in history as today. What girls tend to forget is that guys like curves. Slim figure is welcome but zero is not. Most thin girls have a phobia that by gaining weight they will look fat. First of all they should shed this inhibition. A little bit of chubbiness adds to the beauty anytime.
For all those single girls whom I have been able to brainwash into gaining weight by my above appeal, here are certain easy tips. Follow them and you will thrive and men will hover around like a beehive.
Tip No 1 – Find a Guy who lives alone
It’s quite easy to find a guy in metro cities who is working there and lives away from family alone. Such guys tend to eat out most of the times rather than cooking. You will start eating out too. Eating out regularly will add that missing kilos in no time.
Tip No 2 – Hit the bed long
Getting lots of sleep is one of the easiest ways to gain weight. A minimum of 8 hours sleep is necessary. Anything above is a bonus. This way weight gain would be like a dream come true.
Tip No 3 – Beer it
Over the centuries ‘Beer belly’ has been one of the most controversial phrase. But it works and how. Drink beer regularly for a month and you wouldn’t believe how lovely you look with those plum cheeks.
Tip No 4 – Don’t flunk the junk
Go junkie! Those Big Macs, fries, pizzas, pastas are a sure shot path towards glory. Never be scared of the food. Eat as much and as junk as you can.
Tip No 5 – Get married
Easiest of them all! Scientists have been wondering over the years as to why Indian women gain weight so quickly as soon as they get married. Regardless of the reason behind, it works. The only flip side is that you are married now.
Bonus Tip: Call me!
Reincarnations of the Modern Kind
When a Rajinikant movie is released, there are poojans and processions all around. The fans have relegated a mere human to the status of God. In fact over the period of history, there have been several such cases when humans have performed such feats that the followers became worshippers.
They say there is God in all of us. Let’s consider it true for a while. Let’s try and identify the almighty who walk among us and whose reincarnation are they.
| 1. Shiva | America |
 |
The Destroyer. A handsome young man, meditating and minding his own business, when disturbed unnecessarily, opens his third eye and wreaks havoc on the world.Who more similar than America, A place for opportunities, an inviting habitat. But when Japan carried out an unprovoked attack on Pearl Harbor, retaliation was swift and deadly. Even Taliban would agree! Revered and Feared |  |
| 2. Rama | Sachin Tendulkar |
 |
The Maryada Purshottama. Unswerving self control and virtue. The composure and patience never wore out. Perfect adherence to dharma.The choice is unanimous. Sachin Tendulkar. An ideal man and a perfect human. Need I say more? |  |
| 3. Ganesha | Pranab Mukherjee |
 |
Vighnharta. This son of Shiva, hailed as the Remover of Obstacles.For the past 7 years of UPA rule, Pranab Mukherjee is the one to whom Congress run in dire situations, he is Vighnharta for sure. |  |
| 4. Hanuman | Manmohan Singh |
 |
The devotee. Served Rama from the heart. Manmohan Singh was the right hand man of Sonia Gandhi when she was bidding for PM post. Once she decided to sacrifice, her ardent devotee was rewarded. Ever since 7, Race Course has hardly disobeyed 10, Janpath. |  |
| 5. Durga | Mamta Banerjee |
 |
Feminine Force. The Devi riding a lion with a smile. Fearless.Mamta Banerjee has fought against the system for last 35 years in West Bengal single handedly. Her only weapon being her fearless and killer attitude. Durga came into full force in 2011 assembly elections when she ran over her opponents. |  |
| 6. Lakshmi | Jayalalita |
 |
The goddess of wealth, wisdom, prosperity. Sheer good luck and wealth to all the devotees.When IT dept. raided Jayalalita’s premsies, everyone was astounded to see the wealth. She promises her voters cash and kind if they bring her to power. |  |
| 7. Krishna | Akshay Kumar |
 |
The prankster. The raas-leela. An ideal lover. The Supreme Being. The Gyaan of Geeta.Akshay Kumar has always been known to be a ladies’ man. The pranks played by him on his co-stars are a part of a legend. The wit and humor is unquestionable. |  |
| 8. Annapurna | Big Bazaar |
 |
Goddess of food. Supplies food to people.In today’s world its Big Bazaar which fills the hungry stomach. From food to fruit, everything you get by making a wish to Big Bazaar. |  |
| 9. Vishnu | Common Man |
 |
The preserver and protector of creation. Mercy and goodness. It’s a self-existent entity.The Common Man by R K Laxman has been the face of aam aadmi since eternity. As witty as Vishnu and representing the facets of humanity akin to various avatars. |  |
जल उठी धरती फिर
फिर हुआ स्तम्भ विस्तंभ आज,
छाती चौड़ी, अब जीता डरके,
गम में मुस्कराना, गहरा राज|
कुछ घना, कुछ गहरा, एक साया,
चहचहा उठे पंची सारे, सांझ भई,
धड़कन बढ़ी, सकुचा, दिल घबराया,
पुराने सब काल हुए, दुर्घटना नई|
कितने हँसे, कितने रोये, क्या गिनती,
मुखौटे से दिखे सब, मूक मय अवाक,
ग्रसित हैं, मुक्त करो, बस यही विनती,
कुछ न बचा, साथ गयी झूठी साख|
एक बटन दबा, एक घनघोर ध्वनी,
चिथड़े उड़े, हर ओर गिरे, सब शांत,
चीख भी उसकी, न निकली, न सुनी,
रो उठे सागर, हिंद से लेकर प्रशांत|
लाचार लगे अब, कुछ न कर पाऊँ,
शीश महल, अब नहीं बचा, चूर-चूर,
घर कब्जाया, खतरा, अब कहाँ जाऊं,
पास था साहिल, लगे अब दूर-दूर|
शैतान था वो, कुकृत्य किया जिसने,
बेबाक जिंदगी, न कभी जिए डरके,
सरफ़रोश हुआ, तृप्त-अमृत पिया उसने
जल उठी धरती जब धू धू करके|
ArpitGarg's Weblog 